With the help of Mapquest, I managed to make a 9 hour and 40 minute drive to Raleigh, North Carolina, into a 12 hour “stay-awake-athon.” My computer generated maps led me into parts of the US that I didn’t know existed. From Ohio I drove through part of Eastern Kentucky, into the mountains of West Virginia, down into Virginia and finally into North Carolina. I drove through some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. At least the parts I had my eyes open for were beautiful. Why my sick, barely functioning kidneys chose that day to spring to life, I will never know. What I do know is that there is not a rest area between Harrison and Raleigh and several restaurants in between that I didn’t stop to check out their facilities.
For the return trip I deserted Mapquest and turned instead to my trusty GPS device for directions home. I assumed the trip would be shorter. My bad. This drive was 13 hours long. And I do mean long. Following the directions of my GPS was fun. The danged thing got stuck twice. When I stopped in a small town for a potty break (Yes, the kidneys were rumbling along at full speed again. I think they like my car. If I ever need dialysis, instead I believe I will just drive around in my Honda for a few hours three times each week.) my GPS must have fallen in love with the place because after I got back on the road again it insisted that I was still there. After resetting it we got back on our way. Then, in southern Ohio, it became unhappy with me. Even though I was obediently following every instruction, it started insisting that I make a legal U turn as soon as possible. I did and went back to the place where we got crossways with each other and resumed the trip. It wasn’t long before it was again “Recalculating your route,” and insisting that I make a legal U turn. Again I followed instructions. Again all was well for a few minutes. And, again, she (It has a female voice.) started insisting that I turn around. Did you know those GPS devices have an off button? It didn’t seem to know that. But I did. I drove the rest of the way home following the sun. I saw some beautiful country and nobody was nagging me to turn around. Life was good.
The reason I drove all of the way to Raleigh, North Carolina, was to see family. Yes, dear friends, I just spent the past week at a family reunion. On their surface, family reunions sound like a good idea. Like many, our family is quite scattered. I have a sister in Kentucky, a sister in northern Illinois, a sister in western North Carolina, a brother in eastern North Carolina and a brother in Kansas. We have children living in several different states as far away as Seattle. Without a set place and a set date there is no telling when we would see each other. Since my older brother is ill and has a difficult time traveling, we decided to meet this year just a mile or so from where he lives.
I love my family. They are great people. But going to a family reunion can be a bit unnerving. It is a humbling and yet frightening experience to spend a few days just staring into one’s gene pool. I could tell by some of the looks I was getting from some of my kinfolk that they were not finding observing me all that encouraging, either. Several of my nephews stared at my balding head and then reflexively ran their fingers through their hair. Several of my relatives patted their round bellies and then glared accusingly at me. Like their chubbiness was my fault. And there were a zillion nameless children all over the place. Well, they did have names but I sure couldn’t remember any of them. One family has 6 children under the age of 10. I remembered back to the days when we had 4 under the age of six and wept. These people need a new hobby. Perhaps if the family got together more often to observe the pool they might be dipping their toes in, there might be fewer little McConnell’s running around the room making noise and being disruptive while the adults are trying to do important things such as play “Trivial Pursuit” and “Yahtzee.”
Again I tell you that I love my family and enjoy immensely getting together with them. No matter what the subject, the conversation is always lively and fun. They are some of the wittiest, most knowledgeable and just plain funny people I have ever met. I have a couple of sisters who are the greatest story tellers in the country. They are so good we ask them to tell the same stories again and again. And at each family gathering they come equipped with new stories to tell. These are stories of everyday happenings told from the perspective of people who see the humor in most everything. At this reunion, like most others, we spent hours sitting in small clusters catching up on family news, important and unimportant happenings, sharing stories and laughing until our sides hurt. We shared the victories and defeats that have come to pass in our families. We tell of the joys, expected and unexpected, that have invaded and brightened our lives. We commiserate over the sadness and loss we each have suffered. Some of those losses are not new. They are losses that are taking years to weave into the fabric of our lives before we can let them go. We speak fondly of our now departed parents. And we laugh.
Our conversations are like the ones taking place in families every day. None of this is unexpected. If you are an active and engaged member of the human race you know that life can be difficult; others lives are never exactly as they seem; each person is good at some aspects of life and pretty poor at others. If you hang around someone long enough you will be exposed to their weakness as well as their strengths. People and life are at times extremely disappointing. That is just the way it is. We call it life.
In my family, one of the things we don’t spend a lot of time discussing is each other’s imperfections. We know they are there. We know what they are. Oh, sure, sometimes we make light of our imperfections. That is part of having a good sense of humor. But we don’t need to be reminded or remind each other. Most of the weaknesses are not all that obvious. But we know they are there. We don’t have to announce them, proclaim them or draw attention to them. They are there and we know it. We just know that. Everyone is really good at some things. And everyone really stinks at some other things. And everyone is bad at everything sometimes. Me, too.
But it is a great family. I love them and like them and love being with them. I realize I am one blessed person.
Being with them was worth the drive.
Copyright © William T. McConnell, 2008, All Rights Reserved
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