Stop It!

This blog post is written specifically to my Christian and clergy friends. All are welcome to read it but it might make more sense if one realizes to whom it is directed.

Before reading this post I strongly encourage you to watch this video.

With that in mind, every time something terrible happens in our country (mass shootings, cops shooting a unarmed suspects, riots, etc.) and you:

·         Immediately post on Facebook some mime, picture or post expressing the popular opinion about who is at fault – STOP IT! Instead, step back, take some time for an investigation to be done, for facts to be uncovered so that an intelligent conclusion (Instead of an emotional conclusion.) can be arrived at and then, if you must, weigh in with your thoughts.

·         Speak out about how heartbroken you are about what has happened, piling on the words to sound even sadder than the last person who expressed their sadness. STOP IT! Of course you are heartbroken. Any caring, mentally balanced, emotionally healthy, clear thinking person is heartbroken. You are adding nothing helpful to the corporate conversation. You are not helping.

·         Support a rally sponsored by BLACK LIVES MATTER or any other special interest group. STOP IT! Of course Black lives matter. I haven’t done the research but I feel comfortable saying that less than 5% of the American population doesn’t believe that black lives matter. And holding a demonstration on the subject is going to do absolutely nothing to change the minds of the bigoted jackasses who don’t believe that black lives matter. Because such demonstrations hold such great possibilities of descending into violence, and do so little to effect change, they are generally a bad idea.

·         Trot out your diatribe that if we would past some more laws on gun control, all of this madness would cease. STOP IT! It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that guns are not our core problem – not even close. Hatred, lack of aggressive treatment of mental health problems and attempting to live as a society in a spiritual vacuum are at the heart of our violence problem. Could we do better with the control of guns in America? Of course we could. Would it make a huge difference? Probably not. Certainly we are not naive enough to believe that, are we? Gun control is just an obvious and easy topic to debate. Take away the guns and the hatred, racism and killing would stop? Of course not.

·         Use the opportunity to plug your favorite politician. STOP IT! In my lifetime I have watched politicians of all ilk’s promise the moon, rise to power and nothing much has changed. The sad truth is if they have the power to procure a significant office, they don’t really care about us. (No matter what the TV ads might say.) Our political system is so dysfunctional that real change has become an impossibility. And my observation over the decades has been, if you want something to get profoundly screwed up, put the federal government in charge of it. No matter how badly you want to believe it, the reality is your candidate for office is not going to fix our country.

·         Express your shock that a police officer has done something inappropriate, improper or contrary to the protection of the public he or she is sworn to protect. STOP IT! Is it a shame? Yes, of course. Is it shocking? Not really. Cops are people and people make mistakes. In any given group of people one will find some that are not too intelligent, some that are mean people, some that are bigoted people, some that are thoughtless people and some that are emotionally unhealthy people. That would be true for police officers. My research tells me that as of last year there were 1.1 million police officers in the United States. If there were just 1% of these officers who fell under the unhealthy descriptions I just shared that would work out to about 10,000 possibilities of something going very wrong. So, is misconduct by a police officer horrible and unacceptable – yes. Do these bad apples need to be weeded out, absolutely. But is this bad behavior shocking, no.

All of the above is so easy to do. For many of us these are our default responses. Talk first and think later. Knee jerk to our default political position. Respond emotionally instead of intelligently. Talk much and do little. It is just what we do. It is also profoundly ineffective. So just STOP IT!

Let me suggest what we Christians and clergy could do that would make a difference. Do what God put us on this earth to do. Apply our theology that tells us that we live in a fallen and broken world that needs the wholeness and healing that comes only from God through a relationship with Jesus. Get out of your office, your home, your church, your comfort zone and engage some people in real and vital relationships and conversations. Within the strength of those relationships share the love, healing, forgiveness, mercy and salvation that is made available to them through the love of God in Jesus Christ. Take some great advice from my son, David. “Want to do something about racism? Befriend a racist. Don't think racism is a problem? Surround yourself with minorities. Want to change the world? Get off Facebook and engage your fellow man. You won't change someone's mind by arguing with them.” Even if he is mine, I think the man is brilliant.

Want to change the world? Change hearts and lives. That is done one-on-one in relationships. Want to see hatred end? Change lives. I know it works because it worked in me. I grew up angry, hostile and basically a hater. If I met you I didn’t like you. My brother introduced me to Christ and Jesus changed my heart. I can’t explain the process but I know it happened. Politics didn’t. Arguments didn’t. Lectures didn’t. Those things may change circumstances but they won’t change hearts and lives. Jesus did it for me and millions of others and He can do it again in this dark and chaotic world in which we live. Things change. People don’t. Not without lots of work and the touch and power of God.

It is our calling as Christians: we are Ambassadors for Christ. We must get out of our Christian ghettos, connect with people who do not yet know God and are struggling with hurt, hatred, racism, brokenness, sin, lack of purpose, confusion, addictions, crappy relationships, fear, poverty and share with them the good news that there is a God who loves them and intends more for their lives.

Copyright © 2016, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Bill McConnell is the Interim Minister at Norwood Christian Church in Cincinnati, Ohio, and is a Church Transformation consultant and a Christian Leadership Coach. He is a frequent speaker at Church Transformation events. His latest book on church transformation is DEVELOPING A SIGNIFICANT CHURCH and is available at Westbow Press.

He can be contacted @ bill45053@gmail.com. Connect with him on Facebook @ William T. McConnell or on Twitter @billmc45053 or visit his Amazon Author Page @ Amazon

8 Reasons Failing Churches Are Failing to Change

The closing of churches in America is a daily occurrence. Even with as much emphasis denominations are making on planting and developing new churches, the rate of decline and death is far outdistancing the growth seen in the new church initiatives. My question is, “Why, if it is possible, don’t these churches pull out all stops to reverse the decline?” In my many conversations with leaders of dying or plateaued churches, I have discovered there are many reasons. Some of those are:

1. In denial. As has been often said, denial is not just a river in Africa. It is difficult to see and accept that someone or something we love is not doing well and may be moving toward death. Our minds deal with these painful situations by denying their existence. Sometimes it is easy to be in denial because there is still a rather large attendance in morning worship. We fail to realize that those in attendance are aging rapidly and natural attrition will quickly decrease our attendance and membership. Since I have difficulty is seeing my own aging, it is difficult to grasp the aging of my friends and family.
2. Keeping our heads down. Denial is burying one’s head in the sand. Sometimes we don’t do that, but, instead, fail to look up and look around to notice what is going on. From my perspective in my little world, I don’t notice that the church is wasting away. I’m still here and my little circle of friends is still here. What more could I ask for? It is not until my circle starts to disappear that I realize the church is losing members.
3. Afraid of the truth. Many times church leaders are afraid, if everyone realizes that the church is declining, that their leadership will be questioned. We preachers are well known for having double vision when it comes time to count attendance. A recent blog by a fellow Disciples minister (Evan Dolive) suggested perhaps we would do well to stop taking attendance. Maybe we should, instead, concentrated on being a healthy church that is producing disciples and impacting our communities for Christ. I sense the attendance issue would take care of itself.
4. Change haters. It is the rare bird who likes and embraces change. For most of us, the call to change runs contrary to our nature. Beginning as small children we find comfort in repetition. There are a couple of books that, at his request, his mother and I read to our oldest son several thousand times. Like most men, I am challenged at the thought of throwing away a favorite piece of clothing. It just about can’t get too ragged for me to quit wearing it. I tend to drive to work and home again the same way day after day. (Sometimes I arrive in my driveway and wonder how I got there.) I have followed the same system of sermon preparation for years. Many of us say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” The problem with the church is that it is broken. We say things like, “If it was good enough for our parents it should be good enough for the latest generation.” For many of us that makes sense. Unfortunately, it is wrong.
5. No longer motivated to do evangelism. We have lost the vision for evangelism. As a seminary professor said several years ago, “We haven’t been nearly as good at evangelism since we canceled hell.” In our multicultural, pluralistic society, we are confronted by ever increasing populations of people adhering to other religions. As we attempt to adapt to our new world, we have become fearful of appearing narrow minded, spiritually arrogant or religiously intolerant. No evangelism no church growth. It is a simple but powerful formula for decline. Sooner or later our passing disenchanted members back and forth can no longer disguise our lack of real growth. We have, somehow, lost sight of the fact that Christianity is unique in world religions.
6. Too frightened or lazy to do what needs to be done. Changing a church – what many of us call Church Transformation – is difficult work. It takes much study, thought, prayer, teaching and trial and error. There are few models of church transformation to follow. It is emotionally draining, calls for long hours on the job, produces very little positive feedback (especially in the early stages) and takes many years to do. Frankly, it is easier to ride out what you have and pray it lasts until you are ready to retire.
7. Don’t know another way. The way we are doing church is how we have always done church. We mistakenly believe that the 20^th Century way of doing church is the way church has always been done and is the only way it can be done. We are just doing church like we have always seen it done; we don’t know another way. For some odd reason we seem convinced that if we keep doing what we are doing it will, somehow, begin to produce different and better results. To make the necessary changes that will make the church healthy, viable, and growing takes learning a whole new way of doing church. It is not that we must change everything we do; but we must come to the point we are willing to change everything we do.
8. Work from the misconception that doing church like we do it is sacred. Along with only knowing one way to do church, we often mistakenly believe that what we have inherited from our parents is the God ordained, sacred way of doing church. To do differently would be sacrilegious. This is an amazingly egocentric way of looking at things but it is very common. It helps a lot to get out of your tiny denomination box and visit churches of a different flavor. This must be done with an open mind and heart. The self-righteousness that fosters the idea that our way is God’s chosen way generally closes one to learning from others. It is easy to discount and look down on how others do church differently and rationalize that their “success” is not real. But if what we are doing is not reaching people, perhaps we would do well to be more open.

Copyright © 2014, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Bill McConnell is Senior Minister at Lindenwood Christian Church in Memphis, Tennessee and is a Church Transformation consultant and a Christian Leadership Coach. He is a frequent speaker at Church Transformation events. He can be contacted @ bill45053@gmail.com.

Cream to 2%

As often happens, as I gain some age and perspective, I have been taking a look back to process what I have experienced and possibly learned. I do this with some consternation because I have seen older folks do this all my life and they seem to almost always bemoan the good things that have been lost in their lifetimes. It is often a – woe is me, the world is going to hell in a hand basket – discourse. I don’t want to be one of those people.

But I also don’t think it takes one of great intelligence to realize that the shift in our value system over the past 50 years has had a profound impact upon our society. Some of that impact and those changes have been good and healthy. We now talk about some things we need to talk about that used to be taboo. In some ways we are more open and honest and real. And I love that.

But unless one is mired deeply in denial, it is painfully obvious that many of the changes in our values have had a negative effect on our culture. Many of us are in denial because admitting that negative impact would mean we have made some very wrong decisions and put our faith in some pretty poor values. We would rather dance around the issues than admit that we are wrong. My generation, like most generation before and after, believed ourselves to be the smartest people to ever inhabit the earth. All great thinking began with us. Those who came before us may have been well meaning but not too smart.

One doesn’t have to stop, look, listen and think very long before perceiving that something is wrong and the solutions we have applied to the problems we have encountered are not producing great results. In my simple, pragmatic way, I would say that if it isn’t working we should try something else. I would also suggest we take a hard look at our value system and how it has been changed over the years.

I heard a dear friend speak of his concern for the effect his grandfather had on his father and uncles over the years. Even after fifty years, his impact was powerful, dynamic and destructive. One of my friend’s uncles had committed suicide that week. The family was thrown into chaos. The uncle was the type of individual "that would never do such a thing". It caused the speaker to have vague fears about the effect his "weirdness" would have on his children and grandchildren. 

My fears are the opposite. I fear the lack of effect my "weirdness" will have on my children. I see myself as a transmitter of values from my father to my children. Family values are not easily communicated today. There is so much competition from other sources. School, television, movies, professional athletes, pop "feel-good" psychology and other influences give the family plenty of competition. And, to further complicate the matter, I have not been a good conductor. When I needed to be high quality copper, it seems I have been cheap iron. My father's values are not being transmitted well. As they say, much has been lost in the translation.

My father's value system was both beautiful and functional. His values were like thick cream skimmed off the top of life; rich, full, and useful. One could almost sink one's teeth into them. His values were strong, bold and solid. They worked. They were passed down through the proceeding generations and developed over the years through hard work, thought, application, reconsideration and reapplication. He received them as a precious gift from his father and he gave them to me. Not just for safekeeping, but to help me get them most out of life and to help me add the most to life. Values were to empower me to live, instead of a life of success, a life of significance. 

Several years ago my older brother and I compared notes and recollections and recognized these as some of the values we received from our father:

                        m Work hard and don't expect something for nothing.

                        m Make work fun.

                        m Listen to people. Really listen.

                        m Keep practicing until excellence is natural.

                        m Be generous in helping others.

                        m Be a giver not a taker.

                        m Set high goals and strive to attain them.

                        m Put God first, family second, and work third.

                        m Be dependable, a man of your word.

                        m Be prompt. Being late is rude.

                        m To have good friends you must be a good friend.

                        m Be fun to be around.

                        m Make sacrifices for your family and friends.

                        m Keep learning and thinking.

                        m Dare to dream big dreams. Have a vision.

                        m Stand up for what you believe to be right.

                        m Pray and trust God.

 

He gave me this magnificent chilled glass of thick rich cream. As he handed it to me, I could see the cream slosh up the sides of the tumbler, dripping with rivulets of condensation, and coating the glass with its translucent richness. He urged me to drink deeply of its cool sweetness knowing that the more of it I drank the more I would have to give to my children when it came time to pass the cup. Values, like love, are unusual in that the more you use them, the more you have to share.

But catastrophe struck before it came time to share its rich goodness with my progeny. I was there the entire time, but I am still not sure exactly what happened. I guess it happened so slowly and over such an extended period of time that the catastrophe failed to fully register in my consciousness. All I know for sure is that when I handed the glass to my children, the cream no longer stuck to the sides. When I looked closer I realized that the content of the glass was no longer rich, thick cream. It looked more like the 2% milk I now have on my cereal in the mornings. Much more watery than either whole milk or cream; 2% milk shows itself for the "weak sister" it is most clearly when it is used as a creamer in coffee. If you want to see something really nasty, put 2% milk in coffee.

The catastrophic change was unnoticed because it was not one grand accident where I (And my generation) tripped and spilled the values in a big mess on the floor. Instead, in out astounding egotism of thinking all great thinking began with us, we splashed a little out here, dribbled a bit there, choked on a mouthful here and poured a tad down the drain there. In my attempt to keep the glass full, I added a touch of water here and there to keep up the appearance of holding a full glass. After all, who was going to notice a little water?

Well, it ends up that I am the one who notices. I have noticed that our lack of solid values has had a powerfulliy negative effect on my world. Our culture in in chaos but we refuse to believe the chaos has anything to do with a faulty value system. We blame it on a lack of education, inequity of money distribution, political processes, classism, sexism, and corporate greed. The truth is all of these things are off kilter because our values are screwed up. We will not fix these social issues until we address our values.

But then, my children don't notice because they have never seen or experienced the real thing – the cream. The cultural assault on values crashing down on them from other sources makes for values more akin to sewage than cream. And I certainly didn’t help much: didn’t add much to the mix. Even so, though my values seem pretty thin and weak compared to those of my father, my watered down value system is quite distinct from the alternatives available to my children and grandchildren.

It is my prayer they can filter through the muck and somehow rediscover the rich, healthy, foundational values my father passed on to me.

Copyright © 2013, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Motivation

Motivation. Everyone is talking about motivation. My coaches were constantly trying to motivate us to work harder, play better and win more. Bosses are attempting to motivate their workers to produce more and better goods. Parents stay awake at night thinking of ways to motivate their children to do better in school. Motivation is a big deal.

There are thousands of articles written each year, and many more talks and speeches made with the express intent to motivate us. Frankly, very few of them have much impact. And most of those that succeed produce rather short term results. Like most people, I can be motived but usually for a very short span of time. Motivation wanes if it is not produced from within. We are only motived by things that really matter to us; things we really care about.

The things that motivate us; the things that drive us to do what we need to do are called our Core Values. At the church I serve we are in the process of writing our Mission Statement, our Vision Statement and our Core Values. Many people like to believe these things are not important and it is a waste of time to work on them. A more factual statement is; these things are important and foundational and they are difficult to think about. Whether we write them down or not; whether we articulate them or not; we have a mission and core values and these are the things that drive us.

Our mission is our calling in life. As a believer in God, I have a God given mission that I am living my life for and spending my time and resources in fulfilling. My vision is how I go about getting my mission accomplished. My vision gives my mission voice and hands and feet to get the job done. And my core values are the energy that empowers me to fulfill my mission. No mission – nothing happens. No vision – nothing happens. Wrong values – nothing happens. The church must have all three and faithfully be guided by them or the church will wander in the wilderness and eventually die. Scripture powerfully says it like this: “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” (Proverbs 29:18 (KJV) The New International Version says it like this: “Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.” Either way, it is a bad idea to try to do church well without a clear mission, vision and values. It is universally true that churches that are not motived by a God given vision are in the process of dying. We like to blame our demise on many factors but it all comes back to lack of vision.

Again, many churches have these statements. Unfortunately most of these mission and vision statements are safely filed away in a cabinet in an office somewhere on the premises or posted on a wall in the church library but consistently ignored when it comes to making the decisions that impact the ministries, mission and the future of the church. Instead of adhering to these foundational principles, we tend to just head off in whatever direction that seems right and meaningful at the moment. And we will rarely fulfill our mission and follow our vision without first taking a hard look at our values. We must ask, what do we value?

Most churches in our culture fail to move forward; fail to impact our communities; fail to fulfill their missions because the basic core value that empowers the church is summed up in the statement – I want my way. Churches expend most of their resources and energy placating unhappy members; doing what makes the present membership happy; not doing anything, (no matter if it would be something that fits the mission exactly) that might cause any discomfort or upheaval among the present membership. We spend so much time and energy making sure everyone is happy and comfortable we don’t have the resources (time, talents, money, energy) to reach out to those in our sphere of influence who do not yet know Christ. We become inward focused instead of outward focused. We are more concerned with maintaining the present membership than reaching those who don’t know God. We become self-serving. And that is not what God intended us to do and be.

Here is the difficult part of the whole deal. We need to change our core values. We need to find the motivation to change those thoughts, attitudes and ideas (values) that motivate us. Wow, how difficult is that? We must be motivated to change our motivation.

We must begin by owning our current values. This is difficult because our current values, when considered in the context of being a Christian, are often embarrassing. We must admit to being self-center and self-serving and small minded; mired in the muck insisting that having our needs met is of primary importance. But once we can own up to our immature and selfish value system we can begin to dismantle it and rebuild with a Godly value system. My counsel to the church is the same counsel I have given myself. Study the New Testament to discover what values drove Jesus to do what He did and adopt those values. This seems to make sense to me since we are called to be His disciples, follow in His footsteps and to live life as He lived life. New values do not come easily.

This is a basic, foundational change that is extremely difficult to make. It takes courage, concentration and consistent readjusting. It is my prayer we, the church, have that courage and consistency. Because if we don’t, we will surely die.

Copyright © 2013, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved