Change

For those of us who attempt to bring change to failing institutions, like the church, with as much resistance that is encountered, one might think that change is a very unpopular thing. It seems that no matter how serious, even desperate, the situation, the people involved fight tooth and toenail to keep everything as it is. The church may be barely surviving on a respirator, but most people seem to prefer the death of the institution to making the changes that may bring life and health. We humans don’t like change.

Let me clarify that: we don’t like change to happen to us or around us. We like change in others. We spend huge amounts of time and energy in seeking to implement change in others. Many married couples spend long, frustrating, infuriating years trying to bring about changes in their spouses. “If I could only get her to quit… she wouldn’t drive me nuts.“ “If he would just be more… I would be happy.” Often the things that attracted couples in the first place become their main pain. “I just love her bubbly personality,” turns into “She’s driving me nuts; she talks all the time.” “He is the strong quiet type,” becomes “I hate that he never talks to me and holds everything in.” It would be humorous if it weren’t so sad.

It has been said that men marry hoping their wives never change and women marry counting on their husbands changing. During pre-marriage counseling I put the couple through an exercise. I have them turn and face each other and tell them to take a long and careful look. I then tell them; this is the best he or she is ever going to look, behave, or smell. You both are doing the best you can now to get the other to marry you. After marriage, it is all downhill. Cynical you say? Nay, nay I say. Just an observation over many years.

Our last President ran on a platform of Hope and Change. Of course, not much changed and I have just about lost all hope. Donald Trump claimed he would bring change to America. I have been observing U. S. politics for several decades and it seems that the only real change that happens is for the worst. I wonder how long; how many experiences we will endure before we finally realize that the answers to our problems do not lie in the politicians we elect. Every election is touted as “The most important election ever.” I’m not sure how important the elections are but they seem to consistently produce the same results – the same old crap.

Changing administrations may make the Kool aid drinkers of the party in power feel better but it has little positive effect on the rest of us. It is the same old rhetoric, the same old playing the blame game, the same old lots of talk and little action.

We try many other things to bring change that have, either little effect or help block the change. For example, we religious types, upon discovering some injustice or something someone does that doesn’t fit our moral code, just love to call our gang together for a candle light vigil. I can’t think of a less effective thing to do. First of all, most people ignore such empty gestures. The people it is supposed to impact remain pleasantly unaware that the gathering happened.

One of the other things we religious change agents are prone to do is have a rally/march/sit in. Often these good ideas take a turn for the worse and become riots with brutal results. Nobody’s mind is changed. The results of such activities just serve to more deeply entrench those on both sides of the issue in their preconceived beliefs. The only result for those taking part in the march is they are deepened in their sense of self-righteousness. For those not participating in the march/rally, it is either an inconvenience or just accentuates their belief that the marchers are stupid.

I realize that what I am going to propose runs contrary to some of the most cherished beliefs of my fellow clergy and socially active church members. The morass of societal chaos and confusion; the racial strife and tension; the inequities and poverty we face will not be changed through the political process or marches and candle light vigils. The much needed and greatly desired change we seek will only come when people are changed. And to change people calls for a substantial investment of time in significant relationships. It is impossible to change people at a distance.

The decades of the War on Poverty have been an unmitigated failure because it was attempted by the government. The government is incapable of nurturing the deep relationships needed to turn around systemic poverty. Standing back at an arm’s length and hurling money at those in poverty has proven to be ineffective. Money isn’t the answer; it is just one of the tools needed. It is only through relationships that core values, ineffective and negative thought patterns, and a lifetime of poor teaching and modeling can be overcome. We all wish it were simpler and easier than that, but it is not.

The Christian community has the answer to many of our social ills. We have the spiritually, emotionally and physically healthy lifestyle that Christ calls us to. If we truly understand the Gospel, we know that it is the way to a full and meaningful life. Christians must make a commitment of time, energy and resources in meaningful ministry (Relationships) if we want to see things (People) turn around. It is a huge commitment that would dynamically impact our lives and lifestyles. We probably, on some level of consciousness, realize how profound and difficult making such a commitment would be and have opted for the easier way of investing a bit of time in shouting and writing about our unhappiness with situations we perceive as wrong and by expecting the government to fulfill our responsibility to change our world.

It is interesting, in reading the New Testament stories of the life of Jesus, just how little time and effort he spent in attempting to impact the governing powers and how much time he, instead, invested in people. The Jews of that time were ruled by the Romans and not by a government of their choosing. And the Romans were neither just nor kind. But Jesus had almost nothing to say about it. He was involved in making disciples (Changing lives.) who, in turn, could make disciples who could make disciples. Where he saw unfairness, he sought to correct it. Where he saw hungry people, he fed them. He healed the sick. He made things better. He met needs. And his mission statement is still valid and in effect. But mainly he made disciples. Perhaps we, the church, would do well to follow his example.

Copyright © 2016, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Bill McConnell is the Interim Minister at Norwood Christian Church in Cincinnati, Ohio, and is a Church Transformation consultant and a Christian Leadership Coach. He is a frequent speaker at Church Transformation events. His latest book on church transformation is DEVELOPING A SIGNIFICANT CHURCH and is available at Westbow Press.

He can be contacted @ bill45053@gmail.com. Connect with him on Facebook @ William T. McConnell or on Twitter @billmc45053 or visit his Amazon Author Page @ Amazon