It's Family

This week I spent part of the week in Tennessee at the annual McConnell Family Reunion.

On their surface, family reunions sound like a good idea. Like many, our family is quite scattered. I have a sister in Kentucky, a sister in northern Illinois, a sister in western North Carolina, a brother in eastern North Carolina and a brother in Kansas. We have children living in several different states as far away as Seattle. Without a set place and a set date there is no telling when we would see each other.

I love my family. They are great people. But going to a family reunion can be a bit unnerving. It is a humbling and yet frightening experience to spend a few days just staring into one’s gene pool. I could tell by some of the looks I was getting from some of my kinfolk that they were not finding observing me all that encouraging, either. Several of my nephews stared at my balding head and then reflexively ran their fingers through their hair. Several of my relatives patted their round bellies and then glared accusingly at me. Like their chubbiness was my fault. And there were a zillion nameless children all over the place. Well, they did have names but I sure couldn’t remember any of them. One family has 7 children under the age of 10. I remembered back to the days when we had 4 under the age of six and wept. These people need a new hobby. Perhaps if the family got together more often to observe the pool they are dipping their toes in, there might be fewer little McConnell’s running around the room making noise and being disruptive while the adults are trying to do important things such as play Trivial Pursuit™ and Yahtzee™.

Again I tell you that I love my family and enjoy immensely getting together with them. No matter what the subject, the conversation is always lively and fun. They are some of the wittiest, most knowledgeable and just plain funny people I have ever met. I have a couple of sisters who are the greatest story tellers in the country. They are so good we ask them to tell the same stories again and again. And at each family gathering they come equipped with new stories to tell. Some of what we share is true but all of it is entertaining. When we get to talking, a simple trip to Wal-Mart ™ can become an epic journey filled with adventure, interesting characters and lots of laughs. These are stories of everyday happenings told from the perspective of people who see the humor in most everything. While truth may be good, we never let it stand in the way of a good story.

At this reunion, like most others, we will spend hours sitting in small clusters catching up on family news, important and unimportant happenings, sharing stories and laughing until our sides hurt. We will share the victories and defeats that have come to pass in our families. We tell of the joys, expected and unexpected, that have invaded and brightened our lives. We will commiserate over the sadness and loss we each have suffered. Some of those losses are not new. They are losses that are taking years to weave into the fabric of our lives before we can let them go. We speak fondly of our now departed parents. And we laugh.

Our conversations are like the ones taking place in families every day. None of this is unexpected. If you are an active and engaged member of the human race you know that life can be difficult; others lives are never exactly as they seem; each person is good at some aspects of life and pretty poor at others. If you hang around someone long enough you will be exposed to their weakness as well as their strengths. People and life are at times extremely disappointing. That is just the way it is. We call it life.

In my family, one of the things we don’t spend a lot of time discussing is each other’s imperfections. We know they are there. We know what they are. Oh, sure, sometimes we make light of our imperfections. That is part of having a good sense of humor. But we don’t need to be reminded or remind each other. Most of the weaknesses are not all that obvious. But we know they are there. We don’t have to announce them, proclaim them or draw attention to them. They are there and we know it. We just know that. Everyone is really good at some things. And everyone really stinks at some other things. And everyone is bad at everything sometimes. Me, too.

But it is a great family. I love them and like them and love being with them. They remind me of my church family. Flawed but loved and treasured. I realize I am one blessed person.

Copyright © 2012, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved