Lives of Significance

Stop?

2012-02-17T11:14:00.000-05:00

I am back living in Iowa after being away for 30+ years. Things change in 30 years. I know that I have. And most of those changes have not been for the good. I do know a bit more about “doing church” than I did 30 years ago and I am much more comfortable in my own skin now. But there are several parts of my body that have not weathered the years all that well.

Many things have certainly changed in Iowa since I have been away. But much is the same. The people are still some of the best people in the world. They are (generally) real and down to earth; possessing a great sense of humor and are fun to be with; smart and hard working; plain spoken and honest. I really like these people.

I have noticed that there are not nearly as many gravel country roads. And I don’t miss those. No doubt this winter is not typical, but it is February and none of the rivers are frozen. On my drive today I crossed the Iowa River twice and there was almost no ice. There is no snow on the ground. It is supposed to get up to 50° tomorrow. I am NOT complaining. It is just different than I remember it.

The most interesting thing I have noticed so far has to do with driving here in town. I am used to intersections with two-way stops. And I am accustomed to four-way stops. Though I will admit that four-way stops are often a source of irritation for me. Not the stopping – it is when I meet other drivers in the intersection who act as if they have never read the driving manual. The manual clearly states that the first car to enter the intersection at a four-way stop has the right of way and should be the first car out. If two cars enter the intersection simultaneously, the car to the right has the right of way. Invariably, when I enter an intersection and there is a car already there, or if another driver enters when I do, the other driver insists on waving me through. I am sure they think they are being nice. But they are not. They are driving me nuts.

Why do they do this? Are they so shy and insecure they can’t assert their rights and just drive the danged car through the intersection? Perhaps they think they are doing me a favor by allowing me to go first. I don’t have a driving need to go first – it is not a favor. Are they trying to sucker me into the intersection so they can then drive into me and rightfully claim they had the right-of-way and sue me for every penny me and my insurance company can scrape together? My best guess is that they have never read the driver’s manual and don’t have a clue as to what they should do in that situation. I have an almost overwhelming desire to jump out of my car, run over to them with a copy of The Rules of the Road, opened to the page that covers driving through intersections, and reading it to them. Is this road rage or just a teachable moment? Perhaps it is some of both.

All of that rant aside, something new I have noticed upon my return to Iowa is several no-way-stop intersections. Not two-way. Not four-way. No-way. Just on the street I live on there are at least two intersections where nobody – coming either way – has a stop sign. Is this something new in Iowa or is this just a Burlington thing? Is this a result of slick roads and stop signs being mowed down by errant drivers that the road crews have failed to replace? Has the habit of stopping and waving each other through the intersection become so common that stop signs are no longer needed? Perhaps.

If you know me, you know I am not all that interested in rules. But somebody here needs a stop sign.

New Shoes

2012-02-13T15:25:00.000-05:00

I have just moved to a new church. It is the first time I have made a new beginning with a church in over 20 years. I am looking forward to the new challenge. When I was packing to make the move, my wife sized up the situation and said, “You need some new clothes.” It is important for you to know that I am the kind of guy who needs to be told when he needs new clothes. Some people dress for style. Some people dress for comfort. I just dress to cover my body. So I don’t care much about clothes. Okay, I don’t care anything about clothes.

So, upon my wife’s advice, I have begun purchasing new clothes. If you are around me on a daily basis, don’t expect to notice my new clothes. I tend to buy new clothes that look exactly like my old clothes. Black slacks, blue oxford cloth shirts and that’s about it. But today I bought new shoes. Okay, they are exactly like my old shoes. Except they are new.

I was reminded of buying new shoes when I was a kid. Do you remember how it felt to have new shoes? One popular brand was PF Flyers™. I remember getting a new pair when I was going into the third grade. When I slipped them babies on I had no doubts that I could outrun every kid in my class. I was wearing Flyers™ and I was sure I could fly. They felt great and I felt great wearing them. Later in life the shoe to wear was the black, high-top Converse All Stars™. The Chuck Taylor model. Lace up those bad boys and I was finally going to be able to dunk the basketball. Look out Bob Cousy and Bill Russell, here I come.

New shoes or not, I was never fast on my feet. My baseball coach made a big deal out of timing my run around the bases with an hourglass, And after years of practice the best I could finally do was barely touch the rim and I never could dunk the basketball. But I never lost the excitement that having new shoes brought to my life. New shoes mean new hopes and new expectations.

So, today, I lace up my new shoes and prepare to run faster and jump higher than I ever have before. Figuratively speaking, that is. It is my hope that, with the help of my new shoes, I will be a better man than I have ever been before. I am going to be a better husband; a better father; a better Christian and a better pastor than ever before. Yep, watch out for me and my new shoes. We are going to do great things.

We Are the Good Guys

2012-02-10T17:24:00.003-05:00

A few days ago I was taking a look at a book recently published by a ministerial colleague. I found his marketing blurb both interesting and disturbing. He wrote of his book: “An insightful and inspiring look at the Christian vocabulary through the eyes of a 21st-century progressive religious leader. This book may well infuriate Christian fundamentalists. Baffle evangelical Christians. But for those open-hearted, open-minded people who long to love God with their whole being, this insightful book will provide the language to say "yes" to a living faith.”

What struck me about the description is what a haughty, snotty attitude it exuded. And he is not the only Christian I have noticed displaying such a “better than thou” attitude. I hang out with Christians from all across the theological spectrum. I understand that this is something that most Christians don’t do. We seem to be inclined to cloister ourselves in our theological ghettos. This is unhealthy behavior for many reasons. It causes us to be limited in our understanding and acceptance of those who think differently than we do. We allow ourselves to be unchallenged in our thinking. And we become prejudiced.

This happens on both ends of the theological spectrum. My more conservative friends fail to be open to new and different ideas – especially if espoused by “liberals”. They exude an attitude of righteousness and being the only ones who truly understand what God is up to. They often present themselves as self righteous and holier than thou. On the other end of the spectrum are my progressive brothers and sisters. They tend to be as close minded as the fundamentalists. In many ways they are in greater danger because they have convinced themselves that they are open minded when they aren’t. I often refer to these friends as fundamentalist liberals. So far none of them have appreciated my observation. They present and often see themselves as more intelligent than their more conservative brethren. As they peek at each other over their theological divides, the conservatives see the liberals as godless and the liberals see the conservatives as mindless.

As I have said, it is my joy to interact with folks from both sides of the great divide. Unfortunately, because I do mix with the unwashed others, both groups of friends and colleagues view me with some measure of mistrust. But I find it interesting and well worth the distrust it brings. Here is my take on things. Some of the most intelligent people I have ever met are conservative Christians and some of the dumbest statements I have ever heard uttered were made by progressive Christians. And some of the most unholy people I have been around are theologically conservative and I have been in the presence of some very godly liberals. Neither side is running short of mean, stupid people. All I can say is, progressive or fundamentalist, thank God for the gift of grace.

And what am I. Many years ago, while working in the Iowa juvenile justice system, one of my co-workers described me as a fundamentalist cynic. I can live with that.

Questions

2012-02-07T11:38:00.000-05:00

As I am in my first days as Interim Senior Pastor at the First Christian Church in Burlington, Iowa, I am definitely the new guy in town. As the new guy, I find myself asking a lot of questions. Where to find things; who to talk to about something; where to get my hair cut; the best place to buy gas; who is your doctor; how do you do things around here and the list goes on and on.

Asking questions reminds me of when my youngest son, David, was a toddler. He could ask a thousand questions a day – day after day after day after day... On the first day of a visit with us my dear, sweet (I am not kidding she really was.) mother-in-law caught me saying to David in response to his millionth question of the day, “Shut up, David.” She drew me aside and quietly admonished me to not do that. She was afraid, she said, I would stunt his curiosity. I had to smile when, three days into the visit, I heard her say to David, after three long days of fielding his questions, “Hush, David.”

So, I know that repeatedly being asked questions can be very irritating. But I have also learned that we must constantly question ourselves; both our motives and our methods, if we are going to get any better at what we are trying to do and make any progress. As a growing Christian I am constantly questioning what I do and why I am doing it. Those questions have led me to some very surprising answers and brought some great changes into my life.

Jesus was a questioner. He spent a large part of His ministry asking questions as He sought to have people come to understand the reality of God in their lives. One example is an exchange between Jesus and the disciple Philip. We read it in John 14:8-9. Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” ⁹Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’

I tell you all of that to let you know that you will often hear me asking questions. I am not trying to be irritating. (I can do that without ever really trying. J) I am hoping to help us make good and godly decisions about how to move forward in God’s mission for the First Christian Church of Burlington, Iowa. Are we doing the best we can to fulfill the Great Commission in the place where God has called us to be His ministers and missionaries?

My most repeated question is “Why?” If we are going to do something – a program or a ministry – we must ask why we are doing or should be doing that particular ministry. We must look at what we are already doing and ask why. Is what we are doing the best investment of our resources – time, talents, energy and money? All of these resources come in limited supplies. Are we using what God has given us to the best advantage of fulfilling his mission for this church? We must constantly ask these questions and we must answer these questions honestly. Frankly, that is often a difficult and challenging task. Jesus said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” As powerful and freeing as the truth can be, sometimes I am not that interested in it.

Join me in asking ourselves and God: “How can we do this thing we call church better, in ways that help glorify God and increase the Kingdom of God?”

Smart

2011-12-12T17:34:00.000-05:00

In just the past couple of weeks I have had two different people declare me “smart”. It makes me smile. Really it makes me laugh out loud. If I am smart, why do I consistently do such stupid things? How am I possibly mistaken for a smart person?

Let me tell you the circumstances around my moments of smartness. The first was during a visit to my nephrologist. Steve has been my kidney doctor for well over a decade. We have spent a lot of time together, talked about a vast array of topics, shared some deep conversations and truly like and enjoy a good friendship. As usual, on my last visit, I inquired about his summer and how life was in his household. He told me of building screened in porch and enjoying many hours reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. In the conversation he told me that in reading the book he discovered why Germany had started World War II and asked me if I knew. I said, “Sure. They were angry and felt disrespected by the Treaty of Versailles that ended World War I.” He was a bit surprised that I knew the answer and asked, “Did you know there were attempts by members of the German military leaders to assassinate Hitler?” I replied, “Yes, and isn’t it weird that one of them would have succeeded if someone at a meeting had not move the satchel containing the bomb to the wrong side of a thick table leg that deflected the blast and spared Hitler’s life?” His mouth dropped open and he turned to his medical assistant and said, “This guy is really smart.” I just smiled. I knew the truth. The smart guy was really just a guy who is out of work and spends hours watching the History Channel. I have learned more history watching the History Channel for the past six months than I did earning a history minor in college.

A few days ago I experienced my second moment of smartness. I was doing some marriage counseling with a young couple recently married. They are going that surprising stage of marriage where you find you have to adjust to living with someone you thought you knew. Living with someone is different than dating them. I think that the biggest difference is that when you are mad at your significant other or just plain tired of hanging around them, you can’t go home. Well, you can go home but they are there. So, I am counseling this wonderful young couple on how to understand that they think differently and he looks me in the eye and says, “You are so smart. How did you get so smart?” I laughed. How did I get so smart? Let’s see… by screwing up just about every relationship I have ever had… by spending many hours sitting quietly in the corner and watching people… by working hard to understand who I am and why I do what I do… by finally grasping the reality that all people are imperfect and screw up and disappoint each other but that most of us are doing the best we can with who we are and what we know.

Smart? Not so much. More like my father would say. “A blind pig finds an acorn every once in a while.”

Dream a Little Dream with Me

2011-11-01T18:09:00.001-04:00

Ever wonder why we dream the dreams we do? I know I sure do. They often seem so strange, disjointed and out of touch with one's daily life.

Just the other day a dream I had several years ago, when we lived in Falmouth, Kentucky, came to mind. I dreamed our little town was hit by a tornado and wiped out. Only, in my dream, our little town was a big city and I just sat in a tower by a picture window and watched it happen and escaped unscathed. The town (city) was flattened. I immediately went to the ambulance quarters to get the rescue efforts started. It was the natural place to go because, in the dream, I didn't have a wife, children or home. The ambulance quarters were totally destroyed. The ambulance was smashed and the top was ripped off. Everyone was extremely upset that the ambulance was unusable but I couldn't see any problem. A convertible ambulance worked for me. So we got in it, I started it up (I drive: I AM the Chief!) and off we went.

Dreams are wonderful, mysterious, life enriching things. That is, until you drop and break them. I hate broken dreams. Like when someone wakes you up in the middle of a really good one. I go back to sleep but, try as I may, I can never seem to finish that particular dream. At least, not finish it like I sensed it was going to end. It never seems to come out right once it is broken. And we all have plenty of broken dreams in our lives.

It is difficult deciding what to do with a dream once it is broken. We poor humans have tried and discovered that we can't fix them once they are broken. They are lost forever. We carefully gather up all the pieces and tenderly try to patch them together. But, like a jigsaw puzzle with too much sky, it is almost impossible to get all the pieces to fit exactly as we sense they should. And dreams are so fragile. It doesn't matter what kind of glue we use and how careful we are, the delicate parts can never again be a whole.They look and feel just like what they are… a patch job. It all seems so sad.

While driving to Lexington several years ago, I passed many beautiful, expansive, expensive, perfectly kept horse farms. Each had a name proudly displayed out front on a fine, professionally painted sign. As is my habit, on the drive home I took a different route. Going a different route is just one of my insignificant attempts to keep from being bored and boring. On this return trip I passed an entirely different set of farms. One tiny "farm" had a rather dinky sign out front proclaiming its name to be, "OUR DREAM COME TRUE." Good for them! How wonderful! Their dream came true and they were smart enough to realize their good fortune, to enjoy it and proclaim it to the world or at least that part of the world that travels Cane Run Road and can read.

I am sorry to report that I find it easier to list my broken dreams than to celebrate my dreams that have come true. Broken dreams? I have bunches of them. I was not an All American college football player. I did not attend or graduate from a prestigious law school. I am not the U.S. Senator from the great state of Kentucky. Not all of my relationships have turned out as I had hoped. The truth be told, none of them really have. I am not the Pastor of the largest and most influential Protestant Church in North America, or even Ohio. I have not had a book published that hit the best seller list. I am not the world's greatest son, father, husband, pastor, friend, counselor or person. I am not even particularly good at any of those things. I have tripped and fallen and dropped and broken my share of dreams. So sad. Broken dreams are sad. You know that. You have your list just as I have mine.

But we also have our dreams come true. That, too, is an impressive list. But I won't bore you with my multitude of successes. What I find interesting is that the most wonderful dreams that have come true in my life are the dreams I have never dreamed. Dreams like: having children that I love beyond what I ever imagined as my ability to love; to share and have shared life in its most magnificent and most dreadful times with some of the most marvelous people in the world; to have learned to love and truly care about other human beings; to have been loved; to have experienced being used to heal a wounded heart or spirit and to have introduced some folks to a God that loves them. Wonderful dreams I couldn't even envision much less dream.

As I "row, row, row my boat gently down the stream," I am discovering that life is not a dream. But I hope to keep on dreaming. These dreams we have and share are still mysterious, wonderful and life enriching things. Our lives would be diminished without them. Yes, we are better off for dreaming. I suspect that without our dreams we would become rather bland, lack direction, and possibly lose our souls.

I, for one, will keep on dreaming. Please excuse me if I drop one on you and cause you any hurt or inconvenience. I can assure you it wasn't intentional. It is just that when it comes to dreams, I am just a little clumsy.

Everyone Gets a Trophy

2011-10-07T16:38:00.001-04:00

There has been a bit of a flap on the Evangelical side of the North American Christian church recently over whether there is a real live heaven or hell and if God really does send people to hell. They are wrestling with the concept that if there is a hell, is God really mean enough to send people to hell, and is it forever or just until they shape up? Much like being sent to your room for a time out for belching at the table during dinner. Books are being written (Rob Bell and Francis Chan), articles are being published, debates are being held and lots of money is being made. All of this furor is in just one segment of the church. The more progressive side of the church solved this problem and eliminated hell a long time ago.

There is no doubt that hell is a huge PR problem for the church. Especially since we (the church) have spent many years “selling” God as a benevolent old gentleman/woman who spends his/her time dispensing lollypops, sage advice and good wishes for humanity. He/she is a pleasant but impotent old creature who would be completely incapable of coming up with anything as negative as hell.

This morning I was reading the Gospel of Mark – some of the teachings of Jesus. When I do that I am reminded of people who say they don’t like Christianity but they like Jesus. “Christianity,” they say, “is too narrow and difficult.” That could be true but then I always wonder what this “Jesus” they like so much looks and sounds like and what he stands for; if anything. I sense the Jesus I like is very different from the Jesus they like because I have gone to the trouble of actually reading the Bible. But that is just a guess. Well, not really. I almost always ask those folks if they have read the Bible and the universal response is “no.”

When I read the teachings of Jesus I am: inspired; challenged; frightened; encouraged; and often irritated. But I am almost never made comfortable – put at ease. Jesus is pretty straightforward in his approach. We are in a monumental struggle. There are good guys and there are bad guys. There are good choices and there are bad choices. And there are positive consequences and there are negative consequences. Our choices do make a difference. Jesus seems to be of the clear opinion that there is a heaven and there is a hell.

Over the thousands of years that the Christian faith has been in existence, the reality of heaven and hell has rarely been in question. The question has come up several times, but historically only miniscule segments of the church have clung to the belief that hell does not exist. So I wonder why such a large segment of believers in the church of the North American culture are so attracted to the idea of a hell-less afterlife.

And then I thought about my days of playing sports. Come with me to a place not so long ago and not so far away. In that other time, if one wanted to play a sport one tried out for the team. And not everyone made the team. If one made the team, one did not necessarily play in the games. The kids who were good at the game played in the games because the team was attempting to win the games. One practiced a lot so one got better at the game so one could then play in the game and also be on a winning team. Way back then there were winners and there were losers. Winning was great. Losing sucked. One worked hard to win. One made choices and there were consequences to those choices. We learned important life lessons when we won and we learned important life lessons when we lost.

Generally speaking, sports are done differently today. Everyone makes a team, if not the team. Everyone gets to play. And at the end of the season, everyone gets a trophy. Everyone is a winner. It doesn’t matter how well you played. It doesn’t matter how much you practiced. It doesn’t matter how hard you tried. Nothing much matters. You just need to show up. If you show up, you are a winner and you get a trophy. And this philosophical approach is prevalent in most of areas that impact the lives of our children. (Sports, education, religion, games)

Having been brought up saturated in that philosophy, many of us have come to believe that is how the world works and is obviously how God works. No wonder we struggle with believing there is a hell. Going to hell would make one a loser. And there are no losers. Everyone gets a trophy.

Rose Colored Glasses

2011-09-13T20:53:00.001-04:00

The phrase “Rose Colored Glasses” has come up a couple of times in the past few days. In my growing up days, if one was accused of wearing rose colored glasses one was being accused of not being realistic, of seeing only what one wanted to see, of ignoring things that are obviously wrong – especially in relationships… at least to others observing the situation.

I was watching a show on PBS that featured some classic country music. On that show was a performance by one of my favorite fellow Kentuckian’s, John Conlee. John is one of the least known and yet most successful country music singer/song writers of the past half century. I, and his millions of other fans, love his smooth, silky, melodious voice and his heartfelt lyrics. His voice has been compared to smooth, rich Kentucky bourbon whiskey. Being a preacher I, of course, wouldn’t know. His signature song is “Rose Colored Glasses.” You can listen to it here.

The other reference to rose colored glasses came up in a book by J. Mark Fox my brother sent me. It was a book on how to establish a family centered church. But in the middle of the book was hidden a nugget of marital advice that surprised me because it, at first reading, seemed to have little to do with doing church. Rev. Fox was referring to the need for people to be very honest from the very beginning when considering becoming a part of a church. It is true that church membership is very much like becoming a part of a family. His advice was that, when considering joining a church, we lay everything out on the table and see if there is anything involved that could be a deal breaker. The process we use for finding a church is often much like our process in dating and finding a mate. While we are dating we tend to wear rose colored glasses and only see the best in the person we are dating. Then, after we marry, we exchange those rose colored glasses for a magnifying glass we use to carefully and thoroughly inspect our new spouse for any faults or flaws.

Fox suggests that we would do well to reverse the process – inspect the possible mate thoroughly with a critical eye before marriage and after marriage slip on the rose colored glasses and see only the good. It has been my experience as a marriage counselor that most often the problems we have in relating to our spouses were evident in the relationship during the dating process. But in the dating process, while wearing our rose colored glass, we thought that the problem behavior: was not even noticed; was endearing; could be changed; would somehow mysteriously cease or disappear. After marriage, under the scrutiny of the magnifying glass, the troubling behavior becomes, first, irritating, and then problematic and progresses finally to being unlivable.

I gained some local notoriety in the last church I served for giving the following advice in the course of pre-marriage counseling. I would encourage the prospective bride and groom to turn and look at one another. “Take a good look. A really good look. And understand that this is as good as he or she is going to be. This is as good as they are ever going to look. This is as good as they are ever going to smell. They are being as nice as they will ever be – this is as nice as they know how to be because they are doing their best to impress you. You are not going to fix him or her. In fact, you will do very little toward improving them in any way. This is it – the best it will ever be. Please take note of this truth and react properly.” I was just trying to be helpful. Some people insisted on labeling me a cynic. I think that was unfair.

I am in the process of seeking a church to serve as senior minister. It would be my suggestion to all involved to take off the rose colored glasses during the search and call process and get out the magnifying glasses. And then, as I am unpacking my boxes in the church office, let’s all put on those beautiful rose colored glasses.

Reaching the Disinterested

2011-08-18T17:49:00.000-04:00

This post first appeared as a Travel Free Learning Experience on the web site of The Columbia Partnership.

A question whose answer often eludes the members and leaders of plateaued and declining churches is, “Why don’t more people come to our church?” Most of us who already attend churches feel that we have friendly, inviting churches filled with wonderful people and can’t understand why the unchurched don’t attend.

There are several spiritual, cultural and generational influences at work in our society that may attract or repel people considering participation in the local church. Let’s take a look at some of those influences and also consider how to make our churches more attractive to those considering church involvement in the light and context of church transformation.

Why do people attend your church
A good place to start on this topic is to ask, “Why do the people who do come to your church come to your church?” Ask church members and you will find that most people stay in a church for different reasons than why they first came to the church. We asked that questions at several different churches and received replies like these.

· Family ties – “I have family that attends this church who invited me. It is something good we share in common.”

· Friendships – “I have made some of my best and most important friends at this church.”

· Commitment to the vision and mission of the church – “I like what this church stands for and the things we are involved in.”

· Commitment to God – “I am a believer and worship is what I do.”

· Denominational affiliation – “I grew up in the Baptist (Catholic, Lutheran, Christian, etc.) Church and that is where I feel comfortable.”

Why do people not come to your church?
Back, several decades ago, people who considered attending a church did so with several positive preconceptions about church and what church attendance would mean to them. Some of those preconceptions were:

· Church is a good place to be

· Church attendance is socially acceptable

· Church is a safe place

· Church is a good place to make friends

· Church is a great place to make good business connections

In our present time, people still approach church with a set of preconceptions. Unfortunately these preconceptions are not the same as their parents’ preconceptions and are not nearly as positive. Some of these are:

· Church is boring and Irrelevant

· It will be unwelcoming

· The people there are judgmental

· I am busy and don’t have time for church attendance

· Cookie cutter mentality – All Christians are alike

· I don’t believe what they believe/I can’t buy the theology

· Church people are only Interested in me working for their projects

· They are only Interested in getting my money

· I had a bad experience at a church

· I had to go to church as a child

· I don’t believe in organized religion

· I don’t have to go to church to worship God

· I never been invited (Enough)

· I can’t find your church

How to attract people to your church
One of my favorite resources on this topic is Thom S. Rainer’s book Surprising Insights from the Unchurched. Rainer does research on the unchurched through LifeWay Christian Resources. In that research we find some interesting information. Take a look at some of those results.

Top 13 Reasons that Unchurched People Choose a Church
1. 90% - Pastor/Preaching

2. 88% - Doctrines

3. 49% - Friendliness of Members

4. 42% - Other Issues

5. 41% - Someone from the Church Witnessed to Me

6. 38% - Family Member

7. 37% - Sensed God’s Presence/Atmosphere of Church

8. 25% - Relationship Other than Family Member

9. 25% - Sunday School Class/Small Groups

10 .25% - Children’s/Youth Ministry

11. 12% - Other Groups/Ministries

12. 11% - Worship Style/Music

13. 7% - Location

Knowledge is power if you use the knowledge to your advantage. Some church leaders gather the information of why the unchurched do not attend church, but refuse to use this information to make any changes. We, of the church, often insist on doing business as usual and just complaining that others don’t come.

Armed with the knowledge of some of the reasons people may be disinclined to attend your church, and research on why some of the unchurched do decide to attend a church, the next question becomes: What can I(we) do to attract some of the unchurched to my(our) church?

· They can’t find the church

o Signage – Erect a readable sign.

o Phonebook – Put a small ad in the Yellow pages. Few people use them anymore but it is still a good idea.

o Web presence – Over 90% of the people who are likely to visit your church will first check out your church web site. If you don’t have a web site, most under the age of 50 will assume your church does not exist. Keep the web site interesting and up to date or potential visitors will assume your church is uninteresting and out of date. Set up your web site to cater to visitors instead of church members.

o Direct mailings – Rarely do direct mailing directly attract visitors. But they do help with branding your church in your community. The positive effects are long term.

o Location – There is very little you can do about the location of your facilities. But a change in church mission and target audience may call for a change in location.

· Work on your sermon – Make your sermon interesting and the content understandable and full of useful information. The pastor’s sermon will be one of the most vital factors visitors consider when they are deciding whether to return or not.

· Know your vision and target audience – Design all you do to impact your target audience. For example, if you are targeting families with school aged children, make sure your children’s ministry is top notch. Expend the majority of your resources in children’s ministry.

· Personal invitations – This is the key to attracting new people to the church. Everything else we do is to make sure they find the church attractive and comfortable and that their experience in attending church is positive. But very few will attend without a personal invitation.

· Systemic evangelism – Teach the present church membership to make the sharing of their spiritual lives second nature – comfortable and meaningful.

· Random Acts of Kindness (RAK)/Servant Evangelism – Reach out to the community in ways that help them see the church and God as kind and giving expecting nothing in return.

· Connecting ministries – Connect with the unchurched in your neighborhood by hosting free, Block parties, VBS, car washes, auto maintenance days, school supply give-a-ways, etc.

· Make sure that people know that your church is offering relationships instead of religion

· Offer people something they can’t get anywhere else – a loving and growing relationship with the Living God who has expressed love to them in undeniable ways.

Connecting people in your church
When visitors show up at Sunday morning worship that is just one of the many steps the church must have in place to bring them into full participation in the life of the church. Getting them in the door is a challenge but it is just the beginning of a process. If you are not ready for your visitors and fail to connect with them you will most likely not see them again. There are the few individuals who are determined to come to your church come hell or high water, but most visitors are uneasy and insecure about attending church and it doesn’t take much to discourage them from returning.

There are many approaches to church hospitality. Most churches believe they are friendly and welcoming when in fact they are not. I encourage you to carefully look at the Sunday morning experience of your visitors and then put a team in place to improve on that experience. It is a good idea to hire some unchurched people to attend your morning worship and report back on their experiences. Continually look at the church experience you offer through unchurched eyes.

Some very simple things that all churches can and should be doing are:

· Welcoming with individual attention and introductions – People want to be noticed but not displayed. Have a cadre of people available and trained to seek out new attendees and engage them in conversation. Introduce them around.

· Reconnect with 2^nd and 3^rd time visitors. Continue to introduce them to more and more church members.

· Offer coffee, tea and a place to interact with other people.

· Have very clearly communicated steps to connect with the people of the church – have a simple process in place and let visitors know what that process is.

· Walk people into connecting with a small group.

· Develop a path for spiritual growth and make it clear what it is.

Getting visitors to your church boils down to having highly motivated church members who are excited about your church and excited about growing relationship with the Living God. Moving new people from first time visitors to become fully functioning followers of Christ takes planning, training and the commitment of many members of the church. Evangelism doesn’t just happen. It must be a core value of your church.

Important Things to Know
Bill McConnell is a Ministry Colleague with The Columbia Partnership. He is a Church Leadership coach and Church Transformation Consultant and the author of a book on church transformation, Renew Your Congregation: Healing the Sick and Raising the Dead. He is available for speaking and coaching with church leaders and congregations.

The Columbia Partnership is a non-profit Christian ministry organization focused on transforming the capacity of the North American Church to pursue and sustain Christ-centered ministry. Travel Free Learning is a leadership development emphasis of The Columbia Partnership. For more information about products and services check out the web site at www.TheColumbiaPartnership.org, send an e-mail to Client.Care@TheColumbiaPartnership.org, or call 803.622.0923.

It's More Than Sunday Morning

2011-08-15T15:30:00.002-04:00

I was given a writing assignment for a professional journal and had been struggling with writing an article that speaks to the heart of spiritual growth. I know that it must include the importance of participation in personal spiritual disciplines and participation in a small group and participation in a ministry.

Many years ago, when I was in seminary, one of the innovative churches we studied was The Church of the Saviour in Washing¬ton, D.C. I recently came upon a copy of the only book that founding pastor Gordon Cosby published. In it he describes the pro¬cess the church used to develop mature Christians. Reading the book caused me to realize that much of what Rev. Cosby proposes has deeply impacted my approach to ministry.

The Church of the Saviour was formed in the mid 1940s by Gordon Cosby upon his return from serving as a chaplain in World War II. For over half of a century it functioned as a covenant church in which members signed a yearly covenant of commitments to follow par¬ticular spiritual disciplines and involvement in ministry in small groups called Mission Groups. Cosby called people to be committed to “an inward journey” of a deepening walk with God and “an outward journey” of learning to serve others and impact the world for Christ. While never large, the church was dynamic and extreme¬ly influential. I believe Cosby was onto something and in the present church culture we have something to learn from him.

I write all of that to bring us to this. I’m trying to find a nice way of saying something I believe is important. I’m trying to communicate and yet I’m afraid our so-called sensitivities will get in the way. Here’s my dilemma. I don’t want to say something so offensive in this article that people get stuck on the word or words and miss the point I’m making. So I have been searching to find another way to phrase some¬thing that I believe is a great insight. In rephrasing the idea, I’m afraid that the strength of what I am saying is going to be weakened. But I’ll give it my best shot to be both “clean” and clear.

It is my belief that the pur¬pose of the church is to develop mature Christians who impact their community for the Kingdom of God and invite others into the family of God. If that is true, we need to find ways to be more successful at our task. It has been my experience that most churches are rather ineffective at producing disci¬ples – fully functioning followers of Christ. It is not from lack of effort. In many ways it seems the thing that most retards the process is the idea that we can get this “Chris¬tian Thing” all done and accomplished in a couple of hours on Sunday morning. That is impossible.

It is one of the core values of the church I am a part of that everyone should be in a Life Group. Like many things in our Christian walk, we may believe that but we don’t necessarily do that. We call it a Life Group on pur¬pose. It is not a Bible Study Group. It is not a fellowship group. It is not a prayer group. It is not an evangelism team. It is not a mission team. It is not any of those things ... it’s all of those things. It is a miniature church. We say and we believe, “If you are not in a Life Group you are not really a part of the church.”

Even if you’re not a fan of Rick Warren (the pastor of Saddleback Community Church and author of The Pur¬pose Driven Church) most people will admit that he is on to something when he says that a healthy church does five things well – Discipleship, Evangelism, Fellowship, Worship, and Serving. Unfortunately there are lots of churches that don’t even consider doing all five of these things, much less working at doing each of them well. Trying to get these important things done in two-and-a-half hours on a Sunday morning is impossible. To think we do is the height of rationalization.

The following describes Sunday morning in most of our churches.
• We listen to a short sermon and call it Discipleship. Later we complain that we are not being fed through the sermons. That is laughable. Of course we’re not.
• Over a cup of coffee we greet each other and call that Fellowship.
• We sing a few songs (but only if we like them and they use the correct instruments) and call it Wor¬ship.
• Occasionally we invite someone from another church to attend ours and call that Evangelism.
• If we really want to go overboard we volunteer to hand out bulletins and call that Serving.
And then we wonder why others aren’t attracted to the faith and why our own faith has so little impact on our own lives.

How we measure the success of our Sunday morning experience is whether or not it made us feel good. Nor¬mally that good feeling is rather short lived. No one is really helped. No real connection is made with another human being. We continue the fantasy that we have a deep relationship with God because we had some kind of emotional experience on Sunday morning. Twenty min¬utes after it’s over it slips away and ultimately fails to have a lasting impact on our lives. I believe the most honest definition of what has happened is self pleasuring. There are other more direct terms for it but this is a family publication. With fantasies in our heads we have partici¬pated in an activity that has served no one but ourselves and only served to make us feel better. Sounds like self pleasuring to me.

Somehow we have allowed a relatively meaningless, self-serving, feel good Sunday morning activity to take the place of a growing relationship with the Living God and a meaningful relationship with fellow members of the family of God. And we call this being a Christian. It is not only sad; it is misleading, confusing, and obscene.

We must re-think this whole deal we call Christianity. It is not an activity. It is not a club membership. It is a lifestyle; it is a way of life. Our faith, our relationship with God, needs to invade every area of our lives. Being a Christian speaks to how I spend my time, how I spend my money, what I do for a living, how I rear my children, how I treat my spouse, who I vote for, and why I vote the way I do. Our attempts to live compartmentalized lives in which our faith is separate from and has no effect on the rest of our lives is a farce. Being Christian is not something I do, it is who I am.

Thus, I don’t think being a part of a Life Group is option¬al for a committed, growing Christian. If we can learn anything from the first century church; it is that the Christian life is not lived in a vacuum and it is not lived in solitude. We need each other. We need all the help and support we can get. And we need that help and sup¬port on a daily basis. We call that support a Life Group.

May I strongly suggest that, instead of continuing to pleasure ourselves, we dig into our journey inward and our journey outward and get real about living a life with and for God.

Copyright © 2011, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

You Have the Right to Remain Silent

2011-08-05T13:29:00.006-04:00

I love to watch comedians at work. Sorry to say, most of them are so foulmouthed that I can’t repeat most of their material and I am uncomfortable recommending anyone listen to them. But I manage to filter through their foul language and enjoy the humor in the gist of what they have to say. I believe a good preacher can learn much from studying comedians. We can not only learn much about delivery and timing but also about how to look at life.

One of my favorite comedy routines is Ron White telling about being arrested in New York City and charged with public drunkenness. You can watch it here but don’t come back to me complaining about his language. In his monologue he mentions that while he was being arrested he was in formed that he had the right to remain silent – but he didn’t have the ability. I wish more people were aware that they have the right to remain silent and that they would do well to exercise that right at every opportunity. I guess what I am saying is the next time someone tells you to shut up, instead of being offended, just shut up.

Talking, or the tongue, causes trouble. The Bible is clear on the negative power of talking. In the third chapter of James we read some powerful words about the tongue. “My friends, we should not all try to become teachers. In fact, teachers will be judged more strictly than others. All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body. By putting a bit into the mouth of a horse, we can turn the horse in different directions. It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction. Our tongues are small too, and yet they brag about big things. It takes only a spark to start a forest fire! The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person’s entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures can be tamed and have been tamed. But our tongues get out of control. They are restless and evil, and always spreading deadly poison.” (James 3:1-8)

I know we live in a culture that suggests we need to talk more; especially we men. We are being told that we need to talk more; share our feelings; get things out in the open. To that I say, shut up. Words have power. They have the power to build up and the power to tear down. The power to pull people together and the power to rip people apart. We can speak words of life and words of death.

Most of us talk without giving thought to what we are saying and to whom we are talking and to the damage our words might do. We just talk. Most people think that since talking makes them feel better it must be a good thing. Talking lets people know what we are thinking and how we are feeling. That’s nice. But some questions must be asked. Questions like: “Do they need to know what I am thinking and how I feel?” “What or who will be helped (or hurt) by my talking about this?” Or the question I have been taught to ask to help me know if my conversation will be gossip – “Is the person I am talking to a part of the problem or a part of the solution?” If they are neither, I am gossiping. I think we would be amazed how often we are gossiping because we are not helping the situation but, instead, we are getting people on our side or telling people our story – or our side of the story. And that is gossip. Even if we are talking to family or close friends – when they are neither a part of the problem or the solution it is gossip.

I am encouraging you to think before talking to someone else about something. Assume everyone you know, and several people you don’t know, will know what you are saying within a week. So think, do you want everyone to know? Think - Who could be hurt by what I am saying? Do I care? Think before you talk because what you say could destroy a relationship or destroy a reputation or destroy trust or destroy someone’s faith. Trust me; I know what I am talking about here.

Remember, you have the right to remain silent. And you have the ability. Take advantage of every opportunity you have to shut up.

I Got My Fingers Back

2011-08-02T23:21:00.003-04:00

I finally got my fingers back this week. I didn’t really lose my fingers. Not like I sometimes saw people lose fingers and other body parts when I worked on the rescue squad. Over the years I have spent several hours crawling around in roadside ditches searching for missing body parts.

Speaking of severed body parts reminds me of an evening several years ago. I was working a shift on the LaGrange, Kentucky, fire and rescue squad when we were called to an industrial accident. A fellow had slipped his hand into a machine and had his hand severed. We gathered up him and his wayward hand and headed to University Hospital in Louisville.

Having learned in our EMT training that the odds for a successful reattachment were significantly higher if the severed part is cooled on the trip to surgery, we stopped at the most convenient place on route to the hospital to pick up some ice. As the squad skidded to a halt in the parking lot, J. C. Long, one of the best and funniest EMTs I have ever met, piled off the squad and headed into McDonald’s. The sweet little teenage girl behind the counter stepped up and delivered the line she had been trained to say – “May I help you?” Breathlessly J. C. said, “Give me some ice in a plastic bag. And make it quick.” This happened back in the day before McDonald’s sold bags of ice. His tone and his unusual order unnerved the little girl and she shot back, “Why?” J. C. just held up the severed hand. The girl fainted, the manager gave us a bag of ice and we boogied on into Louisville.

Less traumatic was the evening in central Illinois on a run – motorcycle vs. pickup truck. Guess who won? I was helping the fellow who had been riding the motorcycle out of the ditch when his left arm came off in my hands. I was just a tad freaked out. He was very upset. It took me a couple of seconds to realize the arm was plastic but the patient was still very upset and demanded the immediate return of his arm; which I was pleased to do. He explained that he was upset because he kept a couple thousand dollars secreted in the arm and didn’t want it stolen. Weird.

Anyway, my little and ring fingers on my left hand weren’t detached. They were just immobile and pretty much useless. The doctor explained that I was suffering from Dupuytren’s disease – another perk of being of Irish decent. I could add that to my family history of the joys of Irishness – depression, poverty and desire for a beer. Now crooked, locked, useless fingers. Tissue, much like scar tissue, grew around my ligaments and locked them in place. It was amazing what losing use of two fingers on my dominate hand kept me from doing. For a guy who writes regularly for a living it made typing very difficult. I decided to have surgery when I realized that I could no longer reach the “a” key on the keyboard.

Anyway, my surgeon, Bob Rhoad, did an amazing job on my left hand. I know he did because he told me so. All kidding aside, he obviously did because my fingers are moving again. And then there is my therapist, Whitney. Whitney is an adorable little redhead with a love for pain and a heart of stone. The doctor got the fingers moving and she is going to keep them moving. Even if it kills me. And it might.

So, I got my fingers back. I am a happy man. Afraid of Whitney; but happy.

Copyright © 2011, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

The Rack

2011-06-14T23:46:00.002-04:00

I am reposting a blog I published a few weeks ago because I have found more information and a copy of the commercial I had been looking for on YouTube.

Let me admit something right from the start. I am not working at the moment (Also known as unemployed.) and am having a difficult time adjusting to not going to work every day. Working long hours almost every day for 40 years can become habit forming. Without work to do I fill my days reading, writing and watching television. Thank God the Cincinnati Reds are interesting to watch this year. That team may be my salvation.

As you will soon see, I am watching waaaay too much television. I am watching all kinds of shows on all kinds of channels at all times of the day and night. I must agree with Pink Floyd who observed something to the effect that there are a lot of channels showing a lot of sh.., er, stuff. There are a few channels that I tune to the most – Discovery, National Geographic, History Channel, the Military Channel and the SyFy Channel. I have an undergraduate degree with a minor in history so I am figuring that about four more hours of watching programming about WWII and I should be set for a Masters Degree. I have learned the skills to survive in any part of the world; I can name the most important airplanes used by our military over the past half century; I am pretty sure I could qualify to work on an Alaskan crab boat as long as I don’t have to work for Captain Sig; I am totally convinced that our government is covering up evidence of alien landings and I am certain that I see ghosts on a regular basis and have started listening to old sermons to see if I can find any EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomenon).

With a lot to think about and lots of decisions to make, I find it difficult to sleep. Thus I am often up watching TV in the middle of the night. My observation is that they do not save the best programs for 3:00 a.m. Most of the movies “star” people I have never heard of and, though I was a fan of Cheers, the third time around the humor looses a bit of its punch. At least, in my opinion. They also don’t pull out all stops to show the high quality commercials at 0’ dark thirty in the morning. Most of them are infomercials. No matter what the product, they all seem to feature the same spokespersons.

I am a bit of a fan of commercials. The commercials are often the most entertaining part of the programs. Okay, most commercials are pretty lame. But some companies have managed to find awesome advertizing agencies that make great commercial. The Geico® commercials are generally pretty good. My favorite is the one that asks, “Does a former Drill Sergeant make a terrible therapist?” Watch it here. For some odd reason several of the folks that I have counseled have mentioned that the commercial reminds them of me. Go figure. I also love the talking baby E-Trade commercials. I love this one and this one. You have to admit, these are hilarious. See, I was right. The commercials are the best part of television.

Several people have asked why I have lost so much weight the past few months. It is not the diet. It is not an exercise regimen. It is from watching late night TV. Just about the only thing on at 3:00 in the morning are commercials for diet programs and infomercials for exercise equipment. That and commercials for bras for full figured people. My theory is that my weight loss is due to my viewing preferences. The satisfied customers featured on the commercials claim that if I would only purchase the right diet plan/book or sign up for the correct food plan or if I will invest in some stomach surgery or if I will spend 60 days doing the latest exercise program I will lose between 10 and 100 pounds. I lost 35 pounds by just watching the commercials. Perhaps I should make an infomercial for my sit on your butt and watch TV diet plan.

My favorite exercise program is one called Insanity®. What highly paid consultant chose that name? From my life perspective it makes sense to call any exercise program insanity. I still clearly remember summer football two-a-day practices. That was insanity. About two days into the program you learned to not eat in the morning before practice or you might throw up. Eat a big lunch so that some stomach content was available to chuck on the ground during afternoon drills. By the time you got home in the evening you were so tired you skipped supper and went to bed. Then it was up early the next morning to repeat the cycle. That was insanity. By the way, it did cause weight loss.

There are bunches of exercise machines on the market. There are exercise machines that will tighten your abs, the long time favorite Bow-Flex®, a big ball to roll around on, bars to hang on a door frame for pull-ups, saucers for sit-ups, free weights, rowing machines, treadmills, the Stair Master® which gives you a couple of steps to walk up and down (we have built in steps at our house so we weren’t interested), shake weights that vibrate your arms as you lift them, things to enhance your abs and your buns at the same time and the list can go on and on. I am often impressed at the simplicity of these exercise tools and the stupidity of the thousands of people who would purchase them.

But a new product has hit the market that surpasses all the competition. It is called “The Rack”™. Today I finally found some footage of the commercial on YouTube. Check it out here. You can see why the commercial for this new exercise/weight loss tool that has caught my eye. It is simple and the commercial promises some amazing results. I love how the commercial starts with footage of a gorgeous guy with an amazing body and the announcer asking, “Would you like a body like this.” Frankly, I’m not terribly interested but I bet my wife would. (Wink, wink.) But the best thing about it, the thing that has just blown me away, is that I have seen these exercise machines for decades being used by some of the more elderly of my friends. They sent one of these things home with me from the hospital following my knee surgery. The commercial calls it a great exercise tool. One of my friends calls her’s a walker. I swear to you. In these infomercials they are selling high strength, heavy duty, and foldable walkers as the latest in exercise equipment. After the shock wore off and I stopped laughing I couldn’t help thinking, “Why didn’t I think of that?” I am too logical, perhaps.

Copyright © 2011, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Things Change - Adjust

2011-06-11T19:35:00.001-04:00

This past week I had the joy of leading a couple of seminars on the subject of church transformation for several church leaders in northeastern New York. Though they kept telling me we were in Buffalo, I read the signs. We really met in Cheektowaga, New York. You know where that is, don't you? Yeah, me neither. It was a great time with some great people. I had the opportunity to renew a friendship with their Regional Minister and make a couple of new friends. It was time well spent.

At the core of talking about church transformation is change. Which is a no brainer. Because, if what we of the church are already doing was working, we wouldn't need transformation. Of course, every church I talk to is interested in transformation. Or should I say, they are interested in experiencing the great things transformation can bring to the church – life, vitality, excitement, ministry, new people and deeper relationships. They want the benefits. But only if they can experience those results without changing anything. We desperately desire to see the church grow. But we just as desperately don't want anything to change. And we can't have both. As a dear friend told me, "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you've got."

I know enough about Buffalo that one had better be prepared for change if one is to live there. While I was visiting the weather was perfect, Chamber of Commerce weather – cloudless skies, high in the upper 80's with a nice breeze off of the lake. I went to lunch in a lovely restaurant overlooking a marina filled with beautiful sail boats. Then we took a walk along a beautiful lakefront park. What a perfect place to live. In the summer. But things are just a bit different in Buffalo in the winter. They don't measure their snowfalls in inches but in feet. As my father would say, "It gets colder than Billy Blue Blazes." (I have no idea what that means but I know it is cold.) Buffalo is a place where things change. Especially the weather.

The reality is, change is inevitable. The key to transformation is take some control of the change that happens and make sure those changes bring the results you desire. Lot's of the changes in our lives are uncontrollable. Those kinds of changes we must just accept and adjust to them.

Some changes recently came into my life. Some of those changes were my choice and some of those changes I feel I had very little control over. For whatever reasons, change came into my life and I found myself living alone and spending a huge majority of my time in solitude. It was a change that was difficult to deal with. I really struggled with it. I thought about it. I wrote about it. Several of my dear friends responded to my writings by making fun of me. What would one do without friends? Most people just ignored me.

I have been "alone" for about three months now. And I have adjusted to that change. As much as I first hated it, I have now adjusted to living alone and spending most days in solitude. And I like it. So, as I am able to adjust to the changes in my life, perhaps there is hope for churches to adjust to the changes required for transformation. I hope so because if our churches fail to transform, they will surely die.

Be Healed of Stupid in the Name of Jesus

2011-05-21T12:34:00.001-04:00

This morning, May 21, 2011, I posted this on Facebook. "Never one to take chances, though I doubt that Harold Camping is correct that today is the day of the Rapture, I am spending the day in plain sight (Wouldn't want Jesus to miss me.) sitting in a lawn chair in the back yard wearing a white robe (I want to fit in.) and a helmet with a orange flag on the top. If my neighbors notice, it will be a great opportunity to witness to them."

If you are living in this country and have a television you have heard that today, May 21, 2011, has been predicted by Harold Camping as the day of the Rapture. The day when those who have given their lives to God and become a part of His Kingdom, will be taken up in the moment of Jesus' return. I don't have an issue with the rapture. I would love to see it. I would love to be a part of it. It is goof balls like Camping I have problems with.

I posted on Facebook a note ridiculing the notion that today is the day of rapture. I did it because naming the date is ridiculous. But it also brings to mind a larger question. Why is it that so often Christians insist on doing the most unchristian things in the name of Christ? Jesus was very clear that we would not know the day and time of his return. "But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." (Matthew 24:36) So why have people set and proclaimed the date of Jesus' return over and over and over again? This Camping guy set the date earlier and obviously missed it (We are all still here.).

Jesus clearly and distinctly told his followers not to judge others. Christians are famous for being the most judgmental people on earth.

When asked to describe God, the Biblical writer just replied, "God is love." And often the God we Christians preach is a God of wrath and retribution.

Jesus gave us a very unambiguous command. Love one another. And then we Christians living in the same community can't even stand to go to worship together. We argue with and divide from other believers instead of holding one another close in loving relationships. And if you don't claim to be a believer we treat you like you have a dread disease.

Jesus said the most important command is to love God with everything we have. And then we don't even bother to go to worship once a week. Or give in support of the ministries of the church. Or read the Bible. Or pray. And then we claim to love God. Really?

If Jesus does return today, I believe the first thing he will do is lay his hands on the church and pray that we are healed of stupidity.

Clean Your Room

2011-05-21T11:58:00.001-04:00

I want to share with you a parable written by a preacher friend of mine.

The Church of Clean

The other day I asked my 12 year-old daughter to clean her room. About an hour later I inquired if the task was finished. She responded, "Dad, I gathered with other kids who were asked to clean their room. We sang songs about room-cleaning, read a passage from the room-cleaning manual and listened to a great speaker about room-cleaning!"

But the room was still a mess.

A day went by and I asked my daughter about her room. She replied, "Dad, I met with a small group of other kids who were asked to clean their room. We studied a book about room-cleaning, prayed that all our rooms would be cleaned and encouraged each other to be faithful room-cleaners!"

But the room was still a mess.

Another day went by and I again asked her about the room. She joyfully answered, "Dad, I just got back from a convention in Nashville (An obvious reference to our denomination's Assembly coming up this summer) where thousands met to praise and encourage room-cleaning! I even attended several seminars by leading room-cleaners on best practices and organizational structures for room-cleaning!"

But the room was still a mess.

Finally, after another day had passed, I asked her if her room was clean. She sternly told me, "I like the way my room is. It has been this way for 40 years. If it was good enough then, it is good enough now. I don't want to change a thing about it."

Yet, the room was a mess.

Jesus commissioned us, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Yet ...

The Rack

2011-05-10T13:57:00.008-04:00

I am reposting a blog I published a few weeks ago because I have found more information and a copy of the commercial I had been looking for on YouTube.

Let me admit something right from the start. I am not working at the moment (Also known as unemployed.) and am having a difficult time adjusting to not going to work every day. Working long hours almost every day for 40 years can become habit forming. Without work to do I fill my days reading, writing and watching television. Thank God the Cincinnati Reds are interesting to watch this year. That team may be my salvation.

As you will soon see, I am watching waaaay too much television. I am watching all kinds of shows on all kinds of channels at all times of the day and night. I must agree with Pink Floyd who observed something to the effect that there are a lot of channels showing a lot of sh.., er, stuff. There are a few channels that I tune to the most – Discovery, National Geographic, History Channel, the Military Channel and the SyFy Channel. I have an undergraduate degree with a minor in history so I am figuring that about four more hours of watching programming about WWII and I should be set for a Masters Degree. I have learned the skills to survive in any part of the world; I can name the most important airplanes used by our military over the past half century; I am pretty sure I could qualify to work on an Alaskan crab boat as long as I don’t have to work for Captain Sig; I am totally convinced that our government is covering up evidence of alien landings and I am certain that I see ghosts on a regular basis and have started listening to old sermons to see if I can find any EVPs (Electronic Voice Phenomenon).

With a lot to think about and lots of decisions to make, I find it difficult to sleep. Thus I am often up watching TV in the middle of the night. My observation is that they do not save the best programs for 3:00 a.m. Most of the movies “star” people I have never heard of and, though I was a fan of Cheers, the third time around the humor looses a bit of its punch. At least, in my opinion. They also don’t pull out all stops to show the high quality commercials at 0’ dark thirty in the morning. Most of them are infomercials. No matter what the product, they all seem to feature the same spokespersons.

I am a bit of a fan of commercials. The commercials are often the most entertaining part of the programs. Okay, most commercials are pretty lame. But some companies have managed to find awesome advertizing agencies that make great commercial. The Geico® commercials are generally pretty good. My favorite is the one that asks, “Does a former Drill Sergeant make a terrible therapist?” Watch it here. For some odd reason several of the folks that I have counseled have mentioned that the commercial reminds them of me. Go figure. I also love the talking baby E-Trade commercials. I love this one and this one. You have to admit, these are hilarious. See, I was right. The commercials are the best part of television.

Several people have asked why I have lost so much weight the past few months. It is not the diet. It is not an exercise regimen. It is from watching late night TV. Just about the only thing on at 3:00 in the morning are commercials for diet programs and infomercials for exercise equipment. That and commercials for bras for full figured people. My theory is that my weight loss is due to my viewing preferences. The satisfied customers featured on the commercials claim that if I would only purchase the right diet plan/book or sign up for the correct food plan or if I will invest in some stomach surgery or if I will spend 60 days doing the latest exercise program I will lose between 10 and 100 pounds. I lost 35 pounds by just watching the commercials. Perhaps I should make an infomercial for my sit on your butt and watch TV diet plan.

My favorite exercise program is one called Insanity®. What highly paid consultant chose that name? From my life perspective it makes sense to call any exercise program insanity. I still clearly remember summer football two-a-day practices. That was insanity. About two days into the program you learned to not eat in the morning before practice or you might throw up. Eat a big lunch so that some stomach content was available to chuck on the ground during afternoon drills. By the time you got home in the evening you were so tired you skipped supper and went to bed. Then it was up early the next morning to repeat the cycle. That was insanity. By the way, it did cause weight loss.

There are bunches of exercise machines on the market. There are exercise machines that will tighten your abs, the long time favorite Bow-Flex®, a big ball to roll around on, bars to hang on a door frame for pull-ups, saucers for sit-ups, free weights, rowing machines, treadmills, the Stair Master® which gives you a couple of steps to walk up and down (we have built in steps at our house so we weren’t interested), shake weights that vibrate your arms as you lift them, things to enhance your abs and your buns at the same time and the list can go on and on. I am often impressed at the simplicity of these exercise tools and the stupidity of the thousands of people who would purchase them.

But a new product has hit the market that surpasses all the competition. It is called “The Rack”TM. Today I finally found some footage of the commercial on YouTube. Check it out here. You will see why the commercial for this new exercise/weight loss tool that has caught my eye. It is simple and the commercial promises some amazing results. I love how the commercial starts with footage of a gorgeous guy with an amazing body and the announcer asking, “Would you like a body like this.” Frankly, I’m not terribly interested but I bet my wife would. (Wink, wink.) But the best thing about it, the thing that has just blown me away, is that I have seen these exercise machines for decades being used by some of the more elderly of my friends. They sent one of these things home with me from the hospital following my knee surgery. The commercial calls it a great exercise tool. One of my friends calls her’s a walker. I swear to you. In these infomercials they are selling high strength, heavy duty, and foldable walkers as the latest in exercise equipment. After the shock wore off and I stopped laughing I couldn’t help thinking, “Why didn’t I think of that?” I am too logical, perhaps.

Copyright © 2011, William T. McConnell, All Rights Reserved

Where is the Easter Bunny Suit

2011-04-26T19:43:00.001-04:00

When attempting to do a church transformation and move a church from dying to growing; from inward focused to outward focused; from self serving to mission oriented; from doing church in ways that they like and starting to realize that the church exists to bring people into the family of God and to help them grow to spiritual maturity; that transformation calls for thinking and doing things differently. It takes some huge changes to move the church from being a member center institution to a movement of God that exists for the people who are not yet there. It is important for the leadership to pick that fights carefully. I haven't always done that.

I had not been at First Christian Church very long before I took on Santa Claus. Don't get me wrong, I like Santa Claus. Over the years he has brought me some really nice stuff. It just I don't like Santa in church. I think the children get more than enough Santa outside of the church. They get Santa at home; in the mall; at school; on television. We suffer from Santa saturation. How about, at church, we emphasize something a little different about Christmas. Call me a fanatic. Call me a fundamentalist. Perhaps you might call me a Christian. But I suggest we emphasize Jesus during Christmas at church. It is just a thought. And I soon discovered it was not a popular thought shared by many. When I insisted that Santa not show up at the church Christmas party one would have thought Jesus turned over in his grave. (Joke – get it?) The proverbial poo-goo hit the fan.

Not only was I accused of being a killjoy and a party pooper, I was charged with being un-American and un-Christian. I was a bad person. I have always wondered what the response would have been if I had left the mention of Jesus out of the Christmas festivities? Honestly, I am not sure it would have been noticed. Little did I know I was in for an emotional beating for ousting Santa from the Church Christmas party. We had, instead, a birthday party for Jesus. We had cake and ice cream and candy and gifts and singing and lots of fun. Just no Santa. We made Jesus the guest of honor. I thought it was a good idea. Still do.

Later, as I gathered more information, I learned that I had not only banned Santa from church, I had demeaned the memory of Byron Rupp. I never met Byron; he died years before I arrived in Harrison, Ohio. But I feel as though I have known him. Byron was the owner of the Harrison Bakery. He was short and round and kind and fun and Byron made the best Santa Claus you can imagine. He loved playing Santa and he was the reason the church had such a long and emotional connection to the jolly old elf. Byron showed up all over town playing the part of Santa. The kids loved him. He was the perfect Santa. So, when I banned Santa, I also banned the spirit of the late Byron Rupp. It was a very emotional issue tied up with years of wonderful memories. I had not just stepped on some toes; I had smacked some people in the face. My bad.

Anyway, Christmas without Santa had set my reputation as a killjoy. It seemed like no time at all and here came Easter. And with Easter, in this particular church, came the Easter Bunny. They had a long tradition of the Saturday before Easter hosting an Easter party and Easter egg hunt along with a visit from the Easter Bunny. Many years earlier they had invested what must have been a substantial sum of money in a very nice Easter Bunny suit. It was huge and zipped up the back. Following the shellacking I took for banning Santa, I quietly endured the invasion of the Easter Bunny, In fact, one year one of my boys filled the suit and entertained the kids. Over the years we did slowly shuffle the Bunny more and more to the sidelines. About three or four years into the deal, the Easter Bunny suit disappeared. Really, we went to find it in the usual storage place and no bunny. We asked around to see if it had been loaned out to someone who had forgotten to return it. No luck. If you belong to a church you know what happened next. The rumors flew.

Guess who was accused of disposing of the Easter Bunny suit? Good guess –if you guessed mister party pooper, yours truly. Of course, this being a church, no one accused me to my face. But the stories rolled back to me. I had sneaked in under the cover of night and made off with the Bunny suit. I was a bad, bunny hating religious fanatic. I am sure some people would have accused me of being leporiphobic if they had had a clue what it meant. (Leporiphobia: An abnormal, persistent fear of rabbits generally and, for some, the Easter Bunny specifically.) For over 15 years I have consistently maintained my innocence. The response to my defense about the bunny suit and several other charges that have been leveled against me over the years have helped me come to understand that one can be innocent of the charges but if someone thinks you did it, there is no way to convince them otherwise – you did it.

Within a year the information came to me that several of my loyal opposition had pooled their resources and purchased a new bunny suit. I never saw the suit. They didn't trust me to be in the same room with it. All of these years and they have kept the "new" bunny suit hidden from the evil, wicked, mean, bad and nasty bunny suit stealer.

I kid you not when I tell you that at my last worship service at the church, someone mentioned that they still wondered what I did with the Easter Bunny suit.

It was at a meeting of the Elders during my last week at the church that the mystery was finally solved for me. We were spending some time wandering down memory lane looking back on my almost 20 years at the church. Lo and behold the story of the Easter Bunny suit came up. As we were laughing about all the stories that had circulated about me and the suit, one of my Elders quietly admitted to the group that she had, in fact, given the suit to the Presbyterians those many years ago. I couldn't believe it. All of those years she had left me holding the bag. When I asked her why she did it she simply explained, "That bunny suit gave me the creeps." End of story. End of mystery.

So, there; I told you I didn't steal your stinking old bunny suit.

The Last, Last Supper

2011-04-15T14:30:00.002-04:00

As I continue to reflect on my ministry ending in Harrison, I want to share with you an experience I wrote about over 15 years ago.

Would it be rolling, roaring, earth shattering peals of thunder, smoke, burning bushes, and bolts of lightning? Would it be a wild man with a beard, wearing an animal skin or a bright, shining angel appearing from nowhere? These are the images I carry in my head as I imagine a visitation from God. Haven't you ever wondered, if God spoke to you, what would it look and sound like? No doubt He would use lots of Hollywood-like special effects. God would have to hire Stephen Spielberg to be his producer and director.

Well, it happened to me. I spent some time with God yesterday. No smoke and fire and I didn't hear any thunder. Nothing earth shattering – just love and tears and kisses and gentle nudges. Yesterday, I went to visit an older member of the church I serve. And God was there.

Like most people I take the time to get to know, she is a special person. She is strong, loving, interesting, smart, fun to be with and she has beautiful brown eyes. As you may have already guessed, I love her. She is the grandma I never had. The other thing you must know about her is that she is dying.

Being a physical person and a visual learner, I should have seen God coming. As the drama unfolded before me, I did begin to see God's leading and presence. The first nudge I felt from God was a desire to take her communion. It is unusual for me to do communion since the elders of the church usually take it to the sick and shut-in. Fortunately I respond to that leading. The second nudge was during the preparation of the communion kit. Instead of packing two communion cups in the little black box, (one for her and one for me) I felt like I should bring along a handful. I had no idea why.

When I pulled into the driveway I was surprised to see so many vehicles there. Entering the house, I found several family members were visiting. My first thought was that, with so many people in the house, I should just forget about the idea of having communion. My idea of communion was just her and me, not a crowd. If I had wanted to take communion with a bunch of people I could go to church Sunday morning. When I asked the family, they said she was very tired and had not been doing much communicating. They were having trouble understanding what she wanted and what she was saying. But the mention of sharing in communion perked her right up. When her daughter asked, "Mom, would you like some communion?" her head popped up and she answered loud and clear, "Yes, I would." I began to sense the presence of God.

As I began preparation for the service I asked around to see if anyone else wanted to join us. All this time, more family kept coming in the drive. I could see them arriving through the bedroom window. The presence of God was getting thick. I could see – literally see – Him bringing the family together for something special. When we gathered in the bedroom, nine of us were communing together. It was cramped and crowded in the small bedroom. I had used up all the communion elements I had brought. It was not what I had planned or expected. I wasn't completely comfortable. But it was wonderful. It was a holy time.

We joined hands and prayed, thanking God for the gift of life, the gift of sharing our lives together, the gift of her special life and the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ. Then I spoke the familiar words of Christ. "This is my body, broken for you. Take and eat. This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Drink of it, all of you." I spoke and we wept. Those familiar words reminded us of God's marvelous love... of lives and moments shared. And it reminded us that we would never again share together in this celebration of life in this world. But we were also reminded that we would share life together again in eternity.

Everyone in the room was in tears. Everyone except that special lady. For us this was, in some sadly special way, our last, Last Supper. Our last time to share this holy meal with her. For us, it was an ending. For her, it was a new beginning.

I got the call early this morning. She had answered her Father's call, "It's time to come home for supper."

Rounding Third and Heading for …

2011-04-14T17:27:00.005-04:00

It is the middle of my last week working at the church I have served over half of my time in ministry – almost 20 years. And life feels surreal.

Everything feels somehow extremely familiar and somehow very different. It is no doubt connected to knowing that within a few days everything I had become accustomed to will be changed. Living in the same house for about as long as I have ever lived in a house. Coming to the office. Seeing great friends. Lunch with the staff. Fielding phone calls with some very familiar voices on the other end. I still remember how surprised I was many years ago when I called the Brogden's home. Their older daughter Elizabeth, at the time a pre-teen, answered. All I said was, "Could I speak to your mother?" She put her hand over the receiver and yelled, "Mom, its Bill." I couldn't believe she knew it was me. When Susan came to the phone I told her how shocked it was that Elizabeth knew it was me. Susan just said, in a tone that spoke volumes about how dumb she thought I was, "Of course she recognized your voice." I will miss that.

Reading the last paragraph it is obvious that my mind wanders a lot lately. It wanders back to some wonderful old memories. I think of the amazing folks I have been privileged to know over the years that are now gone. I was with several of them as they passed over to the other side. These are sweet, precious memories. My mind wanders to some of the folks I have crossed swords with in those nasty church battles. Fortunately most of them have remained friends. I think of the kids I have watched grow up and have kids of their own. I remember being transported into the presence of God through some of the most amazing worship I have ever experienced. I think of the laughter shared and I think of the tears we shed together. I remember standing around a hospital bed as members of the choir sang some favorite hymns for Ruth Ann Kendrick and weeping so I couldn't choke out a prayer when called upon to close our time together. I remember the look of peace in her eyes and the sweetness of her smile when I asked Beryl Roever if she was ready to die. I think of the twinkle in Don Evan's eyes when he would say, "I just can't wait to see what God is going to do next."

Notice that my mind rarely wanders back to special programs or buildings or board meetings. Those were all good. But it is the people I will miss. So many people who loved me and challenged me and made me think. People who prayed for me, who prayed with me, who encouraged me, who bound up my wounds, who laughed with me and who laughed at me. People who were willing to do church in ways they had never done it before. People who found great joy in serving others. People who were just plain fun to be with. Lord, I will miss the people.

I was thinking of the late Joe Nuxall, Cincinnati Reds pitcher and radio announcer. He would always end his broadcast by saying, "This is the ol' left-hander rounding third and heading for home." Perhaps I can end my time of ministering in Harrison by saying, "This is the old left-hander rounding third and heading for… "

Thanks for the memories. It has been a great ride.

Body Image

2011-04-04T16:25:00.006-04:00

What a weekend. For the first time in a few months, I spent the weekend traveling for a speaking engagement. I had no idea it would be such an enlightening and humbling experience. On my travels I was scanned (twice), frisked, stared at, snickered at and sent to C-8.

This was my first time through airport security at Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport (CVG) since the full body scanners have been put in place. I dutifully got in line and started the drill. I show my boarding pass and picture ID and put those away. Next I take off my shoes and put them in the container to be scanned. I take anything metallic out of my pockets and put it in the container. Next I drag my laptop computer out of my bag and put it in a container. I take off my belt and put it in the container and remember to hold up my pants. I remembered to take any liquids out of my bag and put them in a container. Then I start the containers and my bag through the scanner.

One must wait for the command and then enter the scanner. Instructions are given to face to the right and hold your hands up over your head with your palms out. Oops, there go the pants. After a few seconds I was instructed to step out of the scanner and stand on a mat with the exact spots to place my feet indicated. About six inches in front of me stood a very pleasant TSA worker blocking my path. She told me to stand right there and informed me that my body image was being assessed at this time by a person in another room. Now I can't swear this is exactly what happened next, but I am pretty sure she looked me over and snickered. There was a look on her face that said to me, "This is one of those times I am so happy my job is out here and not in there." She didn't say anything, but that was the message I received.

Perhaps, if you have never met me, you wonder why I would think such a thing. My discomfort makes more sense if you realize that back in my playing days I was six feet tall and weighed 180 pounds. Now, several years later, I am one inch shorter and almost 100 pounds heavier. Needless to say, the TSA workers are not in some back room arm wrestling for the pleasure of working in the scanner room when I pass through the system. So, I endured the snicker.

I arrived in Raleigh and found my way to the rent-a-car pickup place. At the counter I was served by a very nice man. He asked for the required photo ID and credit card and looked up my reservation. He informed me that I was signed up for a mid-sized car and just stared at me. I stared back. He then asked, "Will a mid-sized car be sufficient for you?" Sufficient for me? What does that mean? Cool enough for me? Stylish enough to suit a cool dude like me? Do I have so much luggage that I need a car with a bigger trunk? What? "Yes," I said, "a mid-size car will be fine." He shook his head and continued the paper work. He explained all the options available to me that would cost more money. I said no. He shook his head and continued the paper work. Finally he handed me a packet of paper and sent me in search of my car that awaited me in slot C-8.

I headed out into the lot looking for a mid-sized car: a Honda Accord; a Toyota Camry; a Buick or a Volvo. I didn't want much, just something with some leg and head room and a radio that works. I found the C row and started down the row at space 1. A Honda Accord. Red. Nice. But not my car. As I got nearer to C-8 I started thinking the clerk had made a mistake. It didn't look like there was a car in C-8. It wasn't until I arrived at my assigned slot that I could even tell there was a car parked there. I stood there, looked the car over and thought, this roller skate with an engine they are leasing me is a mid-sized car? You have got to be kidding. No wonder the clerk had stared at me. He wasn't worried about my luggage fitting in the car he was renting me; he was wondering if I would fit in the car I was leasing.

I crammed myself into my "mid-sized" rental car and off I went to my speaking engagement. North Carolina was beautiful. The Barton College campus was beautiful. The people in North Carolina are beautiful. I had a wonderful time. In all too short a time, I was back at the airport for more screening and humiliation.

After dropping off my rented roller skate/mid-sized car, I was bussed back to the airport. Like everyone else I rushed back into the security screening line - you would have thought they were giving out free gifts - where I joined hundreds of other travelers as we obediently entered into the security shuffle routine. Boarding pass and picture ID – check. Metal out of pockets, belt off, shoes off, laptop out of baggage, liquids in a separate container – check. Step into the scanner, hands up and hold still. Upon leaving the scanner this time another pleasant TSA worker informed me that I had failed the scan and would need to be patted down. That is TSA speak for frisked. Failed the scan - I thought, what does that mean? I have a tumor? I broke the machine? My naked body was too much for the screener to endure? How I could I fail the scan. As it turns out, I had left some paper in my pockets that came up on the scan. I was still going by the old metal only technology and didn't realize that EVERYTHING had to come out of my pockets. So, I was going to get the famous TSA pat down.

The large pleasant man blocking my path called out for "male assistance." Obviously TSA speak for a male worker to come over here and pat this guy down. And nothing happened. We waited about a minute and then he got on his radio with the same request for "male assistance." Nothing. We stood there for a couple of minutes and stared at each other. I finally said, "It's a good thing this isn't an emergency." He agreed and again called out for "male assistance." Looking around at the several dozen TSA employees in the immediate area I begin thinking, nobody wants this job – nobody is interested in frisking bubba. We were waiting and it was getting embarrassing. Two more pleas for "male assistance" were sent out before help finally arrived. The guy who showed up to frisk me was just plain scary looking. He was scruffy, wearing a wrinkled shirt, unshaven, wild eyed and spoke with slurred speech. Where, I wonder, do they keep this dude locked up between frisks? On the bright side, he did look extremely pleased to be there.

Well, I got frisked. Boy did I get frisked. I flew home on the plane rolled up in fetal position and rushed home and took a shower.

Fortunately I don't have to fly again for a couple of months. I think I will get ready for my next trip by joining the gym.

Will Work for Food

2011-03-28T17:00:00.003-04:00

For what seems like at least the last ten years, there was a man standing at one of the interstate highway exits near the University of Cincinnati holding a sign that read, "Will work for food." I will admit that every time I saw him I couldn't help thinking, "Well, yes. Me too. I work for food." I am beginning to believe I was wrong. I am beginning to think that I don't work for food… or clothing… or housing.

Since recently resigning my position at the church I have been serving for almost 20 years I am, for the first time in over a quarter of a century, looking at the possibility of being unemployed. I am, quite honestly, surprised at how the prospect of not having a job has unnerved me. I will admit that the cessation of income is a bit bothersome but not earth shaking. As my childhood pastor once said, "I am not hung up on money, but my creditors sure are." Fortunately, other than a mortgage, I have no creditors. That aside, having money for things like gasoline (Soon to become a major purchase.) and food and clothes does sound like a good thing. And health insurance… health insurance would be good. Making the house payments would be nice.

But as I watch and wait and listen and look for where God might lead me next, I am beginning to realize that I don't just work for food… or money or the stuff that money enables me to buy. I work for a whole lot more than that. My work, doing ministry, brings meaning and purpose and fulfillment to my life. I am told by some of my friends and colleagues that I am supposed to find meaning and purpose in other ways and what I do is just a job. And on some level, they may be correct. But I don't fully agree with them. Not since my work is ministry. Being a Christian is not something I do, it is who I am. And doing ministry is not an activity, it is not a profession, it is not a vocation, it is not a job. For me, it is a way of life… a calling of God.

So, as I pray and seek God's will for my future, I am discovering that I don't work for food. I work to fulfill God's purpose for my life. But go ahead and send the check.

Resignation

2011-02-25T14:24:00.002-05:00

This past week I sent a letter of resignation to the members and friends of Legacy Christian Church. I hated writing a letter of resignation.

I don't like that word – resignation. It sounds so negative to me. If feels and sounds like I am quitting and I am not. It sounds like I have failed, and that is not the case. I am leaving this church. But I am not unhappy. I haven't been forced out. I am not disappointed. It is just simply time for me to move on. The only thing negative about the whole deal (From my perspective) is that I have to leave some of the most important people in my life. While in Harrison I have formed some of the deepest and most meaningful relationships of my life. And when I leave these relationships will be forever changed. They will not end but they will surely be profoundly changed. And I hate that.

In the years I have served God in Harrison, I have consistently been a change agent. I have suggested changes, I have led us in changing, I have encouraged us as a church to try new things. For this reason most people have concluded that I like change. The truth is I hate change. I hate changing and I hate being around people and things that are changing. But I have consistently been an agent of change because without change this church would not have survived. Instead of being the pastor with the longest tenure, I would have had the distinction of being the last pastor to serve the church. At the rate it was dying, First Christian Church of Harrison did not have 20 years of life left in it. Unfortunately, that is true of many mainline denominational churches. And just as unfortunate is the fact that most church members and most church leaders are totally unaware of that reality.

Yes, I am all about change. But I don't like it. My deal is that as much as I dislike change, I dislike overseeing the death of a church even more. More churches than you can imagine are facing that same choice and I am consistently amazed how many choose death over change.

As much as I am struggling with change personally, on the other hand, I am extremely excited about the future of this church. Before I arrived on the scene, the pastor that preceded me called me and told me, "This church has unlimited potential." Under my tenure our church has become an example of the good things that can happen in a church in the 21st Century. Churches from all over the U.S. look at Legacy as an example of a strong, healthy church. But I don't think we have seen anything yet. I believe that what Rev. Zimmerman said to me almost 20 years ago is still true - this church has unlimited potential and possibilities.

As your pastor and friend I want to strongly urge you to look to God, look to the future and take this church where God intends it to go. I know I will be watching, smiling and praying.

You will always have my love and prayers.

Breaking Down

2011-02-07T16:26:00.002-05:00

One of the harsh realities of aging is that the body starts stopping. As a whole, as a unit, it just doesn't work as well as it once did.

For some of us this is extremely bad news because our bodies never worked that well to begin with. I remember one of my football coaches observing that what I lacked in physical abilities I made up for in lack of speed. Each year at our first spring baseball practice the coach would time us as we ran around the bases. I was somewhat offended when my turn came and the coach traded in his stopwatch for an hourglass. He thought that was funny.

Aging is a fact of life. Some parts break down and some parts fall off and some parts need to be removed. It is just the way it is. I remember on a hot summer day in Mitchellville, Iowa, following the annual 4^th of July parade, standing and watching a 93 year old farmer friend climb down off his huge John Deere® tractor. Thinking back on the moment, I should have timed him. It took him what seemed like forever. I am sure it was at least five minutes. I was not the only one who noticed the time taken to dismount. After his feet were firmly planted on the ground he turned to me and in typical Iowan candor said, "Getting old isn't bad, it is just so damned inconvenient." Now, almost 40 years later, I would reply, "Amen, brother."

It seems that men notice the aging process much earlier, much younger, than women. Men in their 30's are often heard bemoaning the loss of youth while the female closest to them looks on in wonder and disbelief. Perhaps we men notice the slowing and breakdown of our physical abilities because we have spent the early years of life pushing our bodies to the limits and thus notice the early stages of loss. Many of us have pushed ourselves to the edge while playing sports. Some of us have gone to the edge just doing some of the stupid things boys talk other stupid boys into trying. I was still pretty young when I realized that I would never realize my dream of playing professional sports. I am sure everyone around me noticed it much sooner than I did. There is nothing like denial to keep the hopeless hopeful.

Like everyone else I have lost some abilities along the way. I never could see all that well. I have also lost some parts though I will admit I don't really miss my gall bladder or my appendix. Some parts are breaking down. I should be concerned that my pancreas is pooping out, my kidneys are cashing out my arteries are filling up and my mind is getting lost. But I'm not. What bothers me the most is that my little finger on my left hand will no longer straighten out. It is crimped in a permanent curl. One has to look closely to notice. But it is driving me nuts. A friend opined that I shouldn't be concerned because the way it is curled means I can still easily hold a beverage can. (I won't bother revealing which beverage he was referring to.) But I spend a part of almost every day writing and writing calls for typing. It is amazing how much more difficult it is to type with a finger that doesn't work.

Oh, well. As my friend said so many years ago, getting old is inconvenient.

Texting

2011-01-28T16:21:00.002-05:00

One of my best friends described me to a group he was speaking to as, "The youngest thinking old guy you will ever meet." Thanks, I guess.

I do try, in some ways, to keep up-to-date. But long ago I gave up on being cool or hip or with it. It is my belief that if you are past the age of 23 and still interested in being cool: first of all, it isn't going to happen and secondly, you are suffering from arrested development. Anyone in their mid twenties or older who is concerned with being cool needs to hear this important message – GROW UP. Cool is for teenagers and people who want to sell something to teenagers – people like pop singing stars and movie makers. The rest of us can just move on with life. Having been around for several decades and having served for most of those decades in the church I can say with some assurance that the world needs grown-ups and there seem to be several openings available.

If you are still interested in being cool, let me give you an exercise to do that will help you move past such a ridiculous notion. I have been around long enough to have pictures of me and others of my generation's historic attempts at coolness. Every time I think about being cool or watch some younger folks knock themselves out trying to be cool, I just take a look at some old pictures. I am talking about pictures of me with my long hair from the 60's and my bellbottom pants and leisure suits from the 70's, the mullets of the 80's and the "let's pierce our eyeballs" look of the 90's. There has never been a time that cool doesn't, in retrospect, end up looking much more like fool.

My research tells me that our fixation on somehow being cool is a relatively new phenomenon. History tells us that the idea of being special or cool or hip is only a couple hundred years old. Perhaps before then everyone was mainly concerned with just staying alive, keeping warm and finding enough to eat that they didn't have the spare time, energy or money to invest in cool. But now it is all about being cool. Billions of dollars are spent each year in the pursuit of cool. Careers rise and fall on coolness. Teens, and way too many adults, live just to be cool. There are car commercials that tout owning a certain car because cool parents drive cool cars. Children star in the commercials. Children have become advisers on the wisdom of a car purchase. In the commercials the children of nerd parents are ashamed of their un-cool parents and looked down upon by their friends with cool parents driving cool cars. So for those of us who have not yet made the treacherous trip to adulthood, cool is where it is at and children set the standard. If you have been to college you already know that the only thing worse than not being cool is not being open minded.

So, when I say I try to stay up-to-date, I am not talking about being cool. By up-to-date, I mean that I am trying to stay in communication with the people around me. Sometimes that is a challenge. The language changes all of the time. The methods of communication have changed radically during my lifetime. In the first era of my communication life, we did things like write notes and letters. These were written with pens and pencils on actual paper and delivered to the person or persons we wanted to read it.

Next, in my early teens, came the telephone. These were not carried in our pockets. They sat on a table or hung on the wall. Telephone time was limited with the limits set by my parents. Though they weren't, you would have thought they were paying by the minute. Which we did for long distance calls – a lot per minute. Long distance calls were calls made to a friend or relative who lived more than shouting distance away. The farther away they lived the more you paid for the call. You could make collect calls and the person being called paid for the call. These became useful after I had moved away from my parents. We used coded messages to communicate without paying the charges. Like when my first child was born. He was born not long after man first walked on the moon. So, when my in-laws were asked by the operator if they would accept a collect call from "The Eagle has landed," they refused the call and knew, free of charge, that they had a new grandson. Slick. There is no other word for it. We were slick.

The next communication device to arrive on the scene was the CB radio. It seemed like everyone had one and nobody who had one could stop talking on it. We put them in our cars and we had them in our homes. Instead of going by our names we made up names to use on the radio. They were called "handles." Mine was Cookie Monster. The reason I chose that particular handle has its roots in my theological understanding of eschatology. That and it is the first thing that popped into my mind the first time I was on the CB and somebody asked me what my handle was. It was a fun time.

The next communication devices to come on the scene were pagers. They were less a convenience and more of a long leash. Not much communication came through them. Just people checking to see where I was and wanting me to do something for them. It was not long before the first portable phones came on the market. They were not called cell phones and were expensive enough that only the rich had them. Needless to say, I didn't have one.

E-mail became popular. It still is. I do almost all of my communicating via e-mail. If you don't have e-mail, we can't be friends. Generally speaking, e-mail is free, fast, and you can get a message to anyone, anyplace in the world in seconds. Along with e-mail came instant messaging.

Now there is texting. It seems to me that it is younger people who text. Few of them e-mail anymore. Cell phones come with keyboards and texting plans. You pay extra to send texts. So, instead of the inconvenience of dialing a phone number (7 characters), we text each other (Somewhere between 20 and 200 characters.) Obviously we text because it is such a time saver? My guess is we text so we don't have to actually talk to the other person. That is way too personal. If I text I can be rude, crude and socially unacceptable and nobody is going to get right back in my face about it.

Anyway, now we are texting. So, in my eternal struggle to keep communicating, to stay up-to-date, now I am texting. If I want to communicate with my children I send them an e-mail, wait two days for a reply, give up and then text them. They respond almost immediately to the text. I lead a young adult Life Group. We communicate via texting. I love texting – NOT. Probably because I am not good at it. I can type over 75 words a minute. I can text about 75 words per hours. It takes me forever. But I am doing it because I want to stay up-to-date. I want to communicate.

Texting has a code. This code is groupings of letters that are generally accepted to mean certain things and replace the need to type out full phrases. I really don't know what most of the code means. But a dear friend who is not quite as old as I sent me the following texting code for the senior set. She titled it STC – Senior Texting Codes:

BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FYI: Found Your Insulin
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL…CGU: Rolling On the Floor Laughing...Can't Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder

Anyway, if you need me, text me. I'll be your BFF (Best Forever Friend). Just give me an hour or two to reply. I am typing as fast as I can.

Winter Woes

2011-01-13T18:52:00.002-05:00

It is snowing today. AGAIN!!

I like winter okay. And I think snow is just fine. I am a huge fan of changing seasons. I love watching, hearing and smelling the changing of seasons. I would hate to live someplace where the changing of the seasons brought very little change.

But this winter, with an almost daily snow fall, reminds me of what my dad used to say about the grandchildren. With a huge smile on his face he would say, "I am glad to see them come and glad to see them go." I guess because I am a younger grandfather, I never am happy to see my grandchildren go. If I had my way they would all live with us. But, on the other hand, I was happy to see this winter come and I will be thrilled to see it go.

When I say I am okay with winter that does not mean I like winter. I don't like wearing a heavy coat and gloves. I don't like having to keep up with that coat and gloves. I don't like cleaning frost and ice and snow off my windshield every day. The cold wind just cuts right through me. I hate the short days and long nights. I am a person who NEEDS sunshine. Every chance I get I buy a convertible and if it is sunny and the temperature is above 65° I am out driving around with the top down. Snow is pretty and I love to watch it fall. But flowers and grass and leaves on trees are prettier.

There are times in my life, especially during the winter, when a little phrase in the Bible comes to mind and gives me hope. They are not the oft quoted, well known, powerful words of hope and wisdom from God that most believers usually think of. They are not some of the words of King David recorded in Psalms. They are not any of the great ideas and concept of Proverbs. They are the simple little words, "It came to pass." What you and I are struggling with today, the things in our lives that seem almost overwhelming at the moment, the challenges that are more than we can get our minds around, all of these things, they came to pass. They will pass. There will be a new day. Things will get better.

Christians like sayings and often times saying are nice and cute but not really all that helpful. But a very valid saying that has been around and popular for several years is: "God is good - all the time. All the time - God is good." The reality is, life isn't good all the time. And let's stop playing that silly pseudo Christian game where we pretend like life is always wonderful and I don't have a care in the world because I have Jesus in my life. Life isn't always good, but God is and that is where I place my faith and hope.

By the way - I do hope it stops snowing soon. I whole heartedly believe – I have faith – that this winter came to pass.

I Love a Parade

2011-01-05T15:37:00.002-05:00

In memory and in honor of my father, each year, at the first of the year, I repost this article. It is the first writing I ever had published.

As a pastor, it is not uncommon for me to be around and able to observe a family lose a loved one to a progressive disease like cancer. Always painful, it is also wonderfully touching and life enriching to see love shared, life made more meaningful because of its brevity, every drop squeezed from each moment because they are suddenly of very short supply. I am touched and I am reminded of going through that process with my father.

My father died over 20 years ago and rarely does a week pass that I don't wish I had a chance to talk to him. A few years after his death, I was motivated to write the first piece I ever had published. Allow me to share those thoughts with you at the beginning of this year

I love a good parade. I even like bad parades. I have seen both kinds. Some really stick in my memory.

The 1970 Memorial Day Parade in Waddy, Kentucky (yes, that is the town's real name) immediately springs to mind. The town folks had been talking about the Memorial Day Parade for weeks before the event and I was getting rather excited about it. One couldn't spend any time in the local grocery store without the conversation turning to the parade. Plans and preparations were being made. It seemed that most of the people in the little town were going to be participating.

My family and I passed up several offers so we could be sure to be there for the "big" parade. I will admit that the offers we received were not all that tempting. But we did make a conscious decision to be around for the big parade. At the appointed time we took our places on the sidewalk of the main drag. I must be fair and tell you that Waddy in 1970 was a community of about 255 people and the main drag was the only drag. And there were not very many feet of sidewalk to get on. Since most of the residents were in the parade, finding a place to watch it wasn't difficult. We didn't have to come down the night before and stake out our space. Showing up ten minutes before parade time worked out fine.

We didn't have to wait long before the action started. Here came the parade. It was absolutely wonderful. Strung out for several feet behind the town's antique and only fire truck were two shiny, brand spanking new pick up trucks. The owners had obviously spent a lot of time washing and waxing their pride and joy. One of the trucks was pulling the only float in the parade which was carrying some of the local veterans riding on a tobacco wagon. The other truck was hauling a young girl – perhaps she was Miss Waddy or Miss Shelby County. The entire local Cub Scout Pack, all six of them, were the color guard. There were bicycles and wagons and baby strollers and balloons and crept paper and sparklers and dogs, some horses and a couple of ponies. My, it was grand. One the finest parades I have ever seen. My heart was touched. I wouldn't have missed it.

There have been several other parades in my life. All of them were larger and longer. Many were more exciting and colorful and entertaining. Some were so long they became boring. A couple of them have been just plain stupid. No offense is intended (Really) but have you ever attended a gay rights parade? There is a bad idea. But none of them grander... except one. That is the parade that wandered through my parents' kitchen in the fall of 1986.

My father was very busy that fall dying of cancer of the Godknowswhat. The doctors couldn't tell where the cancer had originated but it wasn't difficult to see where it had gone. It was everywhere and Dad was so skinny by then that much of it stuck out on various parts of his body. It was horrible to watch a strong, robust, commanding man reduced to a skeleton struggling to live through each day seeking to find ways to have as little pain as possible. It was horrible, but riveting – like those slasher horror films young teens flock to watch. It was also a wonderful time of quiet conversations and opportunities to do for my father; a man who had always done for others, especially his children. Though the role reversal was a bit challenging for both of us, it was a wonderful God gift to be able to serve my father during a very difficult time.

As cancer took more and more from him and more of him from us, we were completely centered on his well being. Though not unusually tall, my dad was very strong. As a high school kid he had a job picking up milk cans from the local dairy farmers. He could hang on the back of the truck with one hand, lean out and grab a milk can in the other and swing it up into the back of the truck. That is about 140 pounds per can. Whoa, strong guy. Dad played baseball and basketball well and taught his boys how to play.

Because the degeneration of his physical body and our all consuming struggle to make him as comfortable as possible had so captured my attention, the parade that had begun had been passing before my eyes long before I noticed it.

But one those beautiful cloudless, bright blue sky, breezy autumn afternoons it burst upon my sight. For a parade, it was difficult to spot. There were no fire trucks or Cub Scouts or floats or marching bands or riders on horseback. There were no pretty young beauty queens seeking our attention or politicians seeking our votes. Most of the faces in this parade were familiar to me, although some were strangers. But they all knew my father. He was the "theme" that held this parade together. This was a parade of people, passing through my parent's spacious, warm, welcoming kitchen, in front of the reclining chair that had become Dad's chief place of residence.

They came from near and far. As close as the next door neighbor and as far as several states away. They all came to say the same thing in many different ways. They came to say, "Thank you, Mr. McConnell. You have made a difference in my life." What a wonderful thing to say! "Thanks for living and letting me be a part of your life. Your life counted for something in my life." "You have lived a life that was significant because your life powerfully impacted my life."

And what a strange mix of people it was that carried this message to my father. There were the preachers and church leaders from all over the state that Dad had prayed with and for and taught so much about how to be sensitive to the needs of others and the leading of the Lord. He helped them have more than a theoretical Christianity. There was the alcoholic who lived next door who was snubbed by the community but was proud to be called "friend" by "Mr. Mack". There were the young men of the community that had looked to my father for advice and counsel on subjects ranging from family budgeting to how to win an argument without losing a friend. There was the single mother and her children who were helped through some hard times by a man they hardly knew. There were the old people that came to thank the man who brought them meals when they were too sick to cook for themselves. There were the business associates that had worked with him for over a quarter of a century – folks who really knew him and thus knew him to be a man of integrity, courage, compassion, wisdom and humor. There were his law clients who received much more than just good legal advice from their attorney. There were the students from more than 30 years of Sunday school classes that came to thank the man who helped make God real and understandable to them. There were the Little League ball players who had become middle-aged men, wanting to thank him for being a fine baseball coach and an even better example.

They came from all over. They loved and appreciated my father and came to tell him. Dad was sick, but he was having a wonderful time. He had invested his life well. And though it was coming to, what many of us considered, a premature end, it had been a great, meaningful, full life. My dad had been successful. He grew up on a little hill farm in Robertson County, Kentucky. He had served his country in World War II. He was the first in his family to graduate from college. He worked his way through law school and was the Vice President and Treasurer of a very successful life insurance company. He had provided very well for his wife and children. He was successful. But more importantly, his life had been significant.

Fortunately, I recognized what was happening in time to join this wonderful parade. I grasped the opportunity at hand and thanked my Dad for being a fine father, good friend, wonderful teacher and excellent example. What a parade! My, it was grand. One the finest parades I have ever seen. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Connect-The-Dots

2010-12-28T17:23:00.002-05:00

I am not real big on board games or puzzles. My mind isn't wired well for doing puzzles. I don't have a puzzler personality. No doubt that says something negative about my personality. Perhaps if I were better at playing board games or figuring out puzzles, I would like them more. I cannot remember the last time I won at a board game. If you want to see something pathetic, watch me play a game of Scrabble®. I am living proof that one doesn't have to have a vast vocabulary or know how to spell to earn an advanced degree.

While visiting in a local nursing home today I was talking to one of the residents about the jigsaw puzzle she was working on. She shared with me that she had spent many, many, many hours working on an almost monochrome puzzle of two brown wolves standing on a brown rock among dried, brown grass. She had made very little progress but was elated that she had found one of the wolves' teeth. As we talked I couldn't stop thinking that when she was finished she would have carefully constructed a picture that looked just like the picture on the box the puzzle came in. I realize there is a certain sense of accomplishment that comes with solving the puzzle but still, most puzzles strike me as a waste of time. When you finish you have a sense of accomplishment from having accomplished something of very little of value. But that's just me.

There is one type of puzzle I excel at solving: connect-the-dots. Connect-the-dots puzzles are found everywhere. They are on the place mats restaurants supply for the children in your dining party. There are connect-the-dots books of puzzles. Most connect-the-dot puzzles are designed for preschoolers; a truth that could significantly impact the fact that I am good at them. It is fun watching little kids, clinched tongue between teeth, laboriously dragging the crayon from dot to dot as they seek to discover the hidden picture in the maze of dots before them.

I find it interesting that they seem to have no clue as to the picture about to emerge beneath the tip of their writing instrument. They are excited to solve the mystery of dots before them. Any adult looking over their shoulder can instantly connect the dots in his or her mind and see the completed picture without lifting a pen or pencil. I am also mystified by the lack of ability many adults seem to have when it comes to the great connect-the-dots game of life. Why is it that things happen, sometimes time and time again, bringing the same or very similar results and most times very predictable results and many people seem amazed at what has just happened to them. They seem, with a rather childlike quality, unable to connect the dots. Let me share some examples.

A lovely twenty something woman goes out for an evening of partying with friends. She has a bit too much to drink (Okay, she had way too much to drink.) and makes the decision to drive herself home. On the way home she has the fortune or misfortune (Depending on what would or could have happened if she hadn't.) to be pulled over by the police. She flunks the sobriety test is arrested and charged with DUI (Driving Under the Influence), loses her license and is hauled into court. Her response is, "Why did God do this to me?" My response to her is, "God did this? Really? This is God's fault?" She seems completely unable to connect the dots that choosing to drink and drive led directly to the outcome she is suffering. The outcome was a result of her decisions. She has no one to blame but herself. But she can't connect those dots.

Another example is of a young husband and father with a history of getting off track in his efforts to be a consistently good, godly husband and father. He doesn't do bad things; he is not a bad guy. He gets involved in not really bad things but things that take his attention away from those nearest and dearest to him – especially God. It is not easy for him to keep a consistent walk with God with all of the pushes and pulls our culture exerts on the life of a young man. He does best when he is regular in worship attendance, participates in a Christian small group, and is involved in ministry. But he slowly moves away from those things that keep him on the path. First he quits the ministry team he has been a part of and truly enjoyed. Next he and his wife drop out of their small group. It is not a really long time before their worship attendance becomes extremely spotty and then rare. Small decision after small decision after small decision and suddenly he finds that life is as he wants it to be but the marriage is not going well. His wife and family are not terribly happy with him and he and his wife are considering divorce. And then he wonders out loud, "How did this happen?" He seems completely unable to connect the dots.

I am a parent. My child doesn't like a decision I have made. In all honesty, I have tried to make the best decision possible. I have made a decision that I believe is in the child's best interests. But my child doesn't like my decision and tells me so. She tells me that I don't love her and that she doesn't love me. I don't want my child to experience such bad feelings; I want my child to be happy; I want my child to like me; I don't want to have strife in my home. So I change my decision and let my child do what she wants though I doubt it is best for her. This is not an isolated incident. This is how we do emotion business at our house. This is how decisions are made. Later in life, when my child gets older and begins making decisions on her own she tends to make short-sighted, emotionally based and unhealthy decisions. I am appalled. I am broken hearted. I am also failing to connect any dots.

A beautiful young woman is in a great marriage with the man of her dreams. They have some adorable kids and she has a fulfilling but demanding full time job. Not surprisingly, she is feeling a bit stressed. And she is probably feeling a little old what with the children starting to grow up and the slightest hint of a wrinkle or two appearing around her eyes. Life is not as exciting as it once was. There are no new babies to be excited about and she has gotten that education she was always looking forward to. Life has settled into a routine and routine is just a half step from boring. Obviously no harm would be done and it would add so much to her life if she were to go out one night every couple of weeks with her gal friends. They could go to a club, have a few drinks, flirt with some of the guys, dance a little, and just have some fun. No harm done. Oddly enough, in just a few months she finds that she is unhappy in her marriage and is considering separation. She wonders how that happened. No dots are connecting here.

A young person has a pretty good job. The work is not especially difficult, she is very qualified and the pay is about average in that industry. She is not working with her best friends and there are a couple of people at work who get on her nerves. But it is the kind of job that she can leave at work when she comes home. They don't call her in to solve problems. She is not on call. It is a basic 40 hour a week job with some occasional overtime if she wants it. She does have a problem. As a child she was the family darling and was never really held responsible for her poor behavior. If she failed to do her school work her mother would step in and cover for her. If she didn't keep her word, nothing much was said or done. Why be tough on her? After all, her parents thought, she is just a kid. When the boss got testy about poor work habits and her consistently showing up late to work, she just blew it off. She had a grumpy boss. When she got fired she was completely shocked. How dare they treat her like that? She is going to sue them. The dots don't connect.

I am a Christian with a wonderful family. I love God and want my children to grow up to be good Christians. So I take them to Sunday school and worship. I tell them that God is the most important thing in our lives. Because God is so important we never miss Sunday worship. Well, sometimes we do. But only on one of those rare occasions when something more important than worshiping God comes up. You know, things like, a special school outing or we get tickets to a football game or the soccer coach schedules a game on Sunday morning or we have a chance to go camping or it has been a difficult week so we need to sleep in or company comes and we certainly can't take them to church with us or it is raining really hard when we have to go out and get in the car or my hair doesn't look as nice as I would like it to look or the kids don't want to go and we certainly don't want to force the kids to do something they don't want to do or something like that. And the kids grow up and don't have much to do with God and don't make worship attendance a priority and I wonder why. I taught them to be good Christians. Or maybe I just told them to be good Christians but I taught them something else. Connect the dots.

A wife is disrespectful toward her husband and treats him like he is one of the children and he gets involved with another woman. Connect the dots. A husband is consistently rude and unkind to his wife and she leaves him. Connect the dots. A husband spends more time working on a project in the garage than he does on his relationship with his wife and the relationship isn't as good as it once was. Connect the dots. A wife criticizes her husband and he doesn't want to spend time with her. Connect the dots. You consistently show up late to work and you get fired. Connect the dots.

Okay, game time! Let's connect the dots. I am good at it. As a counselor that is what I spend most of my time doing with people – connecting the dots. I just pray more adults will learn to get a good grip on their crayons, concentrate hard and start connecting the dots on their own.

You’re Mean

2010-12-21T15:47:00.003-05:00

Most of my life people have accused me of being mean. Which is interesting since God has called me into two very emotionally sensitive ministries; pastoral ministry and counseling. Does God have a sense of humor or what? There is a commercial out that several people have called to my attention. For some odd reason, when they view it, I come to mind. Check it out. It probably does say a lot about me because I think it is hilarious.

And I will admit to being mean. At least in my early years, it was true. As a grade school student I was afraid of people and painfully shy. My first three years of school I only spoke to my teachers and my big brother. I found that the best way to keep people at bay was to be mean to them. I didn’t have to say anything to them to keep them away because by the age of four I could glare down a goat.

As I gained a little age, it wasn’t so much that I was mean; I was just mad. About what I have no clue. Ask my older brother. I was mad all of the time. I woke up looking for a fight. If I wasn’t angry, it didn’t take much to get me there. Not only was I mean, I fought dirty and with any weapon I could lay my hands on and some were very sharp. That is probably why he didn’t tell on me to my parents when I started smoking because smoking seemed to calm me down a little. I’m sure he thought; anything to soothe the savage beast.

Then along came the junior high school years. I wasn’t particularly mean in junior high. I was too scared and confused to be anything – much less mean. Like most boys, for me junior high was a time of lying low and trying to figure out what was going on. My world was changing – rapidly. Suddenly girls became interesting and important. When I first noticed them they were mysterious and I couldn’t figure them out. (Some things haven’t changed much since junior high.) My body was growing rapidly and changing is some disturbing ways. Since the move up from grade school, school work had become more difficult with lots and lots of homework. I was aware I was lacking in some very necessary social skills to attract one of those puzzling girls I had noticed. But had no clue what they might be. My mother suggested bathing regularly but what do mothers know? So, like any intelligent boy of that age, I just shut up and stood in the corner.

Ah, then came high school. And with high school came sports. When I played football or baseball, I could be mean. In football I often did mean things. I played in the “good old days” before they started trying to make the game safe. I was so pleased when I split another player’s helmet or broke their facemask. If someone showed up on the field of play sporting a brace or a bandage I was all over it. In baseball, while my batting average never soared, I managed to develop a huge repertoire of nasty things to say to opposing players to take their attention off of the game. It is almost impossible to play good baseball when one is angry so my strategy was if you can’t out play them, irritate them into submission. Possibly the best game of my high school career was when the entire opposing team cleared the bench and, armed with bats, chased me into the locker room. I think I hit a nerve. Perhaps I hit a bunch nerves.

And then along came Jesus. When I was a college student my older brother helped me understand that Christianity is not a religious approach to understanding God but is a relationship with God made available through God’s Son, Jesus. I grabbed on to that relationship and everything about my life began to change. I saw God differently. I saw other people differently. The only thing that seemed to be the same was me. But I wasn’t. It was not long before I started realizing that I wasn’t so angry anymore. Instead of naturally being a “hater” I started becoming a “lover.” Instead of seeing people’s flaws and disliking them, my first impulse upon meeting someone new became to see what was right and good about them and like them. Weird. And people quit calling me mean.

That is until I got married and had children. My child consistently informed me that I was mean. I was mean because I forced them to do things they didn’t want to do. I didn’t let them do some of the things other kids were doing. They would tell me that I was yelling at them. That one always threw me because it was certain I had not raised my voice. Then I began to realize that what they meant was I was correcting them. After that, when they accused me of yelling at them I would tell them, “I can yell at you. I know how to yell. Would you like for me to yell at you?” Their answer was always no.

But I still occasionally hear the “you’re mean” accusation. And I hear others like me accused of being mean. And we are not. We are doing a “bad” thing. We are doing some socially unacceptable things. But we are not being mean. What we are doing is telling people the truth. In our present culture the ultimate bad thing to do is not to be nice. We have become so turned around and upside down morally and spiritually we have somehow made being real and honest a bad thing.

Don’t ever say anything that might make someone feel bad. Even if what they are doing is destructive physically, emotionally or spiritually. Especially spiritually. Someone is doing something that God has clearly pointed out as a sin. They are doing something that, for some excellent reasons, God has communicated that He doesn’t want us to do. Springing from a desire to help such a person, one points out that what they are doing is contrary to God’s word. The almost universal response is, “How dare you? You are being judgmental and mean. Tisk, tisk. (And this is my favorite part.) God wouldn’t approve of your being mean. (Mean being a code word for telling the truth.)

There are those of us who refuse to lie to people and tell them things that will make them feel better emotionally when we know that what they are doing is going to profoundly damage them emotionally, physically or spiritually. We are great believes that when Jesus said, “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free,” He meant it and it was and still is the truth. We are great believers in the story of the Prodigal Son; the story about the boy who had to come to himself, had to figure out who he was, where he was and how he had gotten there before he had any chance at all of finding his way out of his self induced trauma. We believe that before you can find your way to where you are going you have to figure out where you really are. Before you can come to God, you must come to yourself; come to the place where you can be honest with and about yourself.

I have also come to the conclusion that subtle doesn’t work. So, when I speak the truth I seek to be very clear. I want to help you make some positive decisions in your life and will put a lot on the line to get that done. You and your future are so important to me that I will take a chance on offending or angering you. I did it with my children, their friends and their friends’ parents. When my children made some outrageous request and backed that request up with the authoritative statement that their friends’ parents were going to let them do it I was will to respond and say, “If your friends’ parents are going to let them do this, your friends’ parents are stupid and I am not. By the way, you are welcome to tell your friends’ parents what I said about them and have them call me.” I never received a call.

Mean? No, I am not mean. Clear? Yes. Subtle? Not even close. Willing to take a chance on you not liking me in order to help you? Every time. I guess it comes down to this. I love you too much and I have become way too nice to be anything but “mean.”

That’s How We Do Things Around Here

2010-12-16T15:50:00.002-05:00

As I write this we are receiving our first significant snowfall of the year.

In typical southwestern Ohio fashion most people, having stocked up on enough groceries to survive for several months, are cowering in their homes watching 24/7 weather reports that repeat the same information over and over again. Playing in the background is the most super-duper, Doppler-poppler, hoopty-doopty radar system money can buy. Each television station claims to have the most sophisticated radar available but they all look the same to me. These updates are interspersed with riveting reports from staff members sent out in the nasty weather, wrapped up in some truly unattractive outfits, helping us keep our fingers on the pulse of the effect this "blizzard" is having on Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. Invariably the reporter is standing next to snow covered roadways reporting to us that it has snowed, it is cold and the roads have snow on them. And they call it news. I am thinking that when one of those cars zipping past hits a slick spot in the road they are going to make a slick spot in the road out of the reporter and then we really will have some news.

Those of us who feel that it is necessary for us to be at work have braved the "white death." Many of those on the highways are barreling along the Interstate at about 7 miles per hour causing those who do know how to drive in the snow to be ferociously frustrated and amazingly late to work.

Watching all of this happen brings back memories of my years in Iowa where any snowfall of less than 18 inches failed to make much of a mention on the evening news and no one considered for a moment staying home because of the weather. It was a cultural truth I learned soon after moving to central Iowa. During my first year serving the church there, on a Saturday evening we had our first 14+ inch snowfall of season. Being fresh from Kentucky I was pretty impressed. I called the Board Chair and sought advice about possibly canceling the Sunday services. He laughed at me. I took that as a no. He said, "Just wait and see what happens."

Sure enough, the people came. In fact, we had the largest crowd at church that morning since Easter Sunday. The place was packed and I was amazed. Later he told me, "Everyone comes on snowy days. It is a matter of pride." I soon learned that, no matter how you cut it, Iowans are a hardy lot.

The difference between a snowy day in Iowa and a snowy day in southern Ohio would cause one to doubt they were both in the same country. It is interesting to see the impact our culture, even the local culture, has on our attitudes and actions. We are more influenced by our cultural "Group-think" than any of us realize or would like to admit. For example, research has shown the more a particular mental disease is talked about in a society, the more news stories are written about it, the more research that is done and the more medication that is advertized, the more people are effected by those particular symptoms and claim to have and are diagnosed with that illness. Like it or not, we tend to talk ourselves into being crazy. No doubt we talk ourselves into a lot of irrational behavior. When it comes to our children we, as a society, have become "normally" paranoid. If one of our little darlings wanders out of our sight for an instant we are sure some big bad man will snatch them up. So we hover over our children 24/7. I believe some educators call us "helicopter parents." It is not healthy but it has become normal.

Impacting the culture in a positive way could be a good thing. Getting some positive, healthy group think going would be great. For example, if we were to truly believe that Jesus is Lord and that we serve Him and powerfully influenced our culture to believe that, it could be good. I think that is what God has called the church to do. We call that evangelism.

Well I have to be going. I have made about a million snowballs so I am going out to hide behind the bushes and wait for my neighbor to come out to shovel his walk. Me, I'm normal.

A Rainy Day

2010-12-01T19:52:00.002-05:00

It is raining again today. It has been raining all day. Raining, raining, raining. Rain and rain more rain. I would complain but we have been experiencing drought conditions around here since the middle of July. We need the rain. I have a pile of brush on my back lot that I have been waiting to burn for months. I am happy to see the rain – somewhat. If I had my druthers, it would only rain at night and the days would all be sunny.

The rain, coming on the heels of a drought, reminds me of a favorite saying of one our congregation's favorite farmers - Bob Weber. Bob, like many farmers, was somewhat of a philosopher. I think that comes from many years of working hand in hand with God to produce crops. Perhaps the philosophical bent comes from spending hour after hour alone in the cab of a tractor doing repetitious work like plowing. So much work done in such solitude gives one plenty of time to think. Bob Weber and all of the other farmers I have had in my congregations have been thinkers. Anyway, when I would complain about the lack of rain, Bob would always assure me that it will rain again. He would say, "That is why each year we have what they call an average rain fall." I miss Bob, his wonderful smile and his calming understanding of life.

My complaining about a rainy day reminded me of how we tend to approach life. We somehow have gotten the idea that times should never be tough and if they are we have no choice but to come completely unstrung. It doesn't seem to occur to us that if we hang around long enough the good times will return. We also fail to recognize that it is during the difficult times of life that we do our best growing and maturing. If every day were sunny we would die of thirst and if every day were rainy, we would drown.

Wouldn't we do much better in life if we would just embrace and engage each day as it comes realizing that the day is a gift from God and there is something in each day that we can receive from God that is a blessing and a tool for growth. Perhaps it goes back to our basic struggle in realizing that God is God and we are not and that we serve God; God does not serve us.

Anyway, it is raining and I am happy. Oh, no! The rain has turned to snow. I have lived in the Cincinnati area long enough that the sight of snow creates in me a powerful urge to go out and purchase bread and milk and then drive home at 7 miles per hour. ;-0.

Comfortable

2010-11-19T15:05:00.002-05:00

Our home has an attached garage. I really like having an attached garage because I hate having to scrape the frost off of my windshield in the morning before heading out to work.

Nancy and I are some of those rather unique people who keep their garage neatly arranged enough that we have room for two cars in our two car garage. Many of our neighbors with garages are forced to leave their cars out at night because their garages are too full to accommodate a car.

This morning, as i walked from the parking lot to my office, I realized one of the few drawbacks to having an attached garage. It was chilly and windy this morning and I didn't wear a jacket. I failed to realize the weather conditions because it was warm and dry in the house and it was warm and dry in the garage. It wasn't until I got out into the "real" world that I realized how things really were – cool, rainy and breezy.

My garage experience parallels, in many ways, our experiences as middle class American Christians. Because of our relative wealth (Compared to the rest of the world, we are rich!) and comfort, we have a difficult time identifying with those who have some pretty profound needs and live in some extremely challenging conditions. We, generally speaking, live insulated and isolated lives.

We tend to roll through life relatively problem free. And when difficulties do arise, we find ourselves ill equipped to deal with them. I am not suggesting that one should look for ways to suffer. But I am suggesting that our own comfort and well being not necessarily be our number one priority. Instead, perhaps, we could give up some of what we have and share it with others around us that are truly in need. Perhaps we could make decisions that are not foundationally predicated on what makes us most comfortable but take into consideration what God might want us to do and what might bless those around us who have some basic needs. Maybe, if I didn't spend every penny I earn on my wants and my never ending quest to placate my insatiable consumerism, I would have some money available to help those around me.

I am suggesting that we purposefully get beyond our carefully guarded comfort zones where we live hunkered down avoiding contact with the real world and surrounded by our creature comforts. I am suggesting that we get out into the world around us - a world filled with heartache, fear, frustration and need - and start sharing some of the love, grace and wealth God has given to us. I believe this would be a healthy thing to do. I believe this would be a good thing to do. And, I believe it is the Christian thing to do.

I'm just sayin'...

Really?

2010-11-15T11:22:00.003-05:00

There is a new set of commercials just hitting the TV screens about the use, or over use, of our cell phones. I especially like the commercials because they come from a company seeking to sell us, of all things, cell phones. In these commercials the common tendency to keep our faces buried in our cell phones when we are in very social settings is exposed and ridiculed. In each situation, the person being ignored responds by saying, "Really?" Watch the first commercial here on YouTube.

The commercial speaks to me because I have often watched people around me do silly things, rude things, thoughtless things, dangerous things, unhealthy things and yes, stupid things. And my response has often been, "Really?" "Really" is shorthand for, "Are you kidding? What, if anything, are you thinking?" No doubt there have been many times in my life that those around me have wanted to say to me, "Really?" None of us are above an occasional "Really?"

Being a lifelong church person and a 40 year veteran of the ministry, let me share with you some of the things I have watched people do and heard people say that has given me an overwhelming desire to respond with "Really?" Allow me to share some of those with you.

"I am leaving the church because I don't like the music." Really? "I can't go to that Life Group because someone in the group hurt my feelings." Really? "I am going to start going to another church because your sermons make me uncomfortable." Really? "I am angry because they changed the order of service." Really? "I am not being spiritually fed by the sermons." Really?

Since many of my readers are a part of the church scene for many years, they may wonder why I would say, Really? I believe that if all you have ever known in your life is dysfunction, you come to believe that your dysfunction is normal, it is the way things are and the way things should be. It is my opinion that we have done church so poorly, so dysfunctionally, so unbiblically for so long, most of us wouldn't understand healthy church if I kicked us in the shins. With that in mind, allow me to share the source of my "Really's?"

"I am leaving the church because I don't like the music." Really? The music is what motivates your commitment to the church; is foundational to your spirituality? The depth of your spiritual longing is hung up in your taste in music? Because, though we do our best to couch our dissatisfaction with the worship music in spiritual terms, it is about personal preference and taste.

"I can't go to that Life Group any longer because someone in the group hurt my feelings." Really? You are telling me that you are going to let your emotions control your life? That your first and only response to conflict is to run and you think you will end up in this life with any relationship with any person? You believe any spiritual growth in your life is going to be easy? You claim to love the world but you can't manage to get along with someone in your small group?

"I am going to start going to another church because your sermons make me uncomfortable." Really? Your consumer mentality, which you have brought to church with you, is telling you that the basic purpose of the church and the purpose of the sermons you hear are to make you comfortable? Jesus clearly called the church to go into the world and make disciples but you don't care – the church exists to meet your needs and the needs of your family?

"I am angry because they changed the order of service." Really? Your view of the purpose and mission of the church is so limited and self-centered that you would waste time and energy being upset about something as trivial as the order of worship? You observe the world around you in chaos, people living in misery, families being torn apart by a lack of love, commitment and civility, people running around in circles wasting time, energy and resources seeking fulfillment by doing more things, spending more money and buying more stuff and you choose to expend your emotional energy on how Sunday morning worship should go?

"I am not being spiritually fed by the sermons." Really? Does that mean that you are willing to say to me that you have been a Christian for years but, because of arrested development, you are still in the need of someone to feed you? You are saying that you are incapable of feeding yourself? You believe that you can subsist and possibly even grow on one spiritual meal a week (The Sermon.)?

Really? What an amazing commitment you must have to Jesus as your Lord and Savior and to the mission and vision of the church that it can be derailed by things like this. Really?

There Is a Reason Life Is a Mess

2010-11-10T19:40:00.002-05:00

As a pastor and as a friend, it is troubling to talk to church members and friends that I care so much about and have them report that they feel that: their relationship with God has ended; that God seems a million miles away; that they are in a very dark and lonely place; that their marriage is coming apart at the seams; that they have lost their passion for God and for life.

I hate to see anyone suffer and feel alienated from God and the people in their lives that should be the closest and most important.

Another dynamic in almost every one of these situations it that the people involved have made some monumental choices that have led them to be where they are. At the time they made those choices, the choices seemed inconsequential.

Choices like skipping worship for a family outing or kid's sports or some time away or just some down time. Choices like going out with the girls or the guys instead of hanging out with the spouse or spending time with the family. Choices like taking on another extracurricular activity or buying something extra and having to work overtime to pay for it. Making the choice to get deeper in debt instead of saving to buy whatever caught their eye and then living with the added tension of unpaid and un-payable bills. Deciding that life is too full and tiring to continue to attend Life Group or to continue doing the ministry that God has called them to.

We make small choices that, step by little step, imperceptibly draw us away from the things we need to do to keep our relationship with God and our relationships with the people that matter most in our lives strong and healthy. And then, when everything collapses, we wonder what happened. In almost every case people have failed to follow the very simple plan we, as a church, have given to help maintain a healthy and growing spiritual life. When you are a part of Legacy Christian Church, you are urged to consistently do just four simple things: to follow and exercise four spiritual disciplines. We don't guarantee that life will become problem free, but we do believe it will be better and you will be a stronger Christian. These are those four things.

In an effort to help us give our lives the meaning, purpose and direction God would want for us, Legacy Christian Church proposes that we simplify our lives, live them purposefully and with discipline. At the core of this concept is the idea that we do four simple things (Disciplines) consistently and well.

1. WORSHIP - Spend time each week in corporate worship. There is something powerful and life changing about worshiping God in a Body of Believers.
Jesus said, "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth." John 4:23-24

2. PERSONAL QUIET TIME - You are encouraged to set aside a few minutes each day to be with God. This time could include Bible reading, meditation, silence, prayer and listening for God to speak truth into your heart. Personal spiritual growth happens in this time of study, prayer and reflection. We believe each individual believer is ultimately responsible for his or her spiritual growth.
Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place... Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, to Beth-saida, while he dismissed the crowd. And after he (Jesus) had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray.
Mark 6:31-32, 45-46

3. LIFE GROUP - Everyone is urged to actively participate in a healthy, vibrant Life Group. It is in the intimacy and trust of a Life Group that lives can be changed. In a Life Group we worship, study, share life and do ministry together. A Life Group can be a great entry way for a person to come into the life of the church. In a Life Group life is truly shared, truth can be spoken and accountability partnerships can be formed.
"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10:25

4. MINISTRY - All Christians are called to live lives of purpose in serving others. That service can be done in serving follow Christians in the church - we can that ministry. Or we can serve those who do not yet know God, bless them and connect with them to help them come to know and experience God's love.
You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself. Galatians 5: 13-14

As someone who cares deeply about you, I encourage you to just do these four things. Please.

A Fan of Jesus

2010-11-03T19:12:00.001-04:00

If you are a sports fan, last week was the coming of the "Perfect (Sports) Storm." We had the chance, all in the same week, to watch the World Series, professional football, college football, high school football, professional basketball, college basketball, golf, and professional soccer. I have no doubt that the All-American couch potato athletes among us were floating around the outskirts of Heaven.

Fans are fun to watch. We go to games wearing multicolored wigs, paint our faces and sometimes our entire upper bodies, wear our teams colors, wear team jerseys and caps, hold up signs rooting our team on, stand through the entire game, scream until we are hoarse, stomp our feet, wave our arms, wave pompoms and towels and jump up and down and cheer when our team scores. If the team wins a championship we dance in the streets and party all night.

Then, when we come to worship the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings, we quietly sit in our seats, complain about having to stand too long, glare at people who become too demonstrative, refuse to sing if we don't like the song and call that worship.

On my Facebook page I describe my religious affiliation as "A Fan of Jesus". As a Fan of Jesus, when I come to worship the King of Kings I reserve the right to paint my face, jump up and down, scream my encouragement and dance in the streets. It strikes me that Jesus deserves more of my energy and excitement than a bunch of guys playing with a ball.

How about you? Are you willing to join me in being a Fan of Jesus in church this Sunday morning?

Fuzzy Church

2010-10-26T10:12:00.004-04:00

Fuzzy Vision
I can’t see. I didn’t know that until I entered the first grade. When I complained of being unable to see the writing on the board I was whisked off to the eye doctor and fitted for my first pair of glasses. The eye doctor mumbled some odd numbers like 20/200 and kept shaking his head. Soon I was fitted with a great pair of very unattractive glasses. This was back in ancient times before several great innovations in lens technology so I had glasses with rather thick lenses. Kids being kids they immediately dubbed my glasses and me “Coke bottle bottoms.”

Frankly, I didn’t care what they called me. I could see. There I was, six years old, and for the first time in my life I could see the things that other kids had been seeing all along. I discovered that one could see individual blades of grass without having to lie down on the grass. Trees have individual leaves. A baseball thrown to me could be seen before it was just inches away. A whole new world and a whole new way of seeing the world had opened up to me. Call me names, I didn’t care. Life was suddenly bright and clear. I especially loved the clear part. It took a bit of adjusting to but adjust I did and love it I did.

Fuzzy Church
We live in a time when we like to label things and people and ideas and politics and just about everything. We, in the life of the church, like labels too. There are all kinds of “Church” going on out there. There is traditional church, contemporary church, emergent church, progressive church, house church, open and affirming church, life church, simple church, cyber church, and the list could go on and on. I would like to propose one more “type” of church – Fuzzy Church.

Fuzzy Church is what most of our aging, mainline denominational churches seem to be practicing. By Fuzzy Church I mean we are doing church without our glasses on. We can’t see where we are or where we are going. We, the church, lack what I lacked before entering school and visiting the eye doctor – clear vision. We insist on doing church, or are at least willing to do church, without a clear, powerful and empowering vision from God. And without a vision our blurred, fuzzy perceptions are causing us to stumble around, running into problems, arguing with each other about minutia, running after whatever appears in our paths as something cool and trendy to do, attempting to build our churches on what we might consider to be good ideas.

I am not a proponent of Fuzzy Church. Not only do I not want to practice Fuzzy Church, I believe if we keep doing Fuzzy Church, we are going to kill the church. Well over 100 years ago, in what I believe was an amazingly egocentric move, Frederick Nietzsche pronounce God dead. He, of course, didn’t mean that God had really died, but that God had never existed. It is a cheap shot but I will take it by announcing that 100 + years later God is much more alive than Nietzsche.

Since the days of the announcement of the death of God, many people have been writing about and arguing about and worrying about the life and health of the church in North America. For the past several decades those within the church and those who observe the church from a safe distance have opined that the church is on its way out. Many people have joyfully pronounced the church dead. I don’t think the church is dead. Well, I don’t think it is all dead, but it is just mostly dead. (My thanks and apologies to the writers of The Princess Bride.)

The Results of Fuzzy Church
The church in the northern hemisphere, as we have known it for several centuries, is just about dead. That is not an opinion. It is not an accusation. It is not a complaint. It is not a call to arms. It is just an observation. If the statistics being reported to us are accurate, it is an astute observation of the obvious. The church in North America is dying and it is dying rapidly.

I feel badly about that… kinda. First let me address the “I feel bad” part of that statement. I feel bad because I love the church. In general, the church has been good to me and for me. Some of the best (and some of the worst) experiences I have had have been in the church. I believe in the church. I think Jesus founded the church as His vehicle to impact this sadly sick world with His message of love, health and forgiveness. The church, at its best, is an awesome, beautiful thing. But all too often, the church is not at its best. And at its less-than-best the church must be seen as unacceptable.

I feel badly that the church is dying because it is me and people like me who have just about finished it off. It has been under my generation’s leadership that the church has taken a nose dive in attendance, mission, ministry and cultural influence. The church has survived some amazingly toxic assaults, both ecclesiastical and secular, over the centuries. But nothing can measure up to the toxicity of our present North American culture. I am not attempting to fix blame for the state of the church; just making an observation. Without going into a cultural diatribe let me just say that our present culture is a challenging place and time to do church. Personally, I like the challenge. I believe it is in just such a challenging arena that the church can flourish and grow to its fullest potential. That is where my “kinda” came from. Though we, the church, seem to be dying rapidly, I believe we are perfectly positioned to profoundly impact our world.

Get a Clear Vision
This article is not a plea or an apologetic for everyone to do church like I think we should do church. It is a call for us to quit doing church driven by our personal preferences, our political agendas, our perceived needs, or our human frailties. Instead we must start doing church driven by the vision God has given us, you and me, for the church. It is not about trying to meet the needs of the people in our communities (Though that is not a bad idea.), or speaking to the preferences of a specific generational group (But that is not to be ignored.), or pushing a political agenda in the name of justice or righteousness (Though justice and righteousness are great things to pursue.), or putting all of our time, energy and effort in developing programs and events that might grow the church (Again not a bad idea.). Instead we must get a Godly vision.

Quite honestly, I have attempted to “do church” using almost all of the previously mentioned platforms, policies, programs and processes. And in doing those things I have been moderately successful… for a while… sometimes. But the church always seemed to be wandering, feeling its way around, not going anywhere in particular or doing anything with strength and vigor. I have come to believe we were doing fuzzy church.

It is probably pretty common to find it easier to try to do church by searching out new and innovative programs, plugging them into my local church situation and trying to get them to work. Most of us find it to be much more difficult to get a vision and using that vision to drive the church. By vision I do not mean coming up with a good idea. Coming up with a good idea or two is easy. I can come up with a couple of good ideas a week. I am talking about finding a God-given, divinely inspired vision for what God would have your local church be and do. Taking the time and energy to seek God and to listen to what God has to say is difficult. Some, if not most, churches seek God’s vision by having a meeting and inviting everyone to come and have their say. And I am all for people having their say. But the voice I want to hear is God and that voice is usually heard in the quiet of prayer and meditation and in conversations with follow visionaries. To find God’s calling, mission and vision for your church is going to take a deep investment in prayer, study of the scripture and deeply spiritual conversations among the spiritual leaders of the church.

With a clear vision to guide the church, fuzzy church goes away. Discussions are held in the context of the vision. Instead of making decisions based on personal preference or past experiences, decisions begin to be made according to where the vision is directing the church.

Should our worship service be traditional, blended or contemporary? What is our vision?
Should we invest in a children’s sports ministry? What is our vision?
Should we consider remodeling the present structure or should we relocate? What is our vision?
Should the church develop a small group ministry? What is the vision?
What kind of staffing should the church add? What is the vision?

Being guided by a God given vision changes how we do church. It changes everything about what we decide and how we decide to move into the church’s future. Vision brings clarity. No more fuzzy church.

Pretty Good

2010-09-22T16:14:00.002-04:00

A couple of months ago I attended a meeting where the leader wanted to play one of those "let's get to know each other" games. These games are often played in meetings I attend because I am a minister and thus attend meetings with other minister types. And, generally speaking, either by natural inclination or through training, minister types tend to be touchy/feely people. I just hate those games.

Before you insist I enter therapy to gain insight into my problem, I am pretty sure I know why I hate that crap. First of all, I am not a touchy/feely kind of guy so the get to know you better/share your inner being with me goofiness just drives me up the wall. My lack of desire to "share" with you is probably because I really have no interest in getting to know the other people in the group and because I am not particularly interested in them getting to know me. Here is what I am thinking: "I came for the meeting. The meeting has a purpose or I would not have come to the meeting. So let's get on with the meeting because the sooner we get on with the meeting the sooner we can finish the meeting and I can leave the meeting." The nice way to look at this attitude is that I am mission oriented. Another take could be that I don't particularly enjoy being around people. I say let's go with the mission oriented idea.

The variations on the get to know you games are limited so they are pretty predictable. Sooner or later we almost always end up with one of those "Who are you questions?" Answering that question invariably takes us through a cycle of answers as the group leader attempts to "empower" us to share who we really are. The first round of the cycle is where we tell each other what we do for a living. Since our deeply sensitive group leader can't leave well enough alone, he or she knowingly smiles and tells us that our jobs don't define who were are. The leader is wrong but at this point I choose to not correct the leader.

So we go around again and try to sound a little more profound on our second try. We say things like "I am a husband… a father… a Christian." There are smiles all around and it is obvious that our more insightful, more touchy/feely answers, are better and more correct answers. Since this isn't my first rodeo, occasionally I jump ahead and give the "correct" answer the first time around. I do this for several reasons. Because it throws the leader and his or her plan off course and that is fun to watch. Or because it speeds up the process and we can get on with the meeting. Or because it weird's out the people in the meeting who already know me.

At this particular meeting I jumped right in and answered the "Who are you?" question honestly. It was not my intention but my answer kind of kinked things up when I told the group, "I am a failure." It took a couple of seconds for my answer to sink in and the shock waves to settle. And then they all piled in with their heartfelt reassurances that of course I wasn't a failure, I was wonderful, blah, blah, blah. I smiled because their words were less for me and more for them. They needed to make me take that back. They thought they were trying to make me feel better, but they were just trying to make themselves feel better because we humans can deal with just about anything but the truth. I find it fascinating, but it seems that most often speaking the truth is perceived as being rude or mean.

If you ask me who I am (And I realize you haven't, I can answer that question. I am a son, a brother (five times), a husband (twice), a father (several times), a grandfather (several more times), a minister (more places than I really want to recount), a writer, a firefighter and EMT, a teacher, a police and prison chaplain, and a Christian. And pretty much a failure at all of these.

When I say that I am a failure I do not mean that I am a dismal, pathetic failure. Mine is not a life that is in the crapper. It isn't a "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me I going out in the yard and eat worms," "Buddy could you spare me a dollar," failure of a life. Let me put it like this - You wouldn't want to be married to me. I expect any day to be arrested for impersonating a minister. If nice is the definition of a good Christian, I am never going to make the grade.

I have done many things but none of them really well. Sure, I have, as a Christian and as a minister, led a bunch of people to meet God. And, as an EMT, I have delayed that God meeting for a few people. My kids don't hate me and my church thinks they have probably had worse ministers. I can't preach my way out of a paper bag but I can put a few holes in the bag.

It's not so much that I am a failure, it is just I haven't done anything all that well. I am a jack of all trades and a master of none. I haven't excelled at much of anything and some of the things I have tried to do have ended with me face down in the turf. Pretty good would describe me. I played sports in high school and I was pretty good but not college scholarship material. I have graduated from high school, college and a couple of graduate schools and I was a pretty good student. I have written several books and one of them was pretty good.

Perhaps I have a problem with expectations. Over the years I have managed to get to the point that I have almost no expectations of others but my expectations for me remain high. I would, sometime in my life, love to pass up pretty good and do at least one excellent. That wouldn't be as much of a problem as it is but I am running out of time. I am feeling a time constraint. To steal a line from 30 something childless women, my biological clock is ticking. I am no longer young. Heck, I am no longer middle aged, unless I am going to live well past 100. Not much chance of that since I get a sense from my doctor that he will be pleased if he manages to drag my pathetic body past 65 and into retirement.

You didn't ask, but that is who I am. A guy who is neither pretty nor good who has done most things in life pretty good but is still hoping for better.

Systemic Evangelism

2010-09-15T19:53:00.004-04:00

It is my belief that the church of North America is very poorly at doing this thing we call evangelism. We are bad at it for many different reasons. But at the heart of the problem is our approach. We don't do evangelism well because instead of it being a part of who we are as Christians, being a part of our Christian DNA, instead of being "Systemic," it is something we try to do. And we do it very badly.

Some foundational observations about the church in North America:

A majority of mainline protestant churches in North America have been suffering a decline in membership and ministry for several decades.
Many programs, processes, plans and ministries having to do with evangelism and/or church growth have been introduced over the past several decades and, generally speaking, have not been particularly productive. We have tried revivals, rallies, Bring-A-Friend Day, door-to-door canvassing, mass phone campaigns, newspaper ads, mass mailings, training classes in personal evangelism and much more. I have had limited success with several of these programs, but the emphasis is on the word "limited."
Continuing to do church 1950's style does not work in our present culture even though we insist on attempting to do so. Many churches have leaders who are primed and ready to lead their church back to 1959. Unfortunately, 1959 is gone and is never going to return.
Research has helped us understand that about 70% of the people in our culture are unchurched.
Over my years of ministry it has become clear that not everyone has a passion for evangelism and church growth. When I say, not everyone, I mean, just about nobody. Every three years or so I have a church leader suggest that, since people are so uncomfortable with the concept and the word, we should find a word to replace evangelism. We have tried several times but the reality is, as they say, "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig."
The generally accepted view of the church has changed dramatically over the past few decades. Back in the middle of the past century, people generally saw church attendance as a good thing. If they didn't go, they felt they should and encouraged church attendance for others. Church was a good, positive and safe place. That perception has changed. The church has a remarkable PR problem and is now seen by many of the unchurched as a negative and bad place or group that wants to do them harm.

What is good about all of this change?

As the church attempts to live and grow and impact a culture that is very different than the culture of the 1950's and 60's we, of the church, are forced to reassess how we do church and how we do evangelism. As we come to terms with the reality that our culture is no longer church centered and the church has become marginalized and that our culture has, in fact, become generally hostile toward the church; when we realize that it is not unusual in some sectors of our society for a believer to keep his or her church attendance a secret, it becomes clearer that what we are doing in the area of evangelism is not working. In such an atmosphere, it seems obvious to me that the church must become much more aggressive in being the church.

Most likely the word "aggressive" sounds a bit strong to most of my readers. But I mean it in the best sense. I am not suggesting that we preach on street corners or corner coworkers at the lunch counter and beat them with a 20 pound Bible or pass out "Are You Going to Hell?" tracts to every waitress or waiter who serves us. By aggressive I am simply suggesting that we realize that evangelism is not someone else's job and we, Joe and Jane Churchgoer, must get out of the pew and out into the world to share the Good News about Jesus.

In our new and different culture we are literally forced to rethink what evangelism is and how we must do it. Evangelism is less about learning and delivering a particular canned message or about convincing others to agree with your religious tenets and much more about being Christian in a not particularly Christian culture. We must be more aggressive in connecting with people who seem to not yet know God, serving them, loving then and sharing the good news of God's love with them through our lives and life stories.

Preparing your church members for the task of evangelism

It used to be preparing to do evangelism was accomplished by attending classes that taught one to memorize a prepackaged "get saved" message and prepared the witness to answer probable problematic questions seekers might have about God and life and the church. It was about gathering information and memorizing answers. Now we realize that evangelism is about living a life under the Lordship of Christ, living a Christian lifestyle, humbly and lovingly, in the midst of those who are not and then waiting to see what happens.

