The Name Game

Names were simple when I was a young’un. Bob, Bill, Linda, Kay, Liz, Carol, Tom, Barry or Larry would suffice. But, just are parenting has become a difficult science, the naming of the child has become a big deal.

We contemplated the naming of our children for several hours. We named one with a longstanding family name from my side. The next we named for her maternal grandmother and aunt. The next was named for my best friend and his grandfather. The last was named what she was named because we liked the name. (I guess we had run out of relatives we liked.) The spelling was basically straightforward: William Thomas, Margaret Francis, David Nelson and Robin Lynn. Nothing difficult here.

But then the following generations have decided to make parenting and child naming much more difficult. I honestly feel sorry for the children of today. They are never left alone… and I mean NEVER. It is considered bad parenting to let your children out of your sight. To make things worse, the government has gotten involved. (That is a guarantee that things will get goofy.) Treat a child like I was treated and now you might get charged with child endangerment.

I remind parents that the best times, the most fun they had as children, their parents were not present. I am a part of those generations that, on summer days, left the house after breakfast and didn’t come back in until it was dinner time. We camped out for days at a time. We shot bow and arrows, BB guns and rifles without adult supervision. We built campfires and cooked our own dinner. We carried pocket knives and hunting knives and knew how to use them safely. We could hunt, clean the game, butcher it and cook it. I got crappy jobs I did not like and kept going to them. I drank out of a hose and didn’t die… went canoeing on the Ohio River without a lifejacket and still lived… I even rode a bike without a helmet and lived to adulthood. The parents weren’t there. My childhood was an unplanned, unstructured adventure. It was great.

When my brother was 16, I was 14 and my sister was 10, we loaded up in the family car (sans parents) and drove to Washington D.C. to visit an aunt and uncle. Contrary to popular beliefs, we all lived through childhood, basically unscathed, and learned to overcome fear, become self-reliant, think for ourselves, develop maturity and not depend on our parents to always be there to make sure nothing bad ever happened to us. Back then we called it growing up.

Many of our children today, ever supervised and overseen, are growing up without a spot, chip, or emotional scar – perfect. Like fine crystal they are lovely to look at but easily shattered. It takes little to blow their worlds apart. They need “safe spaces.” Bullying can be life threatening. If a boss speaks unkindly they must leave that job. In other words, they have survived childhood but have never really grown up – never matured.

Did bad things sometimes happen to us? Of course they did. I got cut from a Little League baseball team and it broke my heart, but it didn’t end my ball career. I learned to take rejection and get up and try again. (We called that dating.) I got bullied in school. So I gathered up some friends for a come to Jesus meeting with the bully and the bullying stopped. The school administration and my parents never heard about it: I took care of the problem. I learned how to function in my real world. My parents didn’t need to run interference for me and fix all that was broken. I thank God for my parents and their parenting style.

Back to naming kids. We were named for revered loved ones, best friends, important people. The uniqueness in our names came from linage. Now it seems that name game is about giving your child a unique name because my little treasure is special and deserves a name that sets him or her apart from others. Good idea? Probably not.

First I noticed seeing some unpronounceable, unspellable names tacked onto some young people I encountered. Then came the great idea of naming a child with a relatively common name and then spelling it in an odd way. William became Wyllyam. Timothy became Thymothee. What these parents have failed to take into account is that they have sentenced their little darlings to a lifetime of repeating and spelling their names over and over and over again. For the first time I am aware of, this model of child naming has invaded my family. I have a great grandchild coming who has been tagged with the moniker, Karsyn. I think it is a girl and her name is Carson. Oh well Karsyn, enjoy spelling your name a few million times in your lifetime. Each time you do, be sure and glare at your parents.

Next time you see me be sure and call me Byll.

Copyright © 2016, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Bill McConnell is the Interim Minister at Norwood Christian Church in Cincinnati, Ohio, and is a Church Transformation consultant and a Christian Leadership Coach. He is a frequent speaker at Church Transformation events. His latest book on church transformation is DEVELOPING A SIGNIFICANT CHURCH and is available at Westbow Press.

He can be contacted @ bill45053@gmail.com. Connect with him on Facebook @ William T. McConnell or on Twitter @billmc45053 or visit his Amazon Author Page @ Amazon