Relationships and Zombies

This past week I attended my brother-in-law’s (John E. Browning) celebration of life (funeral). I was reminded that at the heart of life it is all about relationships. The basic and most important relationship is with God. Somehow we Christians have bent, folded and mutilated this simple faith into a list of rules to be followed and requirements to be met in an effort to please God and hope that he likes us and approves of us enough to let us into heaven. Even a cursory reading to the New Testament makes it obvious that Christianity is all about loving a God who loves us and calls us to love each other. Life is about loving God and loving those around us.

My brother-in-law’s life is a fine example of that truth. He certainly loved God and those around him. His life impacted many of those around him in positive and strengthening ways. He lived as an example of a Christian. Don’t get me wrong; he wasn’t prefect, but he sought to daily be the man God wanted him to be. Many people mistake claiming to be Christian is to claim to be perfect. In reality it is to claim to follow the One who is perfect on a spiritual journey of being conformed to the image of Christ. It is neither instantaneous nor easy. But it is a wonderful journey.

Because life is all about relationships, it is memorialized in memories. Sometimes those memories are just snapshots of moments in time and other memories unfold in our minds like short movies. At John’s funeral my sister asked me to speak and share some memories. I was a bit surprised at the invitation because I am known in the family for saying some things that others may not choose to say. Not quite inappropriate but certainly edgy. And there is something in me that causes me to always go for the laugh. Often I leave people both laughing and shaking their heads. But, she asked and I spoke.

John had many great qualities but I chose to speak to three of his qualities that I enjoyed the most. First was his full and infectious laugh. He had a great sense of humor, was very funny and laughed at everything. My mind when back several decades to what I believe was 1969. My sister Liz and John were in college and dating. They had come to visit us for the weekend. We were living on a farm outside of Wilmore, Kentucky, where I was attending seminary. The year before a movie, “The Night of the Living Dead”, had hit the big screens. Since money was in short supply, movies were not in the budget and we had not seen it. It was a movie about a group of people hiding from bloodthirsty zombies in a farmhouse. Stupid, right? Who believes in zombies? But it had made it to the drive-in and so was much more affordable. We all piled in the car and off we went. I look at that film now and laugh at it. But it was 1969 and movies were different back then. It scared the living begeebers out of all of us. The ride home was very quiet.

Let me take a moment to give you the lay of the land. We were living on a farm… in the country… where it is very dark at night. To get to our little four room house you drove back a quarter mile drive to the big house out front. There you parked your car and walked a couple of hundred yards back to our house. Did I mention it was very dark? And that we were all scared to death? So I parked in front of the big house, turned in my seat, offered John the house keys and suggested that he might want to go open the door for us and turn on the porch light. He just laughed at me. Never said a word… just laughed. After the laughter died down we discussed our dilemma. We came to this agreement. We would drive through the yard, park as close to the house as we could and all get out of the car at once. It must have been amusing to any zombies watching to see the four of us trying to fit through the doorway all at once. And you can laugh if you like, but I was pretty sure there was at least one zombie nearby.

John’s second outstanding attribute was his appetite. John rode a bicycle… a lot. Thus he stayed in shape and could support his ample appetite. The first time I noticed his love for food was on one of their weekend visits to the farm. With company in the house we had a very nice dinner together. My wife was a good cook and often fixed my favorite dishes. One of those favorites was corn pudding. I still love it. We sat down to dinner, and after a short blessing, I, being a gracious host, passed my beloved corn pudding to John. He gave me one of his huge smiles and proceeded to scrape half of the contents of the bowl onto his plate. I was shocked but attempted to remain pleasant and hospitable. So I said, “So, John, do you like corn pudding?” I will never forget his response. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never had any. But if I like it I’ll eat all of it and if I don’t I’ll eat it anyway.” Now that, boys and girls, is a good appetite.

The third thing I shared about John was his open and warm heart. Like most of us men, one had to scrape a little under the surface to see how kind and generous John was. I experienced it one birthday many years ago. As I mentioned, John was a bicycle rider. He rode his bicycle many miles a day to and from work. He rode in bicycle races. It warmed his heart to engage in bicycle races when he was the “old guy” in the crowd. The youngsters would eye ball him and make comments about grandpa riding a bike. And then he would smoke them in the race. Afterward he would just stand around and grin at them. He didn’t say anything. He just smiled. He would wait until he got home to laugh at them.

Needless to say, John had a great bike. John’s bike was top of the line. It was light weight with a strong frame and multiple gears. He had a tight fitting, multi colored, aerodynamic biking outfit and helmet. He took his bicycle on trips and vacations and biked wherever he went. He loved his bicycle and to ride. And he thought everyone should. So on my birthday many years ago John gave me a bicycle he had made. He had gathered a good frame, brakes, gears, wheels, tires, cables and handlebars and all the needed nuts and bolts and hand built me a bicycle. It was beautiful and it was super cool. I couldn’t believe it. John had been that thoughtful and had gone to a huge amount of work and trouble to build a bike for me. He didn’t just go out and buy me a bike… he hand built me one. I was touched and amazed. What a kind hearted and thoughtful man he was.

To say he will be missed is the understatement and understatements.

Copyright © 2015, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Bill McConnell is Senior Minister at Lindenwood Christian Church in Memphis, Tennessee and is a Church Transformation consultant and a Christian Leadership Coach. He is a frequent speaker at Church Transformation events. His latest book on church transformation is DEVELOPING A SIGNIFICANT CHURCH and is available at Westbow Press.

He can be contacted @ bill45053@gmail.com. Connect with him on Facebook @ William T. McConnell or on Twitter @billmc45053 or visit his Amazon Author Page @ Amazon