Mommy Dearest

I am not sure why, but it seems that this week, the week before Mother's Day, I have been reminded that Mother's Day is coming up more than I ever have… more than even when my own mother was still alive. Most of the reminders have come from fellow preachers who wonder what we are going to do to honor mothers on their special day. In a word – nothing.

At our church we are saying a special welcome to the mothers present. We have designed and are using a special Mother's Day Welcome countdown before worship. But really, we are doing basically nothing for Mother's Day. We are doing nothing for several different reasons. First reason, Mother's Day is neither a national holiday nor a church holiday. It is a "sell more greeting cards" holiday. (Yeah, yeah, I know. I am being mean and cynical. Just remember that one person's cynical is another person's realistic.) It gets plenty of play in the secular world and really doesn't need a boost from the church to be a big deal. Second reason, for several years I preached about mothers on Mother's Day and every year was criticized for what I had to say. Some years I wasn't nearly sappy enough and didn't say enough wonderful things because "My mother was an angel and deserved better than that." Some years I was quietly told "Your sermon really hurt me. My mother was a horrible person and if you had known her you never would have said those nice things about mothers." I have chosen to instead just shut up on the subject and take flak for what I didn't say.

Mothers are people and, like people in general, some are good at being a mother and some are not. Being female and having a baby does not magically make one into a wonderful mother. For some it seems to just come naturally and for others it is something they work themselves into. Others never quite get the hang of it and that is not a sin. Some mothers I have met have looked the job over and made a clear and conscious decision that it is not for them. We have so managed to mythologize motherhood that the reality of it seems to elude many women rearing children. Let's face it… motherhood is difficult and it is not for everyone.

My mother was an interesting mother. She did a pretty good job at the mother gig. She fed us some awesome meals. (She was a Home Economics major in college.)She was known to occasionally make us clothes. She kept us in clean clothes until we were old enough to perform that task for ourselves. She kept the house relatively clean. And she encouraged us to do several things such as: get an education; be involved in athletics; clean our rooms; learn how to cook, clean and do laundry; not drink. She allowed us to do several things such as: pick our own friends and consistently have those friends hang out at our house; pick out our own clothes; learn to carry on a conversation; work out our own problems; have some fun without standing over us every second; get a job; drive her fancy car; reap the results of our poor decisions.

My mother was far from perfect. But aren't we all. She did a bunch of things right and she did a bunch of things wrong. But she gave it her best shot. And for that I say, "Thanks Mom. Happy Mother's Day."

Copyright © 2010, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved