Awaiting the Savior – Five Reasons a New Pastor Won’t Save Your Church

Throughout the history of the church true believers have been awaiting the return of Jesus – the Savior.

The early disciples and many members of the first century church were just sure Jesus’ return was imminent. They talked about it. They looked forward to it. They made plans banking on it. It seems they were disappointed. They were the first expectant ones, but not the only ones nor the last ones. Believers through the centuries have expected the return of Jesus. During my lifetime many books touting the impending return of Jesus have regularly hit the best seller list. Back in the 1970’s, when I was new at this Christian thing, Hal Lindsey made sacks of money from his bestselling book, The Late Great Planet Earth. It was certainly an attention grabber and sold about a zillion copies.

Groups have left family and friends, sold their earthly possessions, gathered on hillsides and watched the skies expectantly. All for naught as they found themselves still standing on that same hillside the next day. Most leaders of these movements have had the audacity to recalculate their calendars and announce a new return date. That is not nearly as weird as the fact that they again gather a gaggle of followers who perch themselves expectantly on another hillside and eagerly await the big happening. Some of the real joiner types even go for it a third time. But on that third attempt it is pretty difficult to attract much of a crowd.

But those hopeful for the immediate return of Jesus are not the only ones who are expectantly awaiting a savoir. Many of our congregations are. A significant number of the members of the one I am serving as an interim minister are awaiting the first (Or second or third) coming of their messiah. Unfortunately this messiah is the yet to be named choice of the Senior Pastor Search Committee. Yes, my friends, the answer to all of the church’s problems is getting a new pastor. With the coming of (as my friend Rev. Mark Garrett says) Pastor Wonderful, giving will increase, worship attendance will grow, new people will join the church and all of our problems will dissipate like a late morning fog. All will be well and we will move into the Promised Land.

There are several reasons why such thinking is irrational and untenable.

1. The history of this church and all others we know of has proven this to be untrue. If such a pastor sees the sought after results, it is usually for a very short time. We ministers call this the “Honeymoon Period.” It usually lasts six to eighteen months. Then things start to come unraveled and the criticisms and complaints begin. Soon there is a grassroots movement to fire this loser we have and start seeking the “messiah.” Many, if not most, pastorates fail to survive this period.
2. If the last pastor was not the savior of the church, what makes you think the next one will be?
3. Most churches are denial about the fact that the pastor is often not the problem that is causing the church to decline, but, instead, the unhealthy systems of how the church does financial, spiritual and relational business are killing the church.
4. A vast majority of mainline denomination churches are plateaued or declining. Does that mean that a vast majority of these churches just need a new pastor? If so, where exactly are they going to find that pastor? If the pastor we are seeking to hire is “failing” at his or her present church, what makes us believe the results will be different at our church?
5. Are our seminaries all producing class after class of inept ministers to serve our churches and thus causing the epidemic decline of church attendance and participation? If this is correct, why has the basic curriculum of our seminaries remained unchanged for over a quarter of a century? Yes, the curriculum does need to change. It would help the problem but not solve the problem. Such needed change is slow in coming to our divinity schools as change is slow in coming to our churches for the same basic reason – Institutionalism. Our schools, like our churches, have an almost fatal case of “But we have always done it this way.” Until we are willing to face the truth that what we are doing is not working and we need to do something else, we are doomed.

It is easy and comforting to believe that all our ills, problems and short comings can be blamed on one person; and that person isn’t me. It is the pastor’s fault. It is comforting but incorrect. I will be the first to admit that the pastor can be a detriment to the health and wellbeing of a church. We pastors can be so profoundly emotionally, morally and spiritually dysfunctional that what we say and do can cause great harm to the church. Our personalities can be so corrosive, negative and irritating that we run members and possible members off in droves. Our preaching can be so impractical, cerebral or boring that people can’t stand to sit through our sermons. But most churches, who describe themselves as a “family” are, in fact, a family. A dysfunctional family.

When we understanding that healthy living things grow, then it makes sense when we say that a plateaued or dying church (a non-growing church) is not a healthy church. In every dying church there are several unhealthy things going on: how we do our business; how we do relationships; what inappropriate behaviors we tolerate; attempting to follow a Christ-less mission and vision; failing to pursue the mission of the church; giving to individual ministries and interests in the church instead of giving to the church and to support the basic mission of the church; members failing to be actively engaged in the ministries of the church; a majority of members believing the only “obligation” of membership is Sunday morning attendance; individual spiritual growth is not an expectation; and the list goes on.

Hiring a new minister will not fix this. It is the church’s responsibility to get well so a pastor can lead that church where God is calling it. So, churches, unfortunately, the savior is not coming.

Copyright © 2014, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

I Thought You Knew

As I have been considering possible subjects for future sermon series I ran across the idea of a sermon series in which the pastor “comes clean” concerning his or her struggles in our faith walk and just living life. As I considered this idea I was reminded that it has been suggested that I should be honest with the congregation I serve and let them know that I don’t belong on a pedestal.  Armed with this knowledge they can then more knowledgeably weigh the content of my sermons. I really don’t mind making the announcement or preaching the sermon series. I just didn’t think that was necessary. I thought you knew.

I had no idea I was fooling anyone into thinking I am anything more than I am. I thought I was rather transparent and everyone could tell I am a normal, run of the mill guy. I, without much provocation, can shift into jerk-mode. When Nancy and I were dating and having a little spat (Meaning nuclear weapons were not being used.) she said, “You are acting like a jerk.”I replied with both humor and honesty, “Darling, this isn’t an act.” My dear friend, colleague and longtime accountability partner, Mark Garrett, is pretty good at pointing out to me that at least I am consistent; I am grumpy, opinionated and outspoken in private and in public. Hey, at least I am reliable. When I mentioned to another colleague in ministry that I attempt to be pretty straightforward about what a jerk I can be he said, “Yeah, but they think you are kidding.” Really? I can’t imagine why anyone who knows me would think that is a joke.

When I mention that I am a run of the mill guy, I mean that I am a pretty normal person. I think you know what I am talking about. I have my good days and my bad. There are times I am capable of being thoughtless, rude, selfish, and unkind. I am the kind of a guy who can get really ticked off and tell you about it. I am moody. My buddy Mark would say I shift back and forth from quiet and sullen to quieter and more sullen. I just plain don’t like to talk. If given any way around it, I will skip just about any kind of conversation. I love the internet because I can do business and communicate in writing and don’t have to talk to a living soul.

I know you ladies will find this difficult to believe but it is rare that I help out around the house. Often I don’t even put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I mean, how difficult is it to just lean over, open the door and drop a dish in? I couldn’t tell you where we keep the vacuum cleaner. I watch way too much television. I know you never do this, but often when the show I wanted to watch is over I will channel surf until if find a program I can tolerate and sit and watch that one too.

I don’t get into many arguments. Not because I am so laid back, good natured and holy. It is not that my relationships are so perfect or that I am so patient with the flaws in others. It is that since I just about refuse to talk, I don’t get into very many arguments. The key is that arguing calls for talking and I just don’t want to talk. But when an argument finally bubbles up it doesn’t take much to get me angry enough to say some pretty unkind things. It has been several decades since I got angry and beat anyone with my fists. But every once in a while I break out my Heavyweight Championship Tongue and just beat the snot out of someone. It leaves no obvious marks but the damage is real and it is ugly.

Speaking of holy, I am not particularly holy. Sometime I wish I were more holy and sometimes, when I think of some of the people I know who consider themselves holy, I am thrilled that I am not. I fail to spout Scripture at times when it is expected of me. I don’t pray enough with my family members. It has much less to do with not wanting to pray and much more to do with not wanting to talk. I have no trouble praying. I do it all of the time. But when I pray in private I just think my prayers, I don’t usually say them out loud. You see, I love to think but I don’t care to talk.

This next confession I am about to make you will find very difficult to believe. But just trust me about it. I am not romantic. I know that most people who know me are clutching their heads and screaming, “No!” But it is true. Most things that pass for romantic strike me as silly. I don’t care for chick flicks. I don’t like to dance. It seems to me that going out on a date is way more trouble than it is worth. I don’t send my wife flowers or cards nearly often enough. Though I am funny and can talk to just about anyone in public, I am quiet to the point of seeming sullen at home. If you are ever angry with me and stop speaking to me, you are not making me feel bad. Not speaking to me is like punishing a kid who hates school by kicking him out of school.

The list could go on and on. I look even worse with no clothes on. I don’t make up my bed. I read several books at a time and leave them lying all around the house. I receive multiple catalogues each week in the mail and have a very difficult time throwing any of them away. Thus, they pile up. I often get up in the middle of the night and watch television. (I am a great fan of infomercials.) Besides making me look even worse, my balding brings our household the added pleasure of stopped up the drains. Like I said, the list of my confessed shortcomings could go on and on.

So, now you know. I don’t expect you to be surprised or disappointed in me because I thought you knew. If you thought I was kidding, let me clear things up by saying that I am not. It didn’t take me very long to figure out the truth that John Ortberg used as a title for a book – Everyone Seems Normal Until You Get To Know Them. I also figured out that most people seem better before you get to know them well and most people look and act better in public than in private. I just assumed you had figured that out, too.

I thought you knew who I really am. I thought you knew.

Copyright © 2008, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

You’re Mean

Most of my life people have accused me of being mean. Which is interesting since God has called me into two very emotionally sensitive ministries; pastoral ministry and counseling. Does God have a sense of humor or what? There is a commercial out that several people have called to my attention. For some odd reason, when they view it, I come to mind. Check it out. It probably does say a lot about me because I think it is hilarious.

And I will admit to being mean. At least in my early years, it was true. As a grade school student I was afraid of people and painfully shy. My first three years of school I only spoke to my teachers and my big brother. I found that the best way to keep people at bay was to be mean to them. I didn’t have to say anything to them to keep them away because by the age of four I could glare down a goat.

As I gained a little age, it wasn’t so much that I was mean; I was just mad. About what I have no clue. Ask my older brother. I was mad all of the time. I woke up looking for a fight. If I wasn’t angry, it didn’t take much to get me there. Not only was I mean, I fought dirty and with any weapon I could lay my hands on and some were very sharp. That is probably why he didn’t tell on me to my parents when I started smoking because smoking seemed to calm me down a little. I’m sure he thought; anything to soothe the savage beast.

Then along came the junior high school years. I wasn’t particularly mean in junior high. I was too scared and confused to be anything – much less mean. Like most boys, for me junior high was a time of lying low and trying to figure out what was going on. My world was changing – rapidly. Suddenly girls became interesting and important. When I first noticed them they were mysterious and I couldn’t figure them out. (Some things haven’t changed much since junior high.) My body was growing rapidly and changing is some disturbing ways. Since the move up from grade school, school work had become more difficult with lots and lots of homework. I was aware I was lacking in some very necessary social skills to attract one of those puzzling girls I had noticed. But had no clue what they might be. My mother suggested bathing regularly but what do mothers know? So, like any intelligent boy of that age, I just shut up and stood in the corner.

Ah, then came high school. And with high school came sports. When I played football or baseball, I could be mean. In football I often did mean things. I played in the “good old days” before they started trying to make the game safe. I was so pleased when I split another player’s helmet or broke their facemask. If someone showed up on the field of play sporting a brace or a bandage I was all over it. In baseball, while my batting average never soared, I managed to develop a huge repertoire of nasty things to say to opposing players to take their attention off of the game. It is almost impossible to play good baseball when one is angry so my strategy was if you can’t out play them, irritate them into submission. Possibly the best game of my high school career was when the entire opposing team cleared the bench and, armed with bats, chased me into the locker room. I think I hit a nerve. Perhaps I hit a bunch nerves.

And then along came Jesus. When I was a college student my older brother helped me understand that Christianity is not a religious approach to understanding God but is a relationship with God made available through God’s Son, Jesus. I grabbed on to that relationship and everything about my life began to change. I saw God differently. I saw other people differently. The only thing that seemed to be the same was me. But I wasn’t. It was not long before I started realizing that I wasn’t so angry anymore. Instead of naturally being a “hater” I started becoming a “lover.” Instead of seeing people’s flaws and disliking them, my first impulse upon meeting someone new became to see what was right and good about them and like them. Weird. And people quit calling me mean.

That is until I got married and had children. My child consistently informed me that I was mean. I was mean because I forced them to do things they didn’t want to do. I didn’t let them do some of the things other kids were doing. They would tell me that I was yelling at them. That one always threw me because it was certain I had not raised my voice. Then I began to realize that what they meant was I was correcting them. After that, when they accused me of yelling at them I would tell them, “I can yell at you. I know how to yell. Would you like for me to yell at you?” Their answer was always no.

But I still occasionally hear the “you’re mean” accusation. And I hear others like me accused of being mean. And we are not. We are doing a “bad” thing. We are doing some socially unacceptable things. But we are not being mean. What we are doing is telling people the truth. In our present culture the ultimate bad thing to do is not to be nice. We have become so turned around and upside down morally and spiritually we have somehow made being real and honest a bad thing.

Don’t ever say anything that might make someone feel bad. Even if what they are doing is destructive physically, emotionally or spiritually. Especially spiritually. Someone is doing something that God has clearly pointed out as a sin. They are doing something that, for some excellent reasons, God has communicated that He doesn’t want us to do. Springing from a desire to help such a person, one points out that what they are doing is contrary to God’s word. The almost universal response is, “How dare you? You are being judgmental and mean. Tisk, tisk. (And this is my favorite part.) God wouldn’t approve of your being mean. (Mean being a code word for telling the truth.)

There are those of us who refuse to lie to people and tell them things that will make them feel better emotionally when we know that what they are doing is going to profoundly damage them emotionally, physically or spiritually. We are great believes that when Jesus said, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free,” He meant it and it was and still is the truth. We are great believers in the story of the Prodigal Son; the story about the boy who had to come to himself, had to figure out who he was, where he was and how he had gotten there before he had any chance at all of finding his way out of his self induced trauma. We believe that before you can find your way to where you are going you have to figure out where you really are. Before you can come to God, you must come to yourself; come to the place where you can be honest with and about yourself.

I have also come to the conclusion that subtle doesn’t work. So, when I speak the truth I seek to be very clear. I want to help you make some positive decisions in your life and will put a lot on the line to get that done. You and your future are so important to me that I will take a chance on offending or angering you. I did it with my children, their friends and their friends’ parents. When my children made some outrageous request and backed that request up with the authoritative statement that their friends’ parents were going to let them do it I was will to respond and say, “If your friends’ parents are going to let them do this, your friends’ parents are stupid and I am not. By the way, you are welcome to tell your friends’ parents what I said about them and have them call me.” I never received a call.

Mean? No, I am not mean. Clear? Yes. Subtle? Not even close. Willing to take a chance on you not liking me in order to help you? Every time. I guess it comes down to this. I love you too much and I have become way too nice to be anything but “mean.”

Copyright © 2010, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved