I like having a kidney. In the 20 something years I have had kidney disease, I have been conflicted. For a few years, I didn’t like having a kidney. I had to take a heavy dosage of diuretics, so I was going to the bathroom many times a day. It was nerve-wracking, time-consuming, tiresome, interruptive and just a bother. Finally, my kidneys failed to the point they needed help- and I started hemodialysis. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I got up at 5:00 am (I am NOT a morning person.) to check in at 5:45 to start dialysis. Fortunately, the staff was adorable, friendly, kind and very good at their jobs. They first inserted two of the largest needles I have ever seen into my left arm and started the dialyzer. The next four hours were spent making sure I didn’t die. The rescue squad was called often; thank goodness, never for me. The immediate result was, it left you feeling like 15 pounds of sin on a popsicle stick. The only good thing about no kidney function was that I didn’t have to stop for “potty breaks” on long road trips. My car could cover 500 miles on a tank of gas. Thus, I could drive from Memphis to home non-stop.
I clearly remember when I first appreciated my new/used kidney. They had finally taken the catheter out and I could feel when I urinated. Ahh, it was heavenly. I couldn’t help but think of a scene out of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. In the movie, two con men (Michael Caine and Steve Martin.) had teamed to bilk rich older women out of their fortunes. This clip is not only funny, but it expresses also exactly how I felt at that moment. Click here to watch the clip. All I could say was, “Thank you God” and “Thank you, Tim.”
Prayer works. Please don’t misunderstand, I know prayer works. I have seen God answer my prayers consistently during many years of my ministry. It isn't that I hadn’t been aware of God answering prayers for me - directly. First, thanks to the hundreds and hundreds of people who prayed for and continue to pray for Nancy and me. It has been wonderful and very encouraging. But the prayers I experienced being answered were my wife’s prayers. In her circle of friends, she is known as a “Prayer Warrior.” I have heard that term for years and, frankly, I don’t know what that means. But, if there is such a thing as a prayer warrior, she is one. The first instance of her prayers being answered was when my body rejected my new kidney. She first insisted that the hospital staff do something about it (And thus saved my life.) and then prayed for the best healers in the hospital to respond. Sure enough, the nurses we knew to be the best on the floor, showed up. And in short order, Dr. Cardi walked in and took over. Dr. Cardi was head of the transplant team and nearing retirement and only working part-time. The staff informed us that when he was in the hospital, he was always the smartest man there. Quickly and positively prayers were answered.
The second of many answered prayers that I was aware of is when I went into A-fib. Being a transplant patient with a very fragile immune system and susceptible to sudden turns for the worst, the staff was watching me closely. Those who know me know to watch me closely is always a good idea. Quickly, the staff gathered and did the medical version of panic. The nurse called for the cardiologist and Nancy prayed. The cardiologist showed up rather quickly because he knew this was a major problem and very difficult to treat in a patient already in such a compromised situation. He immediately took charge, took my pulse, listened to my heart for, what seemed like 10 minutes. An EKG was ordered and immediately taken – it is amazing how quickly things happen when the doctor is in the room. He read the EKG, looked at everyone and announced to everyone in the room in a rather loud voice, “Mr. McConnell does not have A-fib, he is just fine,” and marched out of the room. The next half hour was spent having every nurse on the floor taking turns listening to my heart with perplexed looks on their faces. Nancy just sat there smiling.
Hospitals are dangerous places. Always bring a friend to keep an eye on the staff and medications. The nursing staff at the hospital were fabulous but occasionally Nancy would question a medication or a quantity. She was always correct. I’m quite sure she saved me and my new/used kidney more than once. Since my autoimmune system was none existent, she took the time and energy to turn most visitors away at the door. Hospitals are wonderful places to catch something nasty.
I’m not afraid of needles. But some of the people trying to stick them in me are dangerous (incompetent). I am not what is called an easy stick. My blood pressure is low and my veins like to hide. I never share that information with the person seeking blood from me. If I do, it just psyches them up and thus they have a more difficult time drawing blood. The dangerous one’s poke around for a while during which squirm around and endure the pain. After a few too many attempts, they call in another incompetent sticker. We do another round of vein hide and seek while she mumbles, and I moan. Next, they hold a conference and announce they are calling in an expert from the lab. And I am thinking. “Gee, good idea. How about we start with her next time.” But we don’t.
Laying in bed for a few weeks is very hard on one’s body. I have heard people say, “If I could just lay in bed for a couple of weeks, I would be a happy man.” Probably not. When you got out of bed you would soon see that you, because of living like one, had become an invalid. Because of my rejection, I was hospitalized much longer than the normal transplant patient. As soon as possible, I began rehab. I had to learn how to: rollover in bed; sit up; stand up; use the potty; walk; bathe; get up from a chair; get in and out of a car; walk up and down stairs; etc. I started physical therapy in July of 2018 and I am still in therapy in March of 2019.
My daughter is an excellent nurse. Soon after the rejection, my oldest daughter, Meg, (THE NURSE) showed up and took over. Meg is accustomed to being in charge even if she doesn’t work in the facility. First, she fixed a couple of medical issues I was struggling with -BOOM! Then she studied my chart and medications and made suggestions/demands for some changes, Next, she interrogated everyone entrusted with my care like a homicide detective. I thought a couple of them were going to cry. My daughter is a bit protective of me. I love her to pieces.
I married an angel. As my father would say about people who married someone much better than they, “I married above myself.” I’m not ashamed to admit that. It is proof I can sell even a mediocre product. Good for me.
If you know her, you already know that she is smart, beautiful, hardworking, of strong character, strong-willed, fun to be with, deeply spiritual, tasteful, kind, wise and believes in people – like the weatherman, but that’s another conversation. When we suffered through my illness together, I saw a different side of her.
She was with me every moment for weeks. She watched over me 24/7. She protected me, met my every need, held me when I wept, played along with me when I hallucinated, she gave me showers, sat for hours and watched old westerns with me, walked me to the bathroom, cleaned up my messes day after day after day. One day I told her she had a new attribute: (Again from my father) she is handy as a handle. She’s my wife, my angel, and I love her.
No do-overs. Many people, including a couple of my transplant team doctors, asked if I had known how difficult this was going to be, would I do it again. That’s easy. HELL NO!!!
Copyright © 2019, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved
Bill McConnell is an Interim Minister and is a Church Transformation consultant and a Christian Leadership Coach. He is a frequent speaker at Church Transformation events. His latest book on church transformation is DEVELOPING A SIGNIFICANT CHURCH and is available at Westbow Press. He can be contacted @ bill45053@gmail.com. Connect with him on Facebook @ William T. McConnell or on Twitter @billmc45053 or visit his Amazon Author Page @ https://www.amazon.com/William-T.-McConnell/e/B001JSBRXG/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
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