Being a pragmatic realist, I am under no
delusion that my brother Bob is perfect. He has been known to lie. During our
growing up years, my parents held us to high standards. At the McConnell house
bringing home anything less than all A’s and B’s would get one grounded for the
following six week grading period. Invariably, report cards would be sent home
on a Friday and at dinner that evening Bob would be hailed as the scholar in
residence with all A’s and an occasional B. And I would be grounded. At least
that is what should have happened. Instead, Dad would ask if we had received
our report cards and Bob would look him in the eye and lie to him. “No, sir,”
he would say. “They are coming out Monday.” He lied for me so that I could have
one last weekend of fun and freedom. Since mom and dad thought Bob could do no
wrong, they believed him every time. Well, almost every time.
There was the time I put a cut out on my
mother’s Oldsmobile convertible. Dad spoiled my mother in many ways. One of
those ways was to buy her convertibles. So, as teenagers, we got to drive
mother’s big fancy convertibles. And they were fast. So, of course, I raced
them. To gain a little speed, I attached a cut out to the exhaust system with a
cap on it. When I removed the cap, it allowed the exhaust to bypass the muffler
which gave me a little more power and an awesome roaring engine. I did all of
this without mentioning the modification to my father. I was thinking that what
he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him – or me. One summer evening my father came by
and picked me up at work. On the ride home he asked me, “What is a cut out?” I
thought, “Oh, crap, I’m toast.” It seems that dad had taken the Olds in for an
oil change and the mechanic had asked him why he had put a cut out on his car.
Dad went home and asked everyone handy who had put the cut out on their
mother’s car. My brother confessed. And my father didn’t believe him for a
second. Dad told me Bob had confessed but he knew better. Even with my big
brother’s attempt at intervention, I was, again, grounded.
Bob was also one of the few people on earth
who has earned the right to speak truth into my life. Most of the time for most
of his life, Bob has been a truth teller. During the summer between my freshman
and sophomore years in college Bob and I were afforded the opportunity by our
father to take the trip of a lifetime. We bought a used Chevy station wagon
(For my younger readers – it is kind of like a van.) packed up a bunch of
camping gear, took enough money to pay for gas ($25 per week) and set off to
see America. We spent two and a half months driving and camping across the
continent. It was awesome. It was during that trip that Bob told me some truth
that changed my life. He told me that in the past year he had learned some
things I needed to know. It was, he said, very exciting news. I figured that
his exciting news was that he had finally found a decent girlfriend. I was not
amused when he told me his exciting news was that he had met Jesus. My response
to his announcement was a sarcastic “Whoopee!”
Undeterred, he went on to explain to me
that Christianity was much less about being religious and much more about
having a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. He continued by telling me
that Jesus wanted to be the Lord of my life. Instantly my defenses went up.
“I,” I told Bob, “can be the lord of my own life.” I said that in the context
of having played sports in high school; having dated some of the cutest girls
in school; was pretty popular; had been selected for membership in the only
fraternity on my college campus and was in line to be the next President of the
Student Body. I was a success and didn’t need anyone’s help; much less Jesus. But
brother Bob insisted on telling me the truth. When I told him I could run my
own life he fixed his clear blue eyes on me, looked into my soul, and said, “Oh
really. Well, how are you doing?” His question spoke into the truth of my life.
Even though I was a “success” he knew that I was completely hollow inside –
empty. Because he had the courage to speak truth to me, I was saved. Unlike
people who are saved from a life of addiction or crime or other destructive
behavior, I was saved from an ordinary life. I was saved from a life of
acquiring possessions or bouncing from one relationship to the next in an
attempt to fill the emptiness in my soul. I was saved from living several
decades of meaningless existence to live a life filled with meaning, joy,
excitement and purpose. I was saved from me. All because my brother Bob told me
the truth.
In our growing up years Bob was an amazing
brother. My parents saw him as “the good son”. But he didn’t. Bob felt that he
never measured up; up to my dad – or who he thought my dad was. Bob brought
home great grades; he was a great athlete (I still have no doubts that, with
the proper coaching, he could have been a major league pitcher.); he was
elected class President all of the way through high school; Bob was kind and
thoughtful (He told me that before he did anything he thought about how his
actions would affect our parents. I thought he was nuts.); he really was “the
good son.” But most of all he saw himself as my brother, my confidant, my protector,
my number one fan. We shared a room and sometimes fought like cats and dogs and
we loved each other. Everyone at school knew that if you picked a fight with
one of the McConnell’s, you were going to fight both of them. We drove to
school together. We double dated. We TP’ed houses together. (We did it
professionally. People paid us to TP houses.) We stayed out all night together.
We made and set off bombs together. We harassed our sisters and their dates
together. We shared clothes, friends,
adventures, sports and life in general. We lived through each other’s
heartaches together. His friend was my friend and my enemy was his enemy. We
sneaked around doing things our parents wouldn’t approve of and (as I have
mentioned) we lied for each other. We were there for each other through decades
of life. We encouraged each other in our spiritual journeys and suffered with
each other when a relationship went sour. We celebrated each other’s joys. I was thrilled when he had his first
book published and he was more excited about my first book than his. We love
and pray for each other’s children.
Brother Bob has had a profound influence on
my life. He is one of the most prominent people in my life. He did more to
change my life than he can imagine because he lied to my parents (and showed me
how much he loves me.) and because he told me the truth about myself so I could
get to know Jesus. Thanks Bob. You are the best brother ever.
Copyright © 2013, William T. McConnell, All
Rights Reserved
Bill McConnell is the
Interim Minister at Norwood Christian Church in Cincinnati, Ohio, and is a
Church Transformation consultant and a Christian Leadership Coach. He is a
frequent speaker at Church Transformation events. His latest book on church
transformation is DEVELOPING A SIGNIFICANT CHURCH and is available at Westbow Press.
He can be contacted @
bill45053@gmail.com. Connect with him on Facebook @ William T. McConnell or on Twitter @billmc45053 or visit his
Amazon Author Page @ Amazon
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