Evangelism is not something we do; it is a part of who we are. Doing evangelism is no longer based on the idea of having evangelistic events or witnessing conversations. Evangelism must be based on developing intentional relationships with people who do not yet know God. Someone will certainly voice the concern, "Are you developing relationships with the ulterior motive of attempting to lead someone to Christ?" My response is "Absolutely!" It is not a bad thing. It is the best, the kindest and most meaningful thing I could ever do for a friend.

Henrietta Mears said in some of her classic Christian writing, "A Christian should be like the lifeguard at the beach. Everyone on the beach knows who the lifeguard is, but by and large, they go about their activities paying little attention to the lifeguard -- until someone gets in trouble. Then everyone knows where to go for help." People don't care until there is an emergency and suddenly they turn to the lifeguard for help. The lifeguard becomes very important to them. Connecting with the lifeguard becomes a matter of life or death. The lifeguard's task is to be ready and watchful.

We must learn to be at the right place at the right time to do evangelism. We must cultivate relationships and friendships with pre Christians. And we must wait for them to express their need for their lives to be more than a life without Christ can be; for them to express a desire for life to have meaning and purpose; for them to share the need to be loved unconditionally; to share the need to feed their spiritual nature; to share the need to know God. Our agenda must be their agenda. It takes some careful and intense listening to hear someone express that need for God. But when that need is expressed, faith sharing begins.

To impact our culture, we, the church, are going to have to do some things differently. It could be argued that we need to do everything differently. For evangelism to become something that your church does, it must move from being a ministry or a program or an activity and become a part of the Christian lifestyle that the members live. It must become systemic.

The Heart of Systemic Evangelism

At the heart of systemic evangelism is the spiritual life of the believer – the church member. It is a truth that we tend to talk about and share with others the things that we care about and are excited about. We do that sharing in very natural and non threatening ways. We are pleased with something in or about our lives and can hardly contain ourselves. We tell the people we care about the things we care about.

So, at the heart of effective, systemic evangelism is not classes that disseminate information and prepare people to "close the deal". People are not motivated to do evangelism by guilt inducing sermons. The result of such sermons it that they still do not do evangelism, only now to also feel bad about not doing it. Effective systemic evangelism happens when believers have a healthy, viable and growing relationship with the Living God. Evangelism happens when we experience the reality of God's leading and presence in our everyday lives. It happens when God is alive and real to us and we just naturally tell others what God is doing in our lives. It happens when we pray for God to lead us and give us "divine appointments" and we watchfully expect those prayers to be answered.

A key in making this process work is helping church members develop a growing relationship with God. I often tell my congregation that nobody is interested in their religion. Even I am not interested in their religion. But I am dying to hear from someone who has a living relationship with living God and that relationship is making a difference in his or her life. Such a growing relationship is encouraged and sustained by maintaining a consistent time of prayer and study, consistent whole hearted participation in worship, active participation (not just attendance) in a small group and actively pursuing a ministry. If the average person will do those four things and I can just about guarantee that God will be a meaningful and exciting life partnership with God.

We must move beyond our discomfort of talking openly and candidly with our church members about spiritual things. What better place to have spiritually challenging and enriching conversations than in the context of the family of God? As church leaders we must model spiritual growth through active participation in spiritual disciplines. And we must challenge our church members to join us in the joy of using spiritual disciplines to allow us to be in the presence of God and grow in that relationship.

It is my firm belief and experience that if an individual will pursue a vital and growing relationship with God, one will have some God stories to share with the people around them. Those God stories – you telling them – that is what we call systemic evangelism.

All Part of Being Cool

2010-08-13T17:43:00.002-04:00

It has been interesting to watch the church over the past three decades as it has attempted to address an ever changing culture. We have been working at finding ways to connect with a growing population of people who seem not particularly interested in attending church. This disinterest has morphed to the point that many in the culture are hostile toward the church. During those decades a vast majority of mainline denominational churches have experienced significant declines in membership and attendance. We are hemorrhaging membership.

In attempting to deal with a dilemma that could be seen as possibly mortal to the life of the church, we have been trying many different things. Let's just take a peek at a few of those things the church has tried the past several years to attract the disinterested:

Liberal Theology. Let's cut down on the God talk; cull that embarrassing supernatural stuff out of the Bible; assure everyone that there is no sin and God is cool with whatever they choose to do; judgment is out and acceptance is in; what you believe doesn't matter as long as you act nice (Go Green, Baby!!) and give an agreeable nod toward God (Whomever or whatever he or she may be); be proud to project the image that I am a Christian but I look and act just like people who don't claim to know God; agree with the vocal progressive majority on whatever is the hot social topic of the day.
Seeker Friendly Church. Do whatever it takes to not seem like church. Get rid of the stained glass windows, crosses, vestments, and steeples. Watch your language and don't say things like "sin", "lost", "hell", "salvation", "fellowship", and anything that sounds the least little bit like Latin. Do not wear a tie. Jeans are the best. Serve coffee.
Contemporary Worship. Take the seeker friendly model and add the following: Avoid singing anything that sounds even a little bit like a hymn; have a band made up of two guitars, a bass, a keyboardist and a drummer; meet in a warehouse or empty mall; ditch the pulpit and replace it with a stool and a modern table; equip the venue with great electronics – multi channel, high quality sound system and video projector with a huge screen; project the scripture and songs on the screen; use cool videos.
Post Modern/Emergent. Bring the stained glass and crosses back in; lose the stool and table but don't bring the pulpit back; light some candles and burn some incense; do NOT preach but instead tell stories; go low tech; it is okay to meet in an old fashioned church building; continue wearing jeans and add cool shoes, a sport shirt or a T shirt with the tail out, facial hair, funky hairdo, and cool glasses; have people text you during the message (It is a message because we no long preach.); go out for a beer with the boys after worship.

If you haven't noticed, what we of the church have been trying to do for the past few decades is be cool. If we can be cool then people will like us (Especially the cool people.) and come to church with us. We believe that people don't come to church because they think the church and the people who go to church are not with it, relevant, the message isn't applicable to our times and church is a waste of time. We believe they don't think we are cool but if we could make them believe we are cool they would come. Their lack of interest couldn't possibly be caused by the fact that we seem to spend a whole lot of time at church and it hasn't seemed to make much of an impact on our lives so why would they want to waste their time in such an unproductive pursuit?

Perhaps our pursuit of being cool is a waste of time and energy. As I read the New Testament, it seems that Jesus never encouraged his followers to be cool. I think he encouraged us to be real, to follow him, to make disciples, to love God, to love one another, to love our enemies, to be servants, to be last instead of first. The whole deal sounds profoundly un-cool to me. As a friend wrote in response to an earlier blog, we want for the cool kids to like us and "we can't nuance our way into being accepted by the cool kids as Christians." As long as God and faith and morality come with the deal, it is not going to be popular or cool.

Please understand that I understand cool. I used to be cool. I was a teenager. Cool came easy. Everything I did was all part of being cool.

All of the elements were there. I dated one of the prettiest and most popular girls in school. I hung out with cool people, played football and baseball, partied with the best of them, did well in school but not "too good", wore the right clothes, strutted, and drove a convertible.

The convertible was only somewhat cool. It was my mother's car. It would have been cooler if it had been my car, but owning a car as a teenager had not yet become the constitutionally protected right it is today. By the way, my mother drove a convertible until we pried the car keys out of her wrinkled old hand. In our family, convertibles were just a part of our lives. Dad made enough money to keep my mother in a supply of very nice late model convertibles. My favorite mom verses convertible story was the day mother carefully rolled up all the windows and locked the doors. It was after she was in the store that we told her that she had left the top down.

Anyway, all of these elements that I carefully pieced together were a part of being cool. But they were not the deciding factors. The most important thing I had going for me that helped make me cool was the fact I was between the ages of 13 and 23.

Sometime in my twenties, my cool switch flipped. I can't tell you exactly when it happened. But it definitely happened. After reaching the "magic" age of un-coolness, all attempts to be cool just serve to make one look stupid. And that is okay. Because, if being cool is important to you after the age of 25, if you are spending much time, money and effort on being cool, you probably are stupid.

It was worse in my case. Not only did I get to be too old to be cool, I went to un-cool school. It was known as Seminary. Even before entering Seminary, I suspected it was not a haven for studs. And I resisted going. Boy, did I resist! My response to a call to the ministry is not a pretty story. I didn't particularly like ministers and the thought of actually being one made me nauseous. So, yours truly, "Stanley Stud," found himself as a 21 year old college graduate and a very unhappy camper in un-cool school. Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

Years have passed and I have adjusted to being a minister, not being cool and not driving a convertible. I was doing pretty well until just a few years ago. A friend of mine and I attended a meeting of the Ministerial Association in another community in another state. It was a traumatic experience. What a group! Since I didn't know whether it was funny or tragic, I opted for funny and decided (as my little sister used to say) "'tis better to laugh than to cry." I later came to know and appreciate every person who attended the meeting that day. But, as an outsider looking in, they were embarrassing. They could be described many ways. A Laurel and Hardy Recovery group working on not falling down all the time. A group researching ways to make life seem much more serious and complicated than it really is. A political action group dedicated to lots of politics with very little action. But I think my friend described the group best when he said, "I felt like I was at a Nerd Convention."

I was reminded of why I resisted going into the ministry and am still vaguely embarrassed admitting to a new acquaintance that I am a minister. We preachers had to have attended un-cool school to be as un-cool as we are. It couldn't just come naturally. Preachers need classes to learn how to dress goofy; believe being professional is more important than being real; answer questions nobody is asking; be more concerned with theology and doctrine than touching kids' lives for Christ; and be so out of touch with reality as to actually believe anyone else really cares as much about doctrine as we do. And then, in the midst of our un-coolness, we think we are going to attract the "cool kids" by being cool ourselves.

Pray for the preachers and our churches. I think we may be in trouble. And pray for me. I don't mind no longer being cool, but I don't want to get to the point that when Disney World^® needs a replacement for Goofy^®, they think of me.

Jesus Christ is Lord?

2010-07-06T16:25:00.003-04:00

Throughout the pages of the New Testament we are reminded that the followers of Jesus Christ referred to him as their Lord. All of the writers of the early church called him Lord. We are informed (or warned) that there will come a time when everyone will call him Lord. We read in Philippians 2:9-11, “Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

It seems that if we claim to be Christian it means that we are claiming that Jesus Christ is Lord. That claim can be a vague, other worldly claim or it can be a very personal proclamation of faith and lifestyle. I do believe that it is easier to proclaim Jesus Lord of West Lafayette, Indiana, than it is to proclaim him Lord of my life. For Jesus to be Lord of West Lafayette, nothing much has to change in my life and in how I choose to live my life. But if I proclaim him Lord of my life, it seems rather obvious that such a claim should have a dynamic effect on every aspect of my life.

That brings me to a question I would like to place before you for your consideration. This is a question that I have thought about off and on for many years. For me, the question speaks to the heart of what it really means to be a Christian. I would like to simplify the concept in order to come to a meaningful understanding of being Christian. As I hang around churches and Christian thinkers I am always amazed that their goal seems to be is to complicate Christianity to the point we can’t define it, we can’t understand it and thus we certainly cannot live it. I will admit that I am fascinated by many of the religious discussions but will also admit the when the discussion ends I usually think, “That was interesting but who really gives a crap?”

We North America Christians struggle with a meaningful understanding of Christianity for many reasons. One of our greatest challenges to truly understanding Christianity comes because we are, at our heart of hearts, consumers. If something or someone cannot serve us, cannot make life more comfortable for us, cannot plump up our lifestyle, cannot expand our power and influence, does not gain us anything, does not meet our needs and the needs of our family, we have a hard time believing such a thing has a place in our lives. When it comes to church, we are the ultimate consumers. We even say, when looking for a church to attend, that we are church shopping.

On one end of the consumer Christian spectrum we find the “Prosperity Gospel” preachers who tell the excited masses that being a Christian is all about God meeting your needs, making you happy and helping you prosper. When Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly,” he obviously meant that he wanted us to drive nice cars, live in houses with twice the floor space we need, be able to buy that boat we want, and if you are really tapped into the source, you will have a vacation home and a not particularly demanding but well paying job that you really like. Judging from the size of the mega churches that preach the prosperity gospel, it works. At least it seems that the prosperity preachers are prospering. This consumer Christianity is quite popular for obvious reasons. Even a cursory reading of the New Testament debunks this Americanized theology. But who reads that stuff and if one reads it, does anyone really take it seriously?

In other churches the consumer mentality is much more subtle. When “church shopping” we make it clear that we are looking for a church that has something for our kids, something for women, a men’s group, a singles ministry, a sports program, and fellowship groups. We want a church where we will feel accepted and will feel no pressure to change our lifestyle. Don’t be preaching and saying horribly intolerant things like I am a sinner and that some of the things I am doing are contrary to God’s calling and Word. I don’t want to change; I just want to feel good. I want to be inspired and soothed - I don’t want to be challenged and changed. Even though Jesus clearly taught the opposite, we want a church that says that the family is the most important thing in the world; family comes first. Mired in the slush of our semi Christian thinking, we honestly believe that my God will understand that He is important but my child’s participation in sports is more important; that I work hard and so weekend get-a-ways are more important than gathering to worship God and that I want to be a Christian but I don’t want to go overboard about this religious stuff and allow it to impact my thinking or my lifestyle.

Since we struggle so with what it really means to be a Christian, let’s simplify it. If you want to call it “dumbed down” I can live with that. We of the church, who kind of "get it" (Do any of us really get it?) realize that Christianity is not a religion that exists to meet our needs and make us fat and happy. It is not a religion of rules to be followed to get God to like us enough to let us into His heaven. It is not a club to be joined for social status and community acceptability. It is not a feel good society that is designed to make life easier to deal with. It is not a way to put God’s stamp of approval on the way we have chosen to live. Christianity is agreeing with Jesus' claim that He is Lord of all and inviting Him to be the Lord of my life. It is about selling out to God and giving over the lordship (control or say-so) of my life to Him.

Here is my question. If you claim to be a Christian and Jesus Christ is Lord of your life, what does that mean? How does His lordship impact your daily life - what you will and won't do for a living - how you spend your free time - what you do with your money - who and what you invest in? If Jesus is your Lord, how does your life look different from the people you know who do not claim to have made Jesus Lord of their lives? And, if your life isn't all that different than someone who is not interested in following Christ, why is it not? On the other hand, do you even think your life should be different because of your faith commitment?

This is not a rhetorical question. I am really interested in what you think.

Be Prepared for Working with Lenders

2010-07-01T12:46:00.002-04:00

A friend let me in on a great deal. A publisher would give me a book for free if I would write a review of the book. I love free.

Since I am interested in finances and have been thinking about refinancing my home, I chose MIND YOUR OWN MORTGAGE by Robert J. Bernabe. As I began the book and was confronted with the first piece of information I had not previously known, I thought of the old quote, "People who think they know everything irritate those of us who really do know everything." I thought I knew just about everything there was to know about finances and smart lending until Bernabe began to dole out some information.

In a well written and very informative book, the author clearly makes a case for using some simple wisdom, basic information and straightforward tools when financing or refinancing a home. He also gives guidance in managing and paying off one's mortgage. Armed with the information from this book I will definitely approach the acquisition of my next home mortgage quite differently than I have in the past.

Mr. Bernabe writes with clarity and great wisdom in his approach to dealing with personal finances. His advice is a bit countercultural and may be difficult for some readers to absorb and put into practice. But it is great advice, nonetheless.

I would highly recommend this book, especially for young couples first entering the minefield of home mortgages.

What Are You Bringing to the Party?

2010-06-24T11:50:00.002-04:00

It would seem that if there is going to be unrest in the church, if there is going to be complaining and threats of leaving a church, it is usually centered around worship. We Christians love our worship. We love to meet in our familiar place, see our familiar friends and sing our favorite/familiar songs. If the most used word in this last sentence is an indicator, that thing that causes unhappiness in our worship services is change. We love the familiar.

We should come to worship to worship God. But the reality is we come to worship for many different reasons. We come to see and hang out with some people we like. We come to worship to be encouraged and renewed. We come to worship to enjoy a familiar positive experience. We come to worship to find calm in our often stormy lives. We come to worship to experience God's grace and healing.

We come to worship for many reasons. But we rarely come for the right reason – to worship God. We come, not for what we can give, but for what we get. At our church often revisit the concept that worship is not about you, it is not about us, it is about God. We repeat this concept. We agree to this concept. But we fail to truly embrace and live out this concept.

Understanding that is not difficult for a person who listens well. If one listens to complaints about worship, one consistently hears phrases like, "I don't like…" "I am not getting…" "I'm not comfortable…" Notice the big "I" that consistently runs through such conversations. When confronted with this fact, we Christians immediately begin wrapping our conversation in religious words and deny that it is about "me" but is, instead, a spiritual problem. I must admit that one of my weaknesses as a pastor is that when the spiritual blah, blah, blah starts I just go absolutely ballistic.

There are two very popular spiritualized complaints that just about every pastor hears on a regular basis. The first is, "I am not being spiritually fed." Without going into a whole lot of detail, let me just say that such a statement is akin to a fully functioning adult complaining to me that they are hungry. Really? Well then feed yourself. When did it become someone else's responsibility to feed you physically or spiritually? If you are not severely physically or mentally handicapped, why would you ever think you would not take care of yourself? It is not someone else's responsibility to feed you physically or spiritually. And spiritual feeding is not what happens Sunday morning when the church gathers. We call that worship.

The other popular spiritualized complaint about worship is, "I don't feel the Spirit of God present in our worship services." Most people who make that statement don't realize that it is a confession of what they are lacking. You see, Jesus clearly stated, "Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there also." So, Jesus, or the Spirit of God, is present every time we meet for worship because Jesus promised He would be there and Jesus is trustworthy. What you are saying is, "The Spirit of God is present in our worship services but there is something dysfunctional in my personal life or my spiritual life or my approach to worship that is blocking my interaction with the Holy Spirit during worship and I need to get my stuff together." Quite honestly, when people do their spiritualized complaining they are much more interested in fixing you or having you fix something the church is doing than they are in being fixed themselves.

At the heart of our worship struggles is that we come to worship seeking to receive rather than to give. We come seeking to get what we perceive we need rather than coming to give God praise. We come seeking for someone else to do something that will make us feel or do better. We come to listen, to take, to hear, to receive.

In 1 Corinthians 14:26 Paul says something simple and yet life changing about worship. "What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church." Paul tells us the simple truth that we all need to bring something to share in worship. Often all we bring is our neediness, our bad attitude, our depression, our sinfulness, our sickness. On occasion that can't be helped. Sometimes life is very difficult.

But, more often than not, we should take care of such issues in our daily walk and encounters with God as we seek to grow spiritually on a daily basis in our spiritual disciplines. Instead, we should bring with us some of the good gifts, the spiritual joy, the word God has given us, the insights and the positive experiences we have received from living a life of worship with Him in the past week. We should bring those to worship to share with others. In many ways, as far as the believer is concerned, Sunday worship is not a soup kitchen for the starving; it is a church potluck dinner. Coming only to receive should be a rare happening and coming to share the goodness of God should be the norm.

So, next Sunday morning, as you pack the family into the car, ask yourself, "What am I bringing to the party?"