I am beginning to feel a bit like Andy Rooney. About the only things I want to talk about or write about lately are things that irritate me.
Here is something that has been bugging me for years. We have forgotten how to have a civil conversation about something we disagree about. I am not the first person to notice this. Several blogs are written every day addressing this problem/phenomenon. It is most noticeable in the field of politics. Politicians and pundits speak from predetermined talking points, talking loudly over the top of anyone who dares disagree with them, and if they are unable to answer the position of the opposition, they attempt to belittle those who hold a different viewpoint.
All of those things irritate me. But what really angers me is the way we attempt to "label" someone and thus discount their argument. Many of these labels are stereotypical, negative, undeserved and just plain hateful. What bothers me most is that Christians are some of the people who are most often guilty of this behavior. They would not consider their labeling of others to be narrow-minded, negative and hurtful because they are just so damned sure they are right, righteous and holy. If a person has a moral stance that runs contrary to what I believe, they are a fair target for the label game. They are deserving of whatever label I can affix to them because they are so wrong. Labeling them shows them up for the unrighteous bastards they are. Labeling them also releases me from any responsibility for listening to what they might have to say, to consider them as a real and possibly rational human being who just has a different understanding and position than I, and having to even consider the possibility that I might be wrong. I couldn't be wrong; it is what I think and I am intellectually and morally superior to all who would disagree with me. (For those of you not used to reading my stuff – that was sarcasm. If you can label me "sarcastic", you can discount everything I say.)
And here is the one oft used label that really sets me off – homophobic. I will readily admit that there are boatloads of people in the United States of America who hate homosexuals. Their hatred is irrational, unchristian, unhelpful, and hurtful and sometimes leads to horribly violent acts. I have met some people like that. But they are few and far between. What gets me is that if one believes that homosexual behavior is immoral and, in fact, believes that it runs contrary to the teaching of Scriptures, the minds of my open-minded liberal brethren immediately snap shut and they label these "offensive people" homophobic. That behavior is not only unhealthy to the discussion, it is just plain stupid.
Let's be consistent with this approach. I believe with my whole heart that abusing one's spouse is wrong. Does that make me an abuseaphobic? I believe that drinking until one loses control of one's self physically and emotionally is just plain wrong. Am I a drunkaphobic? I believe that divorce is not what God wants for us. In fact that Bible I read says that "God hates divorce". Have I become a divorceaphobic? And since I am divorced, does that mean that I hate myself? I could go on, and any one reading this will say that my examples are ridiculous. Of course they are. But calling anyone who has a moral stance against homosexual activity homophobic is also ridiculous. It is just done so often that it has become accepted as rational. It is not. I have many great Christian friends on both sides of that (and other) issues who are not hateful people. I know scores of people who believe homosexual activity is ungodly and yet love homosexuals. And I don't mean they love them as a group from afar. They deeply love close friends and relatives who are gay.
Could this dilemma be connected to the fact that in our present culture we have somehow come to believe that if you love someone you have to approve of everything they do? This is a rather widespread and silly notion. We are called to love one another, not approve of one another. Anyone who has had children knows you can completely love someone while not approving of what they do.
It is like the movement in my church denomination to be "An Open and Affirming" Congregation. That is some of our religious speak for; gay, lesbian and transgender people are welcome. Like many things we do, I think it is well motivated but not well thought out. Certainly, if you are gay, you are welcome in any church I would be a part of. Everyone is welcome. Even I am welcome. But do I approve of your lifestyle. Probably not. I don't even approve of parts of my lifestyle. There are things I do that are not pleasing to God and certainly fail to bring glory to God. And you are welcome to prove me wrong, but I believe it to be a sure bet there are things you are doing that cause God pain and embarrassment. So, give me a break – I won't pretend you should affirm my lifestyle and you don't demand that I affirm yours.
Let's just get together, love each other, have some rational, label-less conversations, and help each other get our lifestyles closer to what God has in mind. If we do a good job at that perhaps others will label us – Christian. I could happen.
Copyright © William T. McConnell, 2012, All Rights Reserved
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