The Rack

I am reposting a blog I published a few weeks ago because I have found more information and a copy of the commercial I had been looking for on YouTube.

Let me admit something right from the start. I am not working at the moment (Also known as unemployed.) and am having a difficult time adjusting to not going to work every day. Working long hours almost every day for 40 years can become habit forming. Without work to do I fill my days reading, writing and watching television. Thank God the Cincinnati Reds are interesting to watch this year. That team may be my salvation.

As you will soon see, I am watching waaaay too much television. I am watching all kinds of shows on all kinds of channels at all times of the day and night. I must agree with Pink Floyd who observed something to the effect that there are a lot of channels showing a lot of sh.., er, stuff. There are a few channels that I tune to the most – Discovery, National Geographic, History Channel, the Military Channel and the SyFy Channel. I have an undergraduate degree with a minor in history so I am figuring that about four more hours of watching programming about WWII and I should be set for a Masters Degree. I have learned the skills to survive in any part of the world; I can name the most important airplanes used by our military over the past half century; I am pretty sure I could qualify to work on an Alaskan crab boat as long as I don’t have to work for Captain Sig; I am totally convinced that our government is covering up evidence of alien landings and I am certain that I see ghosts on a regular basis and have started listening to old sermons to see if I can find any EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomenon).

With a lot to think about and lots of decisions to make, I find it difficult to sleep. Thus I am often up watching TV in the middle of the night. My observation is that they do not save the best programs for 3:00 a.m. Most of the movies “star” people I have never heard of and, though I was a fan of Cheers, the third time around the humor looses a bit of its punch. At least, in my opinion. They also don’t pull out all stops to show the high quality commercials at 0’ dark thirty in the morning. Most of them are infomercials. No matter what the product, they all seem to feature the same spokespersons.

I am a bit of a fan of commercials. The commercials are often the most entertaining part of the programs. Okay, most commercials are pretty lame. But some companies have managed to find awesome advertizing agencies that make great commercial. The Geico® commercials are generally pretty good. My favorite is the one that asks, “Does a former Drill Sergeant make a terrible therapist?” Watch it here. For some odd reason several of the folks that I have counseled have mentioned that the commercial reminds them of me. Go figure. I also love the talking baby E-Trade commercials. I love this one and this one. You have to admit, these are hilarious. See, I was right. The commercials are the best part of television.

Several people have asked why I have lost so much weight the past few months. It is not the diet. It is not an exercise regimen. It is from watching late night TV. Just about the only thing on at 3:00 in the morning are commercials for diet programs and infomercials for exercise equipment. That and commercials for bras for full figured people. My theory is that my weight loss is due to my viewing preferences. The satisfied customers featured on the commercials claim that if I would only purchase the right diet plan/book or sign up for the correct food plan or if I will invest in some stomach surgery or if I will spend 60 days doing the latest exercise program I will lose between 10 and 100 pounds. I lost 35 pounds by just watching the commercials. Perhaps I should make an infomercial for my sit on your butt and watch TV diet plan.

My favorite exercise program is one called Insanity®. What highly paid consultant chose that name? From my life perspective it makes sense to call any exercise program insanity. I still clearly remember summer football two-a-day practices. That was insanity. About two days into the program you learned to not eat in the morning before practice or you might throw up. Eat a big lunch so that some stomach content was available to chuck on the ground during afternoon drills. By the time you got home in the evening you were so tired you skipped supper and went to bed. Then it was up early the next morning to repeat the cycle. That was insanity. By the way, it did cause weight loss.

There are bunches of exercise machines on the market. There are exercise machines that will tighten your abs, the long time favorite Bow-Flex®, a big ball to roll around on, bars to hang on a door frame for pull-ups, saucers for sit-ups, free weights, rowing machines, treadmills, the Stair Master® which gives you a couple of steps to walk up and down (we have built in steps at our house so we weren’t interested), shake weights that vibrate your arms as you lift them, things to enhance your abs and your buns at the same time and the list can go on and on. I am often impressed at the simplicity of these exercise tools and the stupidity of the thousands of people who would purchase them.

But a new product has hit the market that surpasses all the competition. It is called “The Rack”TM. Today I finally found some footage of the commercial on YouTube. Check it out here. You will see why the commercial for this new exercise/weight loss tool that has caught my eye. It is simple and the commercial promises some amazing results. I love how the commercial starts with footage of a gorgeous guy with an amazing body and the announcer asking, “Would you like a body like this.” Frankly, I’m not terribly interested but I bet my wife would. (Wink, wink.) But the best thing about it, the thing that has just blown me away, is that I have seen these exercise machines for decades being used by some of the more elderly of my friends. They sent one of these things home with me from the hospital following my knee surgery. The commercial calls it a great exercise tool. One of my friends calls her’s a walker. I swear to you. In these infomercials they are selling high strength, heavy duty, and foldable walkers as the latest in exercise equipment. After the shock wore off and I stopped laughing I couldn’t help thinking, “Why didn’t I think of that?” I am too logical, perhaps.

Copyright © 2011, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved