I watch and listen with "interest" as the gay marriage debate heats up again. The resurgence of interest has to do with the recent vote in North Carolina and the recent comments on the subject by President Obama.
Many of my friends and colleagues have expressed how impressed they are that President Obama finally made a "courageous" public stand for gay marriage. I am not so impressed. I find it interesting that he waited until the polls showed that the majority of Americans are in favor of gay marriage. That doesn't look courageous to me. That looks politically self-serving. And he is, after all, a politician, not a courageous leader. Politicians make decisions based on popular opinion – what will net the most votes – while leaders make decisions based on beliefs, convictions and character. Republicans flip-flop. Democrats evolve. They are all politicians and we would do well to quit expecting anything better of them and quit trying to defend those we support and act like they are wonderful, courageous leaders. I love the way politicians are always "fighting" for me. Who, exactly, are they fighting? I guess it is those bad people in the other party.
I also find it interesting to note that those who are pro-gay marriage are so morally incensed it those who are anti-gay marriage (and vice-versa). They are aghast that these heartless people could possibly take such a stand. To oppose gay marriage is mean, hateful and harmful. The idea that one would take a stand on an issue based on moral convictions seems difficult for them to grasp if that moral stance is different than theirs. To the pro-gay marriage lobby, it seems weird and antiquated to believe that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. It makes no sense. The anti-gay marriage group generally agrees that it is ungodly for people of the same sex to have sexual relations and be married. And they think those who disagree with them are ungodly. There seems to be no grace for someone who has a different opinion or moral base.
Before I go further with these thoughts, let me admit something about this issue. I don't care. Two guys or two women want to get married? Go for it. I guess I lean a bit toward the libertarian school of thought. My approach is summed up in the idea that a great government is a government that will leave me alone and I'll leave you alone – butt out of my business and I'll butt out of yours. Also, I don't think the questions of who can marry who is a question to be answered in the political arena. Marriage is not a legal issue; it is a spiritual/church thing so leave it there. If you want a same sex marriage there is no doubt you can find a church that will accommodate you. How about the government butt out and take the political football away from the politicians and the special interest groups that are less interested in gay and lesbians marrying and more interested in gay and lesbian votes.
The pollsters knowingly point out the fact that a majority of those over the age of 40 are against gay marriage and a majority of those under age 40 are for it. Isn't that interesting? Could it have something to do with how we of different generations have been taught to make decisions and ascertain the moral thing to do? Older folks tend to see the Scriptures as their moral guide. If the Bible says something is wrong, it is wrong. Even with the help of theologians the past several decades that have tried to help these old folks realize that the Bible is just a book of stories and has no moral authority in their lives by folding and mutilating the scriptures in order to make them say what they want them to say. Unfortunately for them, the theologians haven't really gotten much traction with the average older church going believer. They are an ignorant lot, you know. So, these old timers are stuck believing the outdated morals they find in the Bible.
The younger folks, having heard a completely different story all of their lives, are not saddled with the same baggage as their elders. They have different baggage. Since day one, in both public school and Sunday school, they have been taught that the Bible is not to be taken at face value. People of faith who do are to be pitied or ridiculed. They were taught to worship at the altar of science. Their philosophical foundation was in humanism. (Those are fighting words to most of them.) They have fallen victim to what I call "The Emperor Has No Clothes" syndrome. By that I mean that they were taught something in school and coerced into accepting those teaching by the spoken or unspoken pressure that it is okay to not believe or agree with what was taught, but if you don't believe it you are dumb. Who wants to seem dumb? Who want to be dumb? So, of course what your teachers and professors tell you is true. After all, they have been to school for a long time. They have advanced degrees. And they had teachers do the same thing to them. For decades I have been listening to young people pompously regurgitate the humanist line of thinking they have been taught as if they had thought it up themselves – that it was new with them – that they were profound thinkers blazing new trails into the future.
Thus, robbed of having the Scriptures as a moral foundation and compass, they are "free" to find their own way. Moral judgments and life choices are based on what? When I was a young person we were told, "If it feels good do it." If I think it is right, it is right? If you think it is wrong, that is just your opinion. Wow, that is an amazingly egotistical way to decide right and wrong. We set ourselves as individuals as ultimate authority. On the issue of gay marriage I hear this thought all the time – "I have friends who are gay, and they are nice and I like them so gay marriage must be a good idea." The President says that was how he reached his conclusion. In his "coming out" interview he said, "I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or Marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don't Ask Don't Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I've just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married."
How about the "be nice" approach? The idea here is, that if anyone is offended by what I say or think, I must take it back, agree with them, because the worst thing you can be is unkind. Not nice is the ultimate sin in the morality of the under 40 set.
So, let me weigh in again on the gay marriage debate. I DON'T CARE. If it is right or it is wrong, I'll let God sort that out. You don't answer to me. But, whether you believe it or not, I am betting the farm on that idea that the time will come when we will answer to God. On that day, I am less concerned about gay marriage being unacceptable and more concerned about my crappy attitude being a problem.
Copyright 2012, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved
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