Can't Fix It

Fixing things has become a lost art. Much of the problem/change comes from the fact that for most of our electronics and small appliances, it is cheaper to replace them than to have them repaired. So, we don’t fix things, we replace them.

Then, there are some things you just can’t fix. Ron White says, “You can’t fix stupid.” But I would never be rude enough to say something like that. Most of us have had the experience of breaking something and knowing, in an instant, that it could never be repaired. As much as I am a believer in new beginning and do overs, there is brokenness that is beyond repair. As my dear friend Dean Benton says, “With God you can begin again, again.” It is true. But sometimes we make a mistake that is forgivable, but it is unfixable.

Most of my experience with unfixable brokenness has to do with things I have said. The words come out, fall to the floor and shatter and the damage is done. We usually attempt to fix it, but the more we talk, the worse it gets. I dig the hole deeper. I get backed further into the corner. The pile becomes larger. The mess gets messier. Until I finally give up… and just live with my mistake.

I remember having just such an experience as a teenaged boy. Our family met each evening around the dinner table. These evening meals were more than just a time to chow down on some great grub. At the dinner table we learned proper manners; how to tell a story; how to take a joke and develop a sense of humor; how to share our lives; how to speak proper English; how to debate politics, religion and other life issues. Mom was a great cook and dinner was delicious. But mainly dinner time was a learning experience.

At dinner one evening my father was ragging on me about my girlfriend, Nancy Rupp. She was cute and sweet and the whole family loved her. But that didn’t stop my dad from teasing me about her. She was a shapely little thing so my dad, taking a poke at me, comments that she is built like a fullback. I immediately responded, “No she’s not. She’s too thin on top.” Even as the words were exiting my mouth, I was already regretting them. How, I wondered, would I fix this? “Thin on top!” How could I be so stupid? I had set myself up for hours of torturous teasing. My life had taken a powerful turn for the worse. Lord Jesus, help me!! My mind raced for a solution… a way to fix it. But there was none. Every attempt I made; every word I said; just made things worse. Finally I just gave up and let the verbal beatings begin.

A new friend here in Memphis had one of those “can’t fix it” moments the other night. Several of us had gathered in his home for some good old Christian “fellowship” when his wife dropped him in the barrel. Just as a passing comment she mentioned that when he married his first wife, he took has dad on the honeymoon. Yes, you heard me… his dad on his honeymoon. The room was suddenly frozen in silence. I am sure most of us were processing what had just been said. Had we heard correctly? He took his “what” on his HONEYMOON! That couldn’t be right. And he was thinking, “My first wife has suddenly become my favorite wife. I can’t believe she said that. How am I going to fix this?”

He immediately began defending, skirting, interpreting, redefining, and overhauling the concept that he had, in fact, taken his father on his honeymoon. As he sputter and squirmed in his rather (this is just an opinion) lame attempts to make it okay that he had taken his father on his honeymoon, I tried to reassure him that there are just some things you can’t fix. And this one was unfixable. Just let it go. Drop it. Ignore it. Move on. You can’t fix it.

Copyright © 2013, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved