Angry

I have been at my church long enough that people are starting to talk to me. It always takes a few months before they get to know me and trust me enough to start to really talk to me. These conversations are always interesting and eye opening experiences. My favorite part of ministry is one-on-one time with my people. I love talking with people about things that really matter.

 

 Over the course of a week it is not unusual for me to hear several stories. Most stories that people tell the preacher are stories of heartache, broken promises, unfulfilled dreams and relationships gone bad. They are rarely happy stories; I don’t hear a lot of fairy tales filled with magic, pixy dust, singing animals and happily ever after’s. Some folks do insist on telling the preacher every religion related joke they hear. But, generally speaking, I would rather hear the sad stories. Because they are the real stories of our real lives.

 

 The sad stories tell of the times in our lives when “the rubber meets the road.” These are stories of the important events of life. They tell of when life gets difficult and we have the chances and choices to do something of meaning – make decisions that will count for something. It is during the difficult times that we can truly be people of faith; people who turn to God for direction, strength, courage and sometimes solace. Often God is seen by both believers and unbelievers as a giant Valium™, something to numb us as we struggle through the tough times. I see God more as an energy drink. He doesn’t want to numb us down and carry us through the hard times; He wants to strengthen and energize us to deal with and walk through the difficulties of life. He will “walk with us through the valley… “

 

 I am a great believer in facing and dealing with the difficulties of life as they come. The end result is usually much more positive and I almost always come out of the situation in much better emotional and spiritual shape. I have come to this belief by NOT dealing with the challenging times in my past; by procrastinating, sidestepping, denying, hiding and backing away. Those actions (or inactions) universally brought very poor results – both to the problem and to my emotional and spiritual health. Being basically a pragmatist, I decided that since what I was doing wasn’t working, I would do something else. Some people believe I am too upfront and abrupt, but I have found that doing otherwise doesn’t really work for me. And I really don’t believe it works for others.

 

 Another thing I have noticed about people with unresolved past difficulties is that they tend to be generally angry… angry about just about everything. I am reminded of the cartoonist, Al Capp, who syndicated the comic strip, “Li’l Abner”. While working at the local radio station (WEKY in Richmond, Kentucky) I had the privilege of interviewing him. I was in college at the time, it was the 60’s, and we college students were raising our voices, marching, and sitting-in about every wrong we thought needed to be righted. Mr. Capp was an amazingly intelligent, funny guy. At that time his comic strip featured the group he called S.W.I.N.E. – Students Wildly Indignant about Nearly Everything. Even though I knew he was talking about me (Making fun of me, really.), I thought it was hilarious.

 

 I have friends who would qualify for membership in S.W.I.N.E. today. Just about everything makes them mad. They rarely leave a meeting or a conversation without being angry. Let me clarify what I mean by angry. When someone says, “My feelings are hurt,” they are angry. When they say they are disappointed; they are angry. When they feel attacked, they are angry. Sad is often mad in disguise. Depression is often repressed anger. You see, for most people, (especially Christians) anger is seen as a sin; a sign of weakness; a sign that something is wrong with them. So we rename it so it doesn’t sound so bad. But it is still anger. By the way, anger can be good. That is another topic for another time.

 

 Churches are filled with lots of angry people. We need to face that fact and deal with our anger. It is time to quit blaming others for our feelings (our anger) and own it and work through it. I encourage us to do this for a couple of reasons. One is for our own mental and spiritual health. When our anger has such control, we are incapable of forming and maintaining healthy, happy relationships. We can’t be all that we could be – all that God is calling us to be – if we are under the rule of anger. An angry life is miserable life and Jesus didn’t promise that He would give us a miserable life, He promised a full and meaningful life.

 

The other reason I would like to see our anger replaced with peace is this: How do we ever expect God’s Holy Spirit to ever flow through our church with power and healing and forgiveness and miracles with all of our anger in the way. My prayer is: “God, deliver me from any anger that could be standing in the way of Your Spirit flowing and Your will being done.” Please pray with me.

 

Copyright © 2012, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved