Lives of Significance: This Is Good News?

I spent a couple of days last week back in Ohio with my wife. In a way it was a special occasion. She had a doctor’s appointment to get some test results.

When people tell me they are going to have some medical tests, I always tell them I will pray for them. Often someone will reply, “You don’t need to pray, it is just a test.” I think, you have no idea what you are talking about. Some of the most aggravating, humiliating and painful experiences I have ever had were during medical tests. Let me share just one word – colonoscopy. Nuff said.

My wife had a bone morrow biopsy done a couple of weeks ago. I hurt just saying the phrase. The doctor burrowed through lots of skin and tissue until he hit bone. Ouch! And then he kept on digging into the bone and culled out a core. Double ouch!! The nurse, no doubt, said something reassuring like, “You are liable to feel I little pinch.” This is medical language for, “This is going to hurt like hell. After the procedure we will have to peel you off the ceiling with a spatula.” She knew and I knew that if they were going to the trouble to “take a pinch” out of her bone, they were not looking for anything good.

I have a little medical background having worked as an Emergency Medical Technician for over 25 years, I know enough to be dangerous. I also know enough to not Google™ “bone marrow biopsy.” If you are dealing with a medical problem, Google™ it if you want to know what is the worst outcome possible; if you don’t care if the information you receive is factual; if you want to add depression to you medical problems; if you want to have the wadding scared out of you. When it comes to medical information, the internet is not famous for factual, friendly information. But I do know enough to know when the medical experts start looking a bone marrow they are looking for leukemia – or worse.

Upon her arrival home she handed me a six page, small print report. It contained everything one could possibly want to know about her bone marrow and a whole lot more. But what struck me was how often the word “negative” was used. Pardon my redundancy but generally speaking, negative means something bad; something negative. Except in medical reports. In medical test results one must make a mental shift and keep in mind that positive is bad and negative is good. As I read my wife’s report, each time I read the phrase “negative result”, first I flinched and then I smiled as I reminded myself that negative meant she was healthy.

The other interesting and oddly positive word used in the report was “unremarkable.” Often results were referred to as unremarkable. That took some getting used to. You will understand my confusion if you have ever met my wife. Nancy is many things, but unremarkable is not one of them. Just about anything you can think of in describing her is remarkable. She is remarkably beautiful; remarkably intelligent; remarkably organized; remarkably spiritual; remarkably honest; remarkably accommodating; remarkably cuddly; remarkably remarkable.

The news was positive and remarkable and good so we went out and celebrated. Thanks for the prayers.