Ken Has Left the Building

I am going to tell you a couple of things about me before it get into the meat of this blog.

If you know me well it is obvious to you that I have a problem taking advice. A dear friend of mine has told me several times to not say this but I keep saying, "I am not a very spiritual person." What I mean by that is that my nature, the way I am wired, is not to understand, see or do the spiritual side of things. Having been an aggressive Christian (I just made that up and I like it.) for several decades I do tend to be more spiritual than I was. That is just because I have been working on it a long time. But being spiritual is not my natural inclination. So, when something happens, my first inclination is not to put a spiritual spin on it. Not that I don't believe there is a spiritual side to it, but spiritual is just not the first place I usually go.

As we talk about taking advice – or rather, not taking advice, here is another example. When I was in seminary, a piece of advice that was often given went something like this; "Don't be close friends with your church members." I haven't taken that advice either. It is my opinion that on several levels this is some really ridiculous advice. Why wouldn't I want some of the Christians closest to me to be my friends? Do I want to hold these people at arm's length so that they don't learn what a jerk I really am? Hang around me for a few minutes and you can figure that out. I don't try to keep secrets. I am not the Most Holy Reverend McConnell, not interested in being that person and don't pretend to be that person. Isn't part of being a part of the church transparency? Perhaps we aren't supposed to make friends with church member because, the way churches and preachers work, I will be leaving sometime in the future? Trust me; everyone leaves everyone sooner or later.

I say all of that to say, one of the Elders in the church I serve died this week. He was a friend. And I am completely bummed out about it. If I had heeded the advice I had been given, Ken would not be a friend and his death wouldn't bother me terribly. But he was a friend; he was a wonderful friend. And if I were more spiritual I would be saying things like: "He is in a better place." "God has another soul in heaven to worship Him." "Christians do not grieve like people who don't know God." "We don't always understand God's ways, but they are always best." All of that is okay, right and righteous. I am just not inclined to say them. I am much more inclined to say things like this: "Ken died and that sucks."

Ken was an awesome person. He was married to Sharon whom he loved her deeply, dearly, fully, unabashedly and publically. Their relationship was a thing of beauty and it was just plain fun to watch them together. And Sharon was completely sold on Ken. Ken was crazy about his children and grandchildren. He thought they were the greatest. Ken was an amazing friend. Somehow he made each of his many friends feel that we were special to him and he liked me more than anyone.

The last few years of his life Ken worked at Home Depot. Perhaps I should say that he ministered at Home Depot. Emanating the glow of God's spirit, Ken's presence just drew people to him to seek advice, counsel, encouragement, and prayer. His warmth and wonderful smile, his kindness and sense of humor, his caring and thoughtfulness were used by God to touch innumerable lives. Because he was so real and transparent, he was a natural at attracting friends and doing ministry.

My experience with Ken began in the Emmaus community. When I first saw Ken, long black hair in a ponytail, pierced ears, wearing some bright bling and dressed all in black, I thought, "Biker dude." He was just a bit intimidating. Soon I had the privilege of serving on an Emmaus team with Ken and spend some time just getting to know him and knew immediately that I wanted this guy for a friend. He was so real, a man's man and yet, so much in love with God. Life had not been easy for Ken or easy on Ken. He had made some mistakes, done some things he shouldn't have and had some things done to him that should not have been done. But he rose above all of that and became an amazing man and a marvelous, faith filled Christian. I was thrilled when he decided to become a part of the church I serve. He brought so much to the life of the church. It seems that every life Ken touched was, in some way, changed for the good. The presence of God in Ken's life empowered those around him.

I thank God for allowing me to know and share life with Ken Johnson. He blessed my life and helped me in my walk with Jesus. But I still think his dying sucks.

Copyright © 2009, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved