A couple of days ago I made a trip to Louisville to join a couple of my children and a grand daughter for a birthday celebration dinner. A great time was had by all. It is hard for me to believe that I have a grand daughter that is a senior in high school. Why is it that my children are aging but I am not? Denial? I don’t know what you are talking about.
As much as I enjoy being with family, the high point of this particular visit wasn’t family time but friend time. Since I was going to be in the area I thought it would be a great time to have coffee with a high school friend that I had re-connected with through the internet. Eddie and I had not seen each other since 1964.
Forty-four years is a long time and much damage can be done to a human body in that amount of time. Thank goodness we had both posted pictures of ourselves on Myspace or we would never have recognized each other. We had e-mailed back and forth enough for me to know that Eddie is single, living alone, retired and a recovering alcoholic. And that is about all I knew.
Eddie and I went to high school together. We didn’t know each other well but we had shared some good times. What I remembered best about him was his car. It was a tiny Nash Rambler that was fun to ride in. I have a clear memory of cramming the car full of boys (It was so small that it didn’t take many.) and zipping down Grinstead Drive. As the street neared downtown, Grinstead has some sweeping curves and on the left hand side of the road stood the high brick walls of Cave Hill Cemetery. Cave Hill Cemetery was and is THE PLACE to be buried in Louisville. Like that makes any difference to the people buried there. Anyway, I digress. What did you expect on this jaunt down memory lane? We loaded up Eddie’s car with a bunch of loaded high school boys and experimented to see if we could negotiate Grinstead Drive by leaning instead of steering. Perhaps you are not surprised to learn that, unlike a motorcycle, leaning failed to steer the car. Eddie did grab the wheel just before we plowed into the cemetery wall, brought an abrupt halt to some teenaged boy thinking gone awry and saved our hides.
Around 2:15 I picked Eddie up at his place. He had broken his foot and couldn’t drive. He lives in a small apartment that fully meets his needs. It looks like a place that is home to a single guy. His directions were perfect so I had no trouble finding a place that could be difficult to find. We headed out to one of the local coffee shops. When we got there we ran into a young man Eddie knows from AA. He told me, and I believed him, that he rarely goes anywhere that he doesn’t see someone he knows. My oldest son had lived in Louisville less than a year before he met Eddie. He is a friendly guy – Eddie, not my son. Unfortunately, my son is a chip off the old block and is not extremely outgoing.
Anyway, we got our coffee, pulled up a couple of chairs and started our journey through 40 plus years of catching up. Eddie went first and the time flew by. He told me about the schools he had attended, the places he had lived, a marriage that came and went, businesses that came and went, friends that came and went, jobs that came and went. Like most of us with some age on us, most of the things and people in our lives have come and gone. Not much sticks. He mentioned several people I used to know, several people I should have known and some people I am pretty sure I have never heard of.
It is an interesting exercise, attempting to sum up one’s life in less than an hour. Eddie did a great job of it. He spent the bulk of the time sharing about the effects alcohol had on his life and about how long it had taken him to come to the point to realize that drinking controlled him and the results were not all that good. It was riveting to hear him tell of the events and one event in particular that moved him to quit drinking and to seek sobriety through Alcoholics Anonymous. I would love to tell you that story but that is Eddie’s story and his to share, not mine. My friend certainly went through some very difficult times and I could feel the emotional bruises as he told his story. It was powerful to hear and see how what life had brought to Eddie had shaped him. As difficult as his life had been, filled with some good days and lots of bad days and disappointments and disappointing people, I sensed that on the day we set sharing a cup of coffee, all was well with him. So I asked, “How is life now-a-days.” His answer washed over me and spoke into my heart.
When he shared his present day life, I was knocked out. All I could think was, “Eddie gets it.” I preach it week after week to a bunch of successful, comfortable, sweet, well meaning, religious, yet clueless people who look back at me with blank stares that just shout, “I wonder what in the world this guy is talking about.” Good church people. Did I mention that Eddie doesn’t attend church and doesn’t have much time for churchy people?
At our church we talk about simplifying our lives. We talk about focusing on God. We talk about seeing God and following God as the central issue of our lives. We talk about being different than those who don’t claim to know God and claim to be seeking to be disciples of Christ. We talk about putting people and relationships ahead of money and stuff. We talk about investing our time in others, making time for the people in our lives, taking control of our schedules and giving those schedules over to God. We talk about living sanely in this insane, materialistic culture. We talk about defining our lives, not by success as the culture defines, but, instead living lives of significance. We talk about. Boy, do we talk about it. But little seems to change.
To be sure I got it right, I asked Eddie to write down what he told me over coffee of what his life is like now. This is what he said. “I like to walk to the Jasmine bakery, a Serbian Store about a mile from me, to get fresh baked loaves of white Serbian bread. On the way there and back I keep my eyes peeled for washers or nuts or bolts or good wood screws lying in the roadway. They really come in handy when I do a project, especially when I am doing one gratis because it keeps the costs down. So everyday is a great day if I am sober. If have some fresh bread to eat and if I find a washer, that just makes it a better day. Everyday when I get up I thank God for keeping me sober and I ask Him to help me stay sober today and help me live my life His way because my way doesn't work. I also ask Him to help me reach out to another alcoholic or someone less fortunate than me – for they are legion. I try to live my life one day at a time, and each day as a new adventure. That allows me to stay in the day and devote my day to reaching out to others and maximizing my service to God.”
Eddie gets it! How he got to where he is was a difficult journey. As bad as it sometimes was, I am sure he would tell you that it was worth it. So, what can I learn from my friend that I can apply in my calling to help my congregation get it. Perhaps I should take them all out for a drink.
Copyright © 2008, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved
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