Friday, July 1, 2016

One, Two, Three Up


I couple of weeks ago I went to our church’s Adult Conference. It is like church camp for old people. I had been recruited to preach at the evening Vesper Services. I dreaded going for several reasons.

1.      I would have to spend a week away from my loving wife.

2.      I would have to have dialysis in a strange clinic where I didn’t know the technicians who would be putting needles the size of a ball point pen in my arm.

3.      I don’t sleep well on a strange bed.

4.      It is difficult to monitor my food and fluid intake while hanging around with a bunch of people.

5.      I am an introvert going to spend a week in a room with a bunch of people I didn’t know.

6.      And, as I complained to my Board Chair, I wasn’t looking forward to spending a week with a bunch of old people. She gave me the strangest look that might have said, “Look who’s talking?”

I was right: there were lots of old people in attendance. She was right: I was one of them. Let me give you a couple of examples.

It was the second day at the conference and lunch time rolled around. They set out an amazing table of meats and cheese. My mouth was watering. Visions of the sandwich God would serve for lunch in heaven formed in my mind. Since they didn’t have bacon, a BLT was off the table. My mind went to the second choice: ham and cheese on rye with lots of mustard. As difficult as it was, I waited my turn. (It was a Christian conference after all.) I started my work of art with the perfect bread. Added a few slabs of some nice sharp cheddar cheese, but when I arrived at the meat platter there was no ham. Oh no, Mr. Bill. I kept my cool, engaged those in line with me in conversation. It was less about being friendly and enjoying Christian fellowship and more about killing time. Almost immediately Larry showed up with more ham. God is good. The Senior moment came when I returned to my table and dug into my treat. I was almost half way finished with my sandwich when I realized I was eating a cheese sandwich. I forgot the ham. My quandary - Is it old age or ADD? Probably both. If it wouldn’t have made me look like “Pig of the Year”, I would have gotten back in line.

The high point of the conference for me was the morning Bible Lectures by Dr. Ron Allen. He was consistently interesting, engaging and informative. Following the Thursday lecture I found myself chuckling as the old folks arose from their chairs. One after another took three tries to stand up. First try; up about half of an inch. Second try; pretty close to six inches. Third try was charmed. Every time, on the third try the senior citizen would pop up out of his or her chair. It was interesting and I was enjoying the show. Suddenly I had a hankering for a nice cup of coffee and set off for the coffee table. It wasn’t until I was standing that I realized it had taken me three tries to stand up.

So I report that me and the other old people had a great time at Adult Conference.

Copyright © 2016, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Bill McConnell is the Interim Minister at Norwood Christian Church in Cincinnati, Ohio, and is a Church Transformation consultant and a Christian Leadership Coach. He is a frequent speaker at Church Transformation events. His latest book on church transformation is DEVELOPING A SIGNIFICANT CHURCH and is available at Westbow Press.

He can be contacted @ bill45053@gmail.com. Connect with him on Facebook @ William T. McConnell or on Twitter @billmc45053 or visit his Amazon Author Page @ Amazon

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