Drive Thru

Like all others in the world, I gotta eat. But, living alone, I find it difficult to get motivated to cook for one. My mother taught me how to cook. When we had children in the house, the family scheduling worked better if I cooked on the week days. Cooking is something I can do. I just don’t want to. Not just for me. So, I eat out a lot. And I go through the drive thru several times every week.

This morning, on my way to the office, I drove through a popular spot to pick up some breakfast. My first hint that I was in for a special morning was when I noticed that the person in front of me in line still had her right turn blinker on. I started thinking that this was a person who was not fully engaged – possibly not paying attention. I have learned, for safety sake, to pay special attention to other drivers who don’t seem to be paying attention.

It took her so long to order that I started timing the transaction. Four minutes. It took her just over four minutes to place her order. It seemed like an eternity. When I pulled up I noted that it took me significantly less than 30 seconds to place my order. I will admit that mine was not a complicated order, but still. Next she pulled up to the pay window. This was another four minute wait. I was starting to believe that driver in front of me and the woman taking payments were old friends who hadn’t seen each other in a long time and were catching up. The conversation went on and on and on. This was especially irritating to me, a person who is not into small talk. Finally money was exchanged and we pulled forward. Since the money taker and I were not old friends my stay at that window lasted less than 20 seconds.

Next step – pick up your order. Quick and simple. Not for the lady in front of me. With her blinker still rhythmically flashing in my face, I watched her engage the next employee in a very animated five and one half minute conversation. Yes, by then I was timing everything. It gave me something to do. It must of have one heck of a conversation. Her arms were flinging, her head was bobbing. Several times during the conversation the driver’s hand extended out the window, palm facing toward the employee, in the universal “stop talking” gesture. The employee seemed to be quietly enduring the conversation.

I must admit that at this point I was getting a bit antsy – for several reasons. First, this was a fast food restaurant. I had come here for food, fast. I needed to get to work. Secondly, I was in the drive thru because I didn’t want to waste time parking the car and walking into the restaurant to place my order. Third, the meaningless blinker going off in my face was irritating. And fourth, I am a guy and I am over sixty. I had been sitting in line for almost ten minutes so I, of course, had to go to the bathroom. While trying to think of a nice way to ask for an empty extra-large drink cup to relieve my pain, the blinker mobile in front of me finally pulled away. But not before “gabby lady” got her order. Her order - one small coffee. Really. That was it. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or scream. I decided instead to just write about it.

As I was getting my order I lost track of what I was doing when I realized that the blinker mobile was making a U turn and getting back in line. If I hadn’t needed to get to work, I swear I would have parked my car, eaten my breakfast and watched the show. My prayer is that none of the restaurant employees were armed. Cause that lady needed shooting.

Copyright © 2014, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